Home, Hospice, More Updates and Revisionist History

There are these little tidbits I’d like to share, or at least pass along. Warning: May be long for some readers.

My apologies for not answering comments or reading the blogs of others, but dope and high fevers will do that to you, if you get my drift. It didn’t seem that my comments were required at the time. As time goes on and my life (hopefully) begins to stabilize I can find a remedy for that omission.

Just as the Flu was making like Sherman in its relentless march through my body to the sea, two new things popped up (no pun intended); glands in my neck and throat began to swell to the size of large duck eggs. Suddenly I couldn’t move my mouth and the jaws wouldn’t cooperate. The mouth felt as if I were chewing on razor blades, all tiny cuts therein, so sipping anything other than water was a no-no. Another IV antibiotic was called in for that one - took 5 days before jaws would move so I could eat solid foods again.

I lived on water, Ensure, Magic Cup, and ice cream. Even cooked fruit caused the glands to react and stung my mouth like hell.

As the neck glandular swelling receded a new pain and swelling in my groin appeared. Ultrasounds, and x-rays later discovered that I have a hernia - again swells to the size of an egg. Have to wear a special belt whenever I am sitting or standing.  The egg disappears into the intestines when lying down and there is no pain. Tempting, but I can’t allow myself to buy into that scenario. I need to regain my strength. 

The Site Meter visit counter died suddenly last December and the replacement is one of those free things that counts every hit, not only  the extended visits.  So, just know that I am not so popular as it may appear.  But you knew that already.

I have to work on the info for the Funeral Home (payment in advance, no kidding) for the what will be done with my remains and the info for the death certificate as well as any obituary I may want to have published.  Yes, all paid for in advance. I guess to prove in some bizarre way that I am not play-acting and this is the real thing.

And speaking of Obituaries - or as in this funny but sad case a pre-obituary - there is THIS revision of history I stumbled upon this morning and haven’t decided just how sick, sad, poorly thought out and written, and over the top it really is. I’ve never read a pseudo-obituary. That said, especially where the writer gives themselves more ink than the supposed subject of the piece. This from a person who lives in the past, loves to play the put-upon misunderstood martyr in all situations. 

In any event, he becomes the larger-than-life martyr with each retelling of this tale (it’s been reincarnated a few times on his blog) because well, it’s all about him, after all. I guess I ought to be angry, but at this stage what’s the point. That would take more energy than being sad for the man, which is more than he deserves. 

At this time when my health is fragile I prefer people in my life who love, respect, and care about me. Unfortunately, this person isn’t one of them. 

Anyone involved in the retelling of this sordid, long-forgotten anecdote (supposedly about the subject of the obit although any connection is a vague stretch, indeed) is either long gone or have long ago forgotten the original childish situation.

Anyway, it could be your laugh of the day.  Your choice.

My walking stick has arrived just in time for my release from hospital. The one I really had my eye on was made in Ireland out of traditional Black Thorn, was a bit expensive and would take 4 to 6 weeks before being dispatched. Of course, I couldn't wait that long, so this one will do me well. In three sections it is quite sturdy and a full 55’ tall when screwed together. It comes with a canvas bag and collapses to 18” sections.  I love the thing. As I said in an earlier post, I didn’t want a traditional cane, but rather a hiking/walking stick for more stability and security. And here it is.

Meals on Wheels will be set up tomorrow or next day helping to provide 1 to 3 meals daily, and the weather is supposed to warm up by week’s end. After being in a germ-infested, temperature-controlled environment for so long it’s taking me a while to get used to real fresh air and the cold temperatures. Truth be told, it’s in the 40s but very cold to my tired emaciated old body.

Every hour I push myself a little harder, a little farther from my comfortable cocoon to do more for myself once again. That under the care of Hospice I get to self medicate is a luxury beyond measure. No more having to wait an additional 3 hours before the hospital computer tells me I can have pain med is a boon to me and all mankind. I don't abuse the privilege, but it's nice to know it's there. 

I just read that Hospice will provide Oxygen if needed, as well as one of those emergency medical alert systems (like that annoying “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” thing) so I’ll find out more in the coming week as I get settled in to this new living situation.

Just as I wrote that last bit a phone call came in from Hospice - it was a daily check-in to find out if all was well or if anything was needed. 

The fact that I need someone to shave my head (after 2 months it’s very scary) was not included in their offer of aid.  The last time I shaved was before the shoulder dislocation, when I was able to lift my arm above my head…not any more. I’ll have to figure out something else, is all.

