Turgid Thursday

Perusing the headlines this morning from around the country, I had to chuckle and shake my head. The photos looked more like refugees fleeing the Nazis, or citizen stampede at ancient Roman festivals, than an American celebration of Thanksgiving.

"Never Again."

"A Nightmare!"

"Fights Break Out"

"No One Expected This"

"Store Security Overwhelmed"

"Merchandise Trampled, Destroyed"

"Inside Macy's Flagship on Thanksgiving Completely Insane"

(That last headline is by far the longest and deserves an award of its own.)

Main entrance is at the very back of this long line.

This is beyond all words.

Just one look at these pictures and you'll understand why that headline was so true. (Oh, and let me know if you spot anyone wearing even the hint of a smile, will you.) Store's like Macy's, real department stores, were designed for leisure shopping, intimate one-on-one communication with knowledgable  sales staff. Elegant displays grace small tables on end-aisles containing special, or featured items.They employ hundreds of sales personnel who, though not holding the "personal shopper" title, tend to do just that. Personal care was a Macy's hallmark. These stores were NOT designed for trampling hordes, at least not all at once.  Essentially, the civilized shopper.

The big box, and warehouse stores were laid out differently to attract the maximum traffic to a given area.  Rather than browsing and true shopping, they were designed for  grabbing, pole-vaulting, snatching, grenade-throwing, urban warfare. Frenzied monsters clutching a sale flyer who know what they're after and can spot their prey thanks to huge displays reaching to the ceiling. They will climb over dead bodies to get to them. Displays that will be decimated in less time than it takes to jingle a single holiday bell.

"Greed is good," and "I've got mine pal, f**k you" roll off the tongue like honey tinged with acid.

As many who lived in New York, I had the pleasure of working a single Christmas at Macy's and it turned out to be one of the grandest holiday seasons of my life. Unlike David Sedaris (I wasn't an elf), I worked in 3 different departments as needed and with the old-time dedicated staff who made Macy's - and other grande dame stores - the shopping experience to remember. 

At Christmas in the stock rooms and staff lounge there was food everywhere.  In the final days, the 23rd. and 24th, one might even be privy to a bit of spiked eggnog or bubbly in those same stock rooms.  

I was young, made oodles of money (there were tips involved for helpful helpers; assisting customers with their purchases to waiting cars or taxis, etc.), met some wonderful New York characters and had the time of my life. 

Back then, a Macy's Charge Card, (not a credit card - a story for another time - and long before MC or Visa) was like money in the bank. An outstanding credit history was necessary before one was issued in your name.  But when it was, the perks of a bona fide Macy's shopper kicked in and you were set for all manner of specials throughout the year.  For many years I was one of them.

These images make me sad.  So few people will ever experience what real holiday shopping was all about.  All they will know is written in the headlines above. And that is a tragic loss. 

The next door tenants noisily took to their cars last night around 11 pm, waking me from a deep sleep. They have just now returned at 5:45 am making even more noise as they rattle, giggle, tussle, and clomp up and down the stairs.  I guess their spree was  successful and no blood was spilt. .  They all sounded in high spirits - and a bit drunk.  Oh, don't get me started on that issue, too.

I need some cheering up.  A cup of eggnog and a little P.D. Q. Bach's "Throw the Yule Log on Uncle John!" (without punctuation) will fill the bill nicely.  

Cheers, and you're welcome!

And so it goes.

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