Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Furniture: Assembly Required, My A**

I am not the best do-it-yourself'er, and my thumbs don't work properly, (Arthritis) but one has to do what one has to do. Almost nothing for the home comes completely assembled anymore and I have had the worst luck with putting all the bits and pieces together following instructions translated from Chinese, or maybe Pig Latin, not sure.

Anyway, the only thing that's come with all parts (and none damaged) is an office chair from Staples that actually contained extra hardware. Everything else has been missing hardware, or contained parts damaged in production. Or, didn't belong in the package. Am I lucky, or what? Huh?

Most recently I purchased 2 storage shelving pieces for the bathroom. After struggling with the smaller one it turns out that the package was missing 2 screws and a stabilizing bar.  Shot off an email to the company, who begs you (in the instruction packet) not to return the product because they will take care of any missing or damaged parts. Maybe that should be printed on the outside of the box, (probably why is isn't) because when I read that bells went off in my head. They don't want to deal with returned, damaged merchandise, either.  No fools they.  Whatever. The bits for that one are on their way - will arrive in 5 to 7 working days. The half-assembled shelf sits in the corner of the bedroom like the carcass of a large bird.

OK, then yesterday, I set about removing the parts for the larger standing rack and shelf thingy, checking their quantity against the parts list in the instructions.  Great!  All present and accounted for. So begins the assembly process - word by word, picture by picture.  All was going well until assembly on the top half where I realize that one tube would not accept the other tapered one. Then, same problem on the other side. Both top back tubes are defective due to screw holes drilled improperly leaving behind the chunks of metal semi-attached to the inside of the tubes, blocking any effort to match hole to hole.  (I hope I'm explaining this correctly.)

Another email goes to the company (same company) and the response received last evening says that they are sorry for any inconvenience and will happily replace the defective parts - In 7 to 10 working days!!!


Zenith is the company and their products are available in better stores everywhere and are well reviewed by previous customers. Initially found at JC Penney's site, but shipping charges were way too high. I found these locally at the same price, without having to pay for shipping. Well, it could have been worse.

So anyway, there is a huge hulking carcass lying on the otherwise empty living room floor where it will remain for 2 or 3 weeks. I guess there is a good reason I don't have any furniture in there. I'm grateful there are no pictures of this little episode in my life.

My hands hurt and there is no finished project to show for the effort or additional pain. Well, I'm just going to forget about all this and get ready for work.  Looks like it may rain today, and we can use it. So, I may just be 'singin' in the rain' to or from work.  Sounds like fun to me. Yes, I am easily entertained.

More later.
*

5 comments:

  1. This is exactly why I buy most of my things used off of Craigslist. It's already assembled.
    Take your umbrella!
    Your Friend, m.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you, thank you thank you. I thought I was the only one. My wife thinks that too. She must read this. My life experiences in a nutshell.

    greasy knoll

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are not alone in your Adventures in Assembling. I hate it. I usually turn over that project to Bill. But lately he's becoming discouraged too with the missing or damaged parts. Apparently quality control is a quaint procedure of our past before downsizing and out placing entered our lives.

    Remember the days when you purchased a pack of cigarettes (oh yes, you smoked too like the rest of us) from a cigarette machine? You couldn't put pennies in the machine and instead you put 35 cents in and got a pack of cigaretts out with three pennies inside the cellophane? Remember those days? Funny right?

    We are not in the world that our mothers and fathers lived. We are in a world where the corporation screws everybody and then some. In a way I'm glad I'm at the end of my life because this isn't going to get any better. We are fucked.

    I don't sound too cynical do I?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Isn't it amazing how many parts there are in an unassembled piece of furniture? My favorite ones are when the part looks nothing like the diagram. Fun stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  5. We should all get together and form a chorus! :-D

    It is clear to me that none of the engineers/designers/instruction-writers *EVER* assemble or use their own products. If they did, they would know what crap they have created.

    You are lucky, it appears that the company is willing to make things right. That's not always the case.

    ReplyDelete

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If they are simply a tirade or opinionated bullshit, they will be removed, so don't waste your time, or mine.

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