Hell, I’m amazed I’m still here and back at my own place, for however long I’ve got.

If all goes well and my strength improves I will be having a lunch of Fish and Chips with a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale with Linda and Jeffrey tomorrow. To say I’m looking forward to the outing would be an understatement. 

“Do what’s necessary, then do what’s possible, and suddenly you find you’re doing the impossible.” Anonymous

Still Amazed.

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Apartment Search Continues

I came upon a listing for a rental nearby on the ground level with off-street parking.  As I’ve mentioned before, it’s slim pickings out there. Only a few things wrong with it. Rent is more than I can afford, even if only $25. more. It is a 2-bedroom mobile home, I only need one bedroom. That’s quite a large space to heat with the winter ahead and I don’t know how well insulated the place is. With the compromised immune system, sensitivity to heat and cold is more pronounced. 

The other monthly expenses include water, sewer, and trash pickup. I already pay for electricity so that’s not an extra burden in itself, unless the heating system in the place is also electric. Then it could be a killer.  I know.  From the published image above the place looks clean and neat, well kept.  Yes, but at what expense?

The other issues include snow and ice removal - can’t do that myself - and the Verizon telephone and DSL wiring infrastructure is very old, so I may not have high speed access to the Net. This was a problem when I lived in that area about 6 years ago.  When it rained, snowed, or flooded the phone lines went down - sometimes for days until things dried out and techs could work on restoring service.

At any rate, I’ve called and left a message requesting the approximate cost of each of the added expenses above. I have little hope that everything will be within my budget. Even less hope that I’ll find something affordable and livable any time soon. My hope is to continue to gain strength and weight, get through the dizziness balance issues, navigate the stairs more than once rail, and drive my own car again. 

I am amazed.

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Awake

Arrived. 

Late afternoon.

At the old apartment.  don’t ask.

Weak, elated, overwhelmed confused.

Walking in the open a startling contrast to walking hallways. 

New Meds to supersede old Meds.  No energy to sort it out then.

Clean apartment.  Clean, fresh sheets.

Cold and bewildered. Very weak.

Had a cup of soup and was put to bed.

Glorious sleep.

Awake now. Time to unpack, regroup and reassess.
Only just realized that the clocks weren't turned back one hour. Bother!

Too early for such activity. Rest more.

So much to write about. Get thoughts organized first.

I am still here. 

Amazing.

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Life and Death are Simply Wearing Me Out!

Things on the apartment search are moving quickly, too quickly to keep up with. Two of the

apartments found on Craigslist have already been taken, am waiting to hear about 2 others. Learned that moving in with someone with pets would be borderline acceptable.  No cats, birds, ferrets, etc.  Only dogs that are primarily indoor pets, are clean, will stay off my bed, etc., will be considered

Another evaluation by the PT folks today, one more tomorrow, and now they’re talking about allowing me to return to my 2nd. floor apartment temporarily as I continue to search for one on the ground level.

The catch is that I’d be allowed up and down the stairs once daily and my occupational therapy would be limited.  Though in what ways I do not know.

My case manager is doing her damnedest to keep me in the medicaid link so that I am eligible for additional long term home health aid. She spent half her day on the phone on my behalf today.  Every time I see her my personal file, usually tucked under her arm, gets thicker and thicker. 

Medicaid sent a 1/4 inch thick survey/questionnaire to Linda that she was supposed to complete and return before this weekend. Problem is that she has no access to most of the requested documents while most of other info seems to have nothing to do with her role as my POA.  Gave it all to the Case Manager, Suzanne today. She didn’t bat an eyelash. I would have been bonkers in that situation. 

If I am released from here soon, the first thing on my gay agenda is updating, sorting, and reformatting all the medical documents, then put them all in one easy-to-reach place for quick access. 

The second thing is to prepare the paperwork to make Linda the Executor of my estate. I thought that was one of the documents we took care of 3 weeks ago, but that wasn’t the case. POA ends when my life does.  Clearly, that’s not good enough.

Gather more data about assisted living opportunities and their costs.  Seems this is one of those loose ended gambits that varies from state to state, usually with the person needing assisted living getting virtually fucked (and not in a nice way) due to loopholes and financial shell games.

