The Ultimate, Supreme, Ultimatum Kind of Day

After yesterday’s two units, four injections, three tiny tablets, and a single gel cap, it’s a wonder I had any kind of appetite left last night.  

Translation: That was 2 units of fresh blood, 1 injection of Benadryl, 1 of Lasix, 3 tiny tabs of an unpronounceable anti-nausea med, 1 gel-cap of potassium, and 2 injections of the Chemo.  I think that was the ultimate out-patient experience one could have in a single day. I was totally exhausted…

But, I did have an appetite. I had enough energy to create a stir-fry beef with veggies after the long day at the Center.  It was quite good, considering the fewer tastebuds at my disposal.

Got a call from the Locosguys last night to say how much they miss me.  Eight or nine co-workers grabbed the phone just to yell  “Hello, I miss you”.  Then a few customers got into the act, too. And, you know, as strange as it may sound, I  recognized their individual voices. I guess that’s telling about how much I miss not being there. The call had the usual effect of alternately lifting my spirits and sending me into a mild depression. OK, I’ll take both, then. Better than feeling nothing at all.

On today’s gay agenda, it was day-three for the twin Chemo injections (did you follow that?), and a shot each of Potassium and Lasix. The combination seems to be bringing down the swelling in the feet and ankles, albeit slower than I’d hoped.

The soreness and pain I felt initially is gone, (only the swelling remains) and I had wanted to take my morning walk, but the rains put a damper (ouch! sorry.) on that idea. I could swear those walks help, not aggravate the situation because I always feel better afterwards.  Oh well, maybe tomorrow. 

It was ultimately decided by the Oncologist and nursing staff that the Port-a-Cath has to go. It’s not healing and the rim is about to poke through the top layer of skin. It cannot be used for labs or infusion - the very reasons it was implanted.  So, I called the surgeon to check schedules and when she can do the

deed.  The sooner the better, from what they tell me at the Center.  However, she’s in surgery all day today, so I may not hear anything until tomorrow.

Hurry up - and wait!  Hurry up - and wait…I’m getting pretty good at this.  Think Pavlov’s dog.

A curious message from the local book store owner sent me there on the way home this afternoon.  He’d received a recently published book on Tarot, specifically the symbolism of the Rider Waite Deck. so I went to check it out.  

Titled “The Ultimate Guide to the Rider Waite Tarot” Published a few years ago in Germany, this is the first American printing. Printed on high gloss fine paper with very handsome card reproductions, it was a surprise.

The book offers in-depth explanations of each card’s tableau, as well as details for each card’s basic meaning as: spiritual experience, card of the day, prognosis, love & relationships, success & happiness. And yes, I bought it. 

And, I have a great excuse for the purchase. It will be intensive reading while in bed for hours with my feet elevated to reduce the swelling.  How’s that?  Well, that’s my story and I am sticking to it.  Though in truth, that is where I can be found most of the time. Damn it!

A Stir-fry is on the menu (again) tonight.  Shrimp this time. Light, quick protein and veggies.  Yes!  I need it. Wish I didn't have to prepare it, but I am hungry.  Always a good thing.

Uh-oh! The new hat has just arrived via Fed-Ex. I am afraid to open the package.  Maybe tomorrow I'll muster up the courage to open it.  But, no promises on that.  It depends on how sunny the day will be.  And all that.  If it's sunny and I need it for a walk, I guess I'll have to go with it, won't I?

Oh, for pete's sake.  It's a hat.  Take it out, wear it, enjoy it. It is who I am now. It is what it is.  I must keep repeating this to myself over and over, until I believe it and totally buy into it.  May take a while.

And so it goes.

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