Positive and Prolific

This post is going to roll around a bit, but stay with me. 

A few commenters have noted that my writing has been prolific lately.  I guess that’s true. I’ve been writing just about every day for a few weeks now. Dunno why. There’s not much else to do, besides read and sleep, and work through stress.

I feel the need to be connected, I suppose. To put something out there about life, my life specifically. With the previous life a distant memory, to focus on this one important fact that today is 24 hours long, but NOW is a brief moment. And easily wasted; too easily wasted.

To write about the cancer and the experiences with the medical establishment. For a long time it was  referred to as my “illness” until I decided to own it and call it what it is. That, in itself, was quite liberating. Being another person dealing with cancer, if I write something that’s helpful to someone else, that’s great. The important thing is to know you’re not alone. Others are in the same dog fight. 

It’s difficult to concentrate on yourself when external forces are pushing and pulling you - body and mind - in all directions. (One can’t spend 25 of 31 days at one medical facility or another and not be spinning on the edge. Well, I can’t, anyway) Eventually things calm down and there is time to get centered and take a look back. Regroup and move on.

The same goes for posting the photos. TBT is a way of putting the visuals of my life together. The last 4 decades of it, anyway. Places I’ve been, they are the proof I was here. I want them out there because when I go, there is no one to recollect that I was ever here. No trace of my life, work, or body. 

Old friends, the witnesses to my life are all gone. What I wouldn’t give to have an old friend tell a truly embarrassing story from my younger days. That won’t happen. And I’m sure I’ve forgotten the really good ones, anyway. 

My blog family is here now as witness, in place of the lost friends. So what if they're late to the party! They surround me and lift my spirits, make me laugh, make me think.   That does my heart good.

Life goes on, though what I’m mimicking isn’t life really, it’s existing, working and hoping for a better, healthier tomorrow. That’s what keeps me going.  It’s not always easy; sometimes giving up seems the most logical and least painful way to go. But, I just can’t do that.  Not yet.

I may not be either prolific or positive at times, but I'll do my best.

Chalk this one up to post-chemo brain fog.

And so it goes.

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