A new Cell Phone Carrier.  If this current experience has shown me anything it’s that good cell coverage is important in critical situations like this. I need a more reliable carrier and I find that Verizon is the best around.   Though their level of suckitude is beyond measure, they do have to most reliable network around here. Granted, I’ll be paying over half again what I’m paying now, but what I am paying didn’t produce a signal or wifi for texting. Time to bite the bullet.

Probably the most pressing issue about being back in my own space is the inability to clean, do laundry, mop, dust, scrub, change sheets, etc., on my own. I know it will be almost impossible now, but Linda has told me not to worry. If the Home Health person doesn’t do it, she will see that it gets done, somehow.

Having been laid up for a month I have no idea what I can and cannot do for myself anymore or how much stamina I will have when sprung initially.  Still, Linda says I am not to worry.  So I won’t worry. Well, maybe just a little.

There were two huge dark chocolate bars waiting for me when I woke up this morning. No note or card. Just one 60% cacao and the other 85% - 100 grams each.The have to be from one of the nurses, but from the night crew from last evening or someone from the day crew today. And, no one will tell me.

I’ll find out sooner or later - or not. Meanwhile I will enjoy the chocolate and thank the Universe that such a kind person thought of me.

And so it goes.

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From the Edge of My Bed...

The past several days have been a painful haze. I don’t even remember publishing yesterday’s post. 

I’ve been flirting with fevers of up to 105 (highest is 104.6 so far)  but for some reason last night, my body threatened to drown me as the fever finally lost it’s battle for supremacy - where I was at 103.5 at one instant then 99.1 a few minutes later. 

Taking deep, full, breaths was suddenly very painful and I didn’t know where I was or what was happening to me.  Turns out I am still in the same room, same hospital, a 3-day fever finally broke, and there was increased activity all around me.

Turns out I have a darling case of Pneumonia and there is a lump of something in my right lung - lower lobe.  Haven’t eaten in 3 days - only ensure, sherbet, and ice cream - so I’m pretty weak.  

The battle of the fevers is caused by the tumor fevers and the pneumonia fevers - and I am stuck in the middle.  No fair!

Temperature remains 99.F and I am scheduled for a Barium Milkshake this morning in an effort to find out where that lump has come from.  This means, of course, that my first hours feeling well enough to eat food is denied me until after the test. So, what’s a few more hours?

Linda is in Ireland today. Before leaving yesterday, she stopped by bringing me fresh clean underwear and a few snacks I hope to enjoy later today. She talked about emptying my apartment, since I won’t ever live there again, told me of possible living spaces she has feelers out for and even though I was still in a fever fog, before leaving for the airport I know she sat next to me on the bed, held my hand, looked me straight in the eye and said, “I Love You Wayne!”

We’ve never used such language in the past, but she said it, meant it, even kissed me on the cheek before heading out the door. Touched, stunned, surprised, disbelieving, and so many more feeling welled up inside of me. I curled up and cried like a newborn babe.  I felt empty and full at the same time Hard to describe in this drug induced state. I’ve never heard those words spoken in quite that way in my life.

Anyway, it’s 4 am, on Thursday morning EDT and I am actually sitting on the side of my bed feeling strong enough to write at least a little of what’s been a nightmare here. 

Doors are closing rapidly, but others are opening very slowly, if at all. I hope for more positive change by the weekend.  Time will tell.

I’l try to get to email and check out comments as I feel well enough.  I never thought just the act of checking email would be so consuming and overwhelming.  But it is, Blanche,  It is!

I’ll trying being more consistent in writing, but make no promises. I’m tired already and 4 hours still remain before the test and the possibility of food after that.

And so it goes.

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Domestic Caturday

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Black and Blue

Thanks to the Universe this second round of Chemo is over. My body has 3 weeks to heal from the punctures, rashes, soreness, and bruising. (At least the bruises are hidden under clothes.) The side effects were more intense this second go-round than the first, so I gather the next 2 rounds will be about the same, or more intense, bruising and pain-wise. Made me think of Louis Armstrong’s cover of the Fats Waller tune from the 1920s: 

"Black & Blue"
Cold empty bed, springs hard as lead
Feels like ol' Ned wished I was dead
What did I do to be so black and blue
Even the mouse ran from my house
They laugh at you and scorn you too
What did I do to be so black and blue
I'm white inside but that don't help my case
'Cause I can't hide what is in my face
How would it end, ain't got a friend
My only sin is on my skin
What did I do to be so black and blue
How would it end, ain't got a friend
My only sin is in my skin
What did I do to be so black and blue

Never mind.  I’ll take that as it comes. Right now I want to focus on the 3 weeks of healing and enjoying what’s left of the summer season. 

