Having lost pretty much everything last year: 30 year relationship, house, most furnishings, personal items, and all the entanglements that entwine a 3 decade partnered life where everything was shared, I am slowly coming to grips with this new life and even tolerate being alone. It’s taken a long time to get to this place in the journey. I went from ‘homeowner’ to ‘homeless’ in the space of six weeks. A long and sordid tale of lies, betrayal, theft, deceit, and cover up that won’t be repeated here, but may one day be a Broadway musical. The gourmet cooking and the other trappings once enjoyed have been discarded, or the property of the Ex and the new person in his life. ‘Things’ matter very much to them; more toys, bigger houses, dinner parties, lots of friends and acquaintances to impress.
The key to regaining some sort of sanity for me was reducing stress (never easy for me), and working to get healthy again. This apartment has been the perfect place to heal following two years of turmoil, surgeries, and copious amounts of medications. None of the drugs were fun, and did little to relieve stress, so I plodded on putting one foot in front of the other. The fact that I no longer have health insurance (another stress inducer) gave me the determination to watch my health carefully. Having the support of a few friends who stuck around, and my boss and coworkers has been a godsend.
Kidney stones and the back fractures aside, I have not been sick in a whole year. No cold or flu in two years, which is very telling and probably related to the fact that I am no longer around large groups of people coughing, sniffling and spreading their cold germs and viruses around.
Limited kitchen appliances – and cabinet space – forced me to cook more creatively; the addition of the Cuisinart Convection Oven resulted in some amazing meals and was well worth the expense.
Looking ahead to 2009 and the new President, I look forward to the healing of the country and our place in the world. Flushing the past eight years may cause some serious sewer backups, but that must be done too. Personally looking forward to the possibility of full time employment that I enjoy with people I like. Preferably, a job with regular hours freeing up my time to get back to the volunteer work I enjoyed in the past.
I am not a New Year’s Eve Party type, so it’s likely I’ll be at the apartment, perhaps cooking something extra festive for supper and in bed fast asleep by 9 pm. I’ll be working New Year’s day, so I should be well rested.
I’ve never considered New Year’s Eve a proper holiday; more as an excuse to get blind drunk and make an ass of oneself, which, when you think about it, one can accomplish at any time of the year.
Anyway, it’s an absolutely beautiful day here at the shore with the temperature a balmy 72’F, and bright sun. The winds have picked up so the windows have been opened to allow fresh air into the place. Hard to believe that it was in the single digits only three days ago.
I’ll be meeting a couple of friends after work tomorrow evening at the Purple Parrot. Monday is Burger Night and it will be my first taste of beef in about 2 weeks. Haven’t been to the Parrot in 5 weeks, so it ought to be a fun time. I am so looking forward to it.
And so it goes.
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To say that the past year has been a year of transition for you is a gross understatement. If you will allow the theological terms, it has surely been a death and a resurrection.
ReplyDeleteI share your outlook on New Years. I've been to very few New Years Eve parties in my life and enjoyed none of them. It is a rarity for me to be up past 9 or 10 that evening. Other than my beloved sauerkraut, pork, and dumplings, once my childhood fascination with the Rose Parade passed and once out of a house in which watch sports is obligatory, New Year's Day became just another day - albeit a day to start collecting data for doing taxes.
WOW! Did all that happen in one year? Seems a hell of a lot longer than that. Financial issues aside, you are in a much better place than last year at this time. As you say – one foot in front of the other – but, God, that can’t be easy going.
ReplyDeleteHere’s to 2009!
THC
I hope 2009 is not only a better year, but it opens a new chapter, something wonderful that can only occur after the loss of so much.
ReplyDeleteYou have endured much my friend and you have survived. You have found that you now have more with less. You don't need all those trappings for a full and satisfying life. Things are just that, "things." Friendship is what really matters. You have that, you've never lost it. Tomorrow night there will be FOUR of your friends joining you for a taste of beef. Paul and Jack will also be there to join us in an evening of pre New Year's revelry of camaraderie with OLD friends. Warning, I plan to have TWO apple martini's to mark the occasion. Fasten your seatbelts.
ReplyDeleteWayne, looking forward is the only thing you can do now. I hope a better future and life will start now, why wait till 2009!
ReplyDeleteit's a crying shame we can't shoot our exes, you know, like for sport! in 2009, we're gonna shine, keep your head up!!
ReplyDelete