Who Knows Where Time Goes

I’m not quite sure if I made it through the weekend on my own or if I’ve been extruded through a very narrow hose. My mind has raced every idle waking moment causing great distress showing memories from the past; images from childhood. Sleeping wasn't much more comforting.

My dreams have been most bizarre.  Usually vivid, they are now unfocussed, out of time, and though people are desperately trying to tell me something, I cannot hear them or make out what they’re trying to say.  Frustrating to the point that I wake to chills and distressed groans. Like I’m missing something important. This has been going on for a while now, so it's not the painkillers talking. If you get my drift.

I spiked a fever at one point, a fever high enough to cause my lips to turn brown and chap up like they were sunburned. They peeled most of saturday and by last night all was back to normal. Very bizarre.

At this point, what does it matter.  It’s Monday and I still have breath, am mobile to some degree, and though I slept most of the weekend away,  taking  care of the most important items on my gay agenda: caring for the wound (which is healing more slowly than I’d like) and taking the meds on time. This place is a veritable time tunnel with 3 timers going at all hours. May sound ridiculous, but I forget easily anymore and the reminders help a lot. Other than that, it was reading or sleeping.  Not caring about anything or anyone else in the world. 

That said, the sister is due to be sprung from the hospital sometime this week. Don’t remember much of the conversation with my niece, but I gather they’re waiting for certain medical obstacles to fall out of the way before they will release her to terrorize the rest of the city. 

I only spoke with the niece, since my quasi-coherent state may have upset the sister. Yes.  I admit it.  Painkillers!  Pure unadulterated painkillers - and I needed them badly. 

No real food, though that would have been nice. Having ingested enough soup and green tea to float Fire Island, I tried my hand at cooking a real meal yesterday afternoon. I had some fresh Choriso which I sliced into small chunks and smothered with baby fingerling potatoes and sweet onions with a little olive oil, Rosemary, and basil. 

Smelled great while cooking but by the time it was done, so was I. There was just no energy left and certainly no appetite for a real meal. I let it cool and put it in the refrigerator for the night.  Probably taste better after sitting in the juices, anyway.  I’ll try eating it again today and see what happens.

Instead, I had a yogurt, slice of melon, and Ensure before slipping back under the covers until the timer went off at 4 am for the first med of the day. 

Today is another day.  Why, thank you Scarlet! 

I will do my best to be up, present, and about as much as possible this Monday. Lack of proper exercise, even just a short walk, isn’t good for the heart - not to mention the rest of the body and mind. 

And so it goes.

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