Speaking of the season, in my next life I want to be a weather-predictor person. So far, this season’s local and regional predictions have been way off - less than 10% accurate.  I want a job where I can be right 10% of the time and still draw a nice, fat paycheck.

If you followed the forecasts for this area, you would know what I mean.  Expected highs for the past 8 days were to be around 85’F.  In reality, we’ve hit the upper 90s every day with ultra-high humidity.  That makes breathing for someone with my illness very difficult, indeed.

We all know that in July a severe thunderstorm can appear out of nowhere at any time, so why even bother to predict when and where they will occur? But, they do.  The severe storms predicted for all day yesterday (and scaring the hospital staff half to death - don’t ask, I don’t know why.) didn’t materialize until around 8 o’clock last night.  And, they certainly made up for lost time. I even lost electric power momentarily.

The heavy rain continues off and on although the forecast calls for a 10% chance.  Sigh!

I actually slept through til 4 a.m. today. Wonderful! It’s nice having no hospital or Cancer Center appointments for the rest of the week. I look forward to a bit of outdoor activity as soon as the sun show its smiling face.

And so it goes.

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Homecoming Caturday

Kittehs do it, too.

I have something in my eyes.

More later.
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Warning: He’s in the Kitchen, Again!

OK, so I went into a cooking frenzy. (May it turn into a feeding frenzy.) It

proved to be good therapy, and more fun than lying in bed reading all day.  Besides, I wanted to tempt my slowly blossoming appetite with dishes that appeal to my dwindling taste buds at the moment.

JIC, I'd get caught short of needed ingredients, I checked the lists before heading out the door for the injection appointment yesterday morning. Everything was in the house - I was ready to roll.

First up was a “Kitchen Sink Baked Ziti” with bulk Italian sausage, mushrooms, black olives, sliced garlic, and spinach. Took an hour to prepare and another 1.5 hours to bake. The finished product weighed in at over 6 pounds.  Yes, there will be lots of leftovers, but it’s worth it. 

That said, I am careful with leftovers due to my limited senses of smell and taste. If not consumed, things usually get tossed after 3 days in the refrig. Can’t take chances eating foods that are a little off.  This is why I rarely cook in large batches that can’t be frozen - like stews and thick soups. There’s no one to eat it before it goes bad.  This was an exception that I’m happy I made.  (This was not to be Saturday evening's supper, it needs to rest overnight, then be reheated to bring out all the flavors.)

Boiled artichokes for salad came next while the Ziti was baking. The whole heads are now marinating in the refrigerator for the next day or two. A little salt, white pepper, slivered garlic, olive oil and vinegar will suit me just fine. Refreshing for a hot summer day, too. My grandmother used to make this dish and it’s one of those all-time great standby dishes that brings back happy childhood memories. 

I decided I needed something sweet and chocolatey, so I made up a batch of Mocha Walnut Brownies. Using fresh coffee for the liquid base instead of water or milk. Again, the pan weighed a ton and took hours to cool before ready to be sliced and served. 

Supper was seasoned, broiled, boneless thighs with roasted new potatoes with rosemary, and brussel sprouts.  After which, I thoroughly enjoyed one of the now-cooled brownies.  Heavy, yes, but oh so worth the day’s efforts.

I don’t know where all the energy came from, but I’m happier for having it and putting it to good use. The apartment always smells better when something is cooking - more like a real home.  At least to me.

I am looking forward to a Ziti supper tonight with garlic bread and a glass of wine. (What? no Whiskey Sour?) Um, No!

And so it goes.

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The (not-so) Big Sleep

Another episode of “As The Stomach Turns at General Hospital in Happy Valley” is coming to an end.  I hope there was enough pop corn to go round. 

Lab results were dismal yesterday morning, so I had to return 3 hours later for a 2-unit infusion session. There is always a delay supplying my specific blood product because of some bizarre antibodies that are necessary, for some reason. That’s why I usually have blood drawn on Thursday, then return on Friday if transfusing is necessary. 

Well, my CBC numbers were in the toy-toy yesterday and I could’t wait another 24 hours.  To make matters worse, the blood pressure was too low and the temperature was too high at various stages in the infusion process.  Nothing they tried seemed to have any effect on either condition. Since I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary (Ha! Ha! I laugh in your general direction.) they continued with the procedures - monitoring me carefully. 

