Five Hilarious Anti-Obama Smears

Over at Alternet, Brad Reed offers this article entitled “The Right’s Five Most Hilariously Boneheaded Anti-Obama Smears".

In recent months, right-wing opinion outlets of varying pedigrees have accused Barack Obama of participating in an increasingly preposterous web of dopey conspiracies, including plots to make himself the next Hitler, to forge his birth certificate and, most sinisterly, to make children learn Spanish. And thanks to the wonder of the Internet and right-wing blogs, we can now chronicle how right-wing memes are spawned, from their genesis within the comments section of the Free Republic Web site to their viral spread across the Michelle Malkin blog empire to their final destination in the pages of "respectable" conservative opinion journals such as the Weekly Standard, the National Review and the Wall Street Journal op-ed page. In this article, you will learn about the Right's five most unintentionally hilarious not-ready-for-prime-time smears that have been trial-ballooned in various forms during the 2008 presidential campaign. Each conspiracy will be rated on a scale of 1 to 10 wingnuts that will be a reflection of its originality, implausibility and sheer, flat-out insanity.

While I'd like to say that this article will be informative and enlightening, I'm not going to lie to you: Your IQ will plummet by at least 10 points just by reading about the first two smears, and by a whopping 30 points by the time you get to Obama's unseemly affection for fancy vegetables. I recommend listening to a nice collection of Bach cantatas while reading this article, and also having copies of Joyce's Ulysses and Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow nearby in case you need to take a break and feel smart again. Now if you're ready, we're going to move on to the first smear, which just happens to be:

I will list the five titles below.

SMEAR #1: OBAMA IS A COMMIE NAZI!

SMEAR #2: BERNIE MAC/LUDACRIS/SOME OTHER BLACK ENTERTAINER WILL BRING DOWN OBAMA'S CAMPAIGN!

SMEAR #3: OBAMA'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE PROVES ?

SMEAR #4: OBAMA EXERCISES TOO MUCH AND DOESN'T GORGE HIS FACE WITH FATTY, UNHEALTHY GOO!

SMEAR #5: OBAMA WANTS YOUR CHILD TO LEARN SPANISH!

Go over to read the whole story HERE. It is somewhat long, but worth it.

Warning: Spew Alert.

And so it goes.

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