When all was said and done, I spent 10 hours at the Center. I was taught how to care for the port to avoid infection, and learned a few tricks to use for the new POWER PAC which, BTW, was accessed for the first time as well. 

It was painful since the surgery was less than 48 hours before and the area was still raw and purple, but once the blood started flowing, I was able to relax.  No more pin cushion…Yay!

A prescription for a local anesthetic (for the port area) was called in, but when I left for home at 6 pm last night I was in no condition to deal with pharmacy staff. Aside from not speaking English well, they lack a certain je ne sais quoi, if you get my drift.  I wanted home and bed, and couldn’t get here fast enough. No appetite, so no dinner. I was too shaky and exhausted to even think of forcing myself to do one more thing.  Went to bed and slept through til 4 am today. 

Made a coffee, enjoyed a hunk of melon and set about changing the surgical dressing.  As I said, hard to do in a mirror, but it’s done, port is clean, if a little raw-looking on the edges. I am leaving it uncovered, watching closely for leakage, so it will heal faster (The Triage nurse’s suggestion). 

The prescription can wait another day or two. So, I have nowhere to go today. Downloaded a couple of new books, and since we’re due for heavy rains all day I will drift in and out of consciousness as I feel necessary.  Even my card of the day offers some good news and hope.  May it be so.

And so it goes.

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NOTE: Thanks for all the comments and well wishes. They do my old heart good and give me hope to keep hanging on. I feel blessed by your caring thoughts.

I will attempt to answer a few comments in the next post or two. It will be so much easier than hunting down each individual comment in the comments section of those posts.  I'll be a accurate as possible.

Blood, Banter, and Pratfalls.

An exceedingly unattractive knot is swelling on the back of my head.  No, I doubt I've been possessed by Body Snatchers; I slid on the ice and fell flat on my back with my head crashing into the concrete. Not at all amusing, trust me. I have a hard head, but this is throbbing though there is no broken skin.

Was returning from another long day of transfusions and over-all medical runarounds when it happened. It was getting dark and I didn't watch my step carefully enough - obviously.

It's been a rough day from the get-go. Though I cleaned off the car yesterday in preparation for today's appointments, a snow plow came through last night and half plowed the car in place. Fortunately, the snow was still light so I was able to move enough out of the way to get onto the roadway without getting stuck.

At the infusion center I was to receive 2 units of blood and told one was already to go.  Two hours later - still no blood product.  Seems the hospital wouldn't release the single unit until the second was tested and verified.  First unit started at 12:30 and the second at 3 o'clock.  

For the first time in months I spiked a high fever during the second unit, thought the game was over, shot to hell and I'd end up in the hospital.  That didn't happen,  tenks-be-to-gott.  They worked around it, pumped me with Benadryl and Lasix; the temperature was down in less than 15 minutes.  By the time I got to the car, drove home - fell - and finally got into the apartment at 6, I was totally exhausted.

Throughout the day there is some ugly underlying mishugas going on between the Cancer Center and the office of the Specialist at Hopkins, over the fact that I don't have "private" insurance. I think we all know what that means, right class?

The hospital patient advocate (who checks on me periodically) took over and made a few phone calls.  I asked her not to, but she insisted. My feeling is that if they don't want me because of the private insurance issue, they will probably not treat me well in the long run.  Hey!  I've seen this scenario played out before and know it can, and does happen. There was no status change by this evening, but they'll keep me posted as things progress - or not.  

Meanwhile a disc containing results of all the relevant tests of the past 6 months was provided to take with me where-ever I go next.  All is up in the air. Nothing new.

My back, butt, head and elbows hurt and I have no appetite to speak of, so I'm going to bed. Planning on a good breakfast in the morning.  We'll see.

And so it goes.

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Snowplacelikehome? Snowpocalypse?

No.  It's only January. 

The Cancer Center moved my appointments from Thursday to Tuesday morning, JIC things went to Hell.  They did! Worried expressions of a staff clearly fearing the worst was to come - the end of the world - were everywhere. Even the bustling and nervous conversations were a little unsettling. The rumors of accumulation varied from 4 inches up to 14 inches. OK, maybe inland, but not here at the shore.

Labs were drawn at 8 am, and though my Dr's appointment was set for 8:45, because of the expected "State of Emergency" to be issued by the governor, many staff had to make arrangements for their school-age kids. The appointment didn't happen until 9:30 and the edginess was palpable during the entire time. 

Meanwhile I got a text from a friend asking if I needed any supplies before the storm.  He was heading out for a few things and thought about me.  I texted back explaining where I was and that I was pretty sure I was well supplied for the duration. A kind and thoughtful gesture on his part, to be sure. 

The appointment seemed a distraction for the doctor and nurses. I have serious doubts that anything talked about, (i.e. the Hopkins Specialist, the JAK-2 Study, and the Chemo treatment) will ever be acted upon, so I will follow up when this is over. I was grateful to get out of there and head back home - overjoyed that no transfusion was necessary this day.

The storm was due to begin its dumping by around 10 am, it was almost 11 am, so snarled traffic was at a peak as I got back on the road. Car parks at the supermarkets were full and drivers already on the road were on cell phones for whatever reason.  As if they need one.

I needed nothing.  Tried to find off-road parking, but was too late. Have to take my chances at being plowed in if the snow is that deep. It is what it is.

Snow didn't begin falling until mid-afternoon, with sharp, fine flakes and not much had fallen by sundown.  The real magic happened overnight. I was awakened a few times by howling winds. Thankfully, we didn't lose electric power. So far…

The weather radio has just informed me that the storm warning has been lifted, but the state of emergency remains in effect until sometime later. The high wind warning is also in effect - with gusts up to 30 mph. Temps are in the teens at the shore and twenties inland. In the pre-dawn light it looks like I have about 6 inches of powder on everything. Of course that will change as the snow blows and drifts throughout the day.

And that's the news from your friendly frozen fruit here in the mid-Atlantic region of the country. I hope things are better where you are and that you are warm and toasty.

And so it goes.

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There Are Good Days We Hardly Notice.

This was not one. 

Today held an interesting surprise!  More than one, actually - and, as usual it was the little things.  

First off, I had no idea it was so cold outdoors. Never Trust a Weather Forecaster!  The car was frost-encrusted with the doors frozen shut. Once I gained entry and got the engine running, scraping the windows was impossible. The ice was paper-thin, scraping had little effect. I had to wait until the defroster warmed enough to break through.  Then, it slid off in large slices.  Bizarre.

At the market, noting all the foods I am not able to enjoy, as I was deciding on sandwich meats (I settled on herbed turkey breast and beautiful pastrami)  two other items caught my eye:

A freshly made Szechuan noodle salad that even I could enjoy the aroma, so I bought a half-pound. The woman responsible for this delicious wonder doesn't make it often in winter, so I saw it as a good omen.  

And a cheese.

As I trolled the cases, a name stood out I've not seen in years.  Leyden!  OMG.  A cheese that was available in a small out-of-the-way shop in New Jersey that carried all things Dutch.   They went out of business within 4 or 5 years of the move to DE, and that was the end of that.  

Later purchased in NYC and brought it back to DE with me for special occasions. That stopped when my previous life ended. No one here has ever heard of the cheese and I've been leery of an online purchase.  Then, today…here it is prominently displayed with other, more well known Dutch cheeses.  A marketing attempt, no doubt.  I hope it works. 

I shopped early enough to pick up a fresh, still warm baguette from the bakery.  At any other time I would have broken off a bit of the "nose" for nibbling in the car, but I was good and controlled myself admirably. At home and slathered with butter it made the morning very bright, indeed.

Sadly, there was no eggnog from the local dairy and there won't be a new delivery until Christmas week.  Yes, they ran out that quickly.  Not surprising, really.

There were 2 Christmas cards in the post today. From friends in Connecticut and New Orleans, respectively. There was also a small bag leaning against the front door containing a sweet little snow globe of a person ice skating. A gift from the kids in the pre-school downstairs. Don't ask.  All in all, a pretty good day.  

I've spent the afternoon in bed, legs propped on pillows, reading about the Yule Season and the Sacred Wheel of the Pagan Year. Interesting reading all round.  It's understandable how people gravitate to this way of living. Agreeable way to pass the time.  

Weather wise, doom and gloom are again predicted for the weekend , but there is nothing more that I need, although that eggnog would be a lovely addition if snowed in.  Sigh!

At least, I'm awake today and that's got to count for something! 

And so it goes.

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Hot Stuff Baby, This Evening

Thank You, Donna Summer.

Remember the previous post titled "Every Day in Every Way I'm Getting Better and Better"?  Well, it appears I jumped the shark on that one.  At one time or another I've been spiking low grade fevers every day this week, except of course, when I was in the Dr's office Thursday morning when it was a steady 98.9, believe  it or not.

By the time I headed to bed I had spiked a doozy of 102.4 and felt horrible. It was way too late to call the Dr's office and I was unable to drive, in any case. I just battened down the hatches, got another icepack, took 2 Tylenol and waited to sweat it out.

By Friday morning I felt better though still a little warm and slightly out of sorts. Took a shower, shaved, made a coffee, and had (don't laugh!) Cheerios with banana & blueberries, and headed out.

Made a stop at the post office to drop off a "Hold Mail" order. Mark, the customer service person looked at me funny and asked if I was ok, that I didn't look so good.  Well, how rude.  No, seriously, I've known Mark over 20 years and he wouldn't say such things if he wasn't concerned.

I hit the men's room when I get to work and took a good look at myself.  Dear Christ on a cracker! Eyes were glassy, skin pale and a face so gaunt it could have been someone else.

Went about my duties as kitchen and wait staff arrived. After all was settled and I had a break I realized I was very hot, indeed (and not the way you think, Hrumpf!) I checked my temperature to find it was 101.6 (as you see above - click to embiggen) not good, and I can't figure out why.

During lunch time, I called the Dr's office from the restaurant and explained the situation.  About 15 minutes later His nurse returned the call advising me to go home and stay away from crowds. Found the boss in the office, showed him the thermometer, told him I was going home and if the fever increased, I'd be going to the doctor's office.  I already told the nurse that I would NOT consider the ER unless my temp is 103'  Doctor's assistant warned me to stay home and do not work this weekend.   Two new scripts were called in - one is Bactrim and the other is Zovirax. Bactrim = 2 tabs every 2 days, and Zovirax = twice daily.  Expensive stuff too.  Picked them up on the way home.  I remember Bactrim from the old days when I worked with PWAs, (people with AIDS) so the Dr's afraid of bacterial and viral infections. Oh well, maybe this will be of some help.  If not, I hope someone can drive me to the hospital, if that's the only option. 

Note: I've been corrected in my usage of "low grade fever" and I humbly apologize for the error.  A low grade fever is one between 99' F and 100.4' F.  Higher fevers are called "Pyrexia" and can be 100.5 F to 105.8 F.  I hope I never get to that stage.

Funny thing, I still have an appetite and prepped some soup and a few chicken wings, not spicy ones.  I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid. A salad wedge added the crunch.  Even though I didn't eat it all, I put it in the fridge for later.

I love living independently. but at times like this it would be nice if someone was nearby to offer assistance. 

Don't know what's going to happen about the trip. I can't see enjoying myself while carrying around a fever even a low grade one.  Take one day at a time.  Right? Well, in this case I am taking it hour by hour.

Took 2 more Tylenol and am about to take a luke warm shower before getting into bed

We'll see. 

And so it goes.
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Forty Days: I Will Be In New Orleans

Beignets,  Po-Boys, Oysters Bienville, Friends, Étouffée, Oysters Rockefeller, The sister, Escargot, Sazerac Cocktail, and a Pimm's Cup at the Napoleon House for old times sake.

To make a point about the ever-changing, yet never-changing city of my birth I offer these two images:

Milk-cart on Esplanade Ave. 1903

Same Milk-cart image superimposed  into a recent shot of the same scene.

These images were just sent to me and I must say they (and all the others) made me feel much better and lifted my spirits.  Something to look forward to, indeed.

More later.

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Flights of Fancy are Confirmed.

Finally!

The airline sent an email confirmation of my round-trip flights and have charged my account.  For some reason, even though I booked a hotel and flight package, they bill separately. Who knew and what's the point? I know, I know, I get a better deal by booking a package, so why bother wondering why they bill separately?  I won't.

Now I wait for the hotel to do the same.

There seems to be no logic to the ways of travel services.  I am staying an extra 7th night in NOLA because it is less expensive than staying only for 6.  WTF? Go fig!

The airport/hotel shuttle voucher has been printed and is my itinerary folder.

Half way to a happy traveler...I just have to get through the next 8 weeks, is all.

And so it goes.
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Is There a Requiem For a Dead PC?

If not Mahler, maybe Phillip Glass or PDQ Bach?   You know, something like "Windows on the Fritz!"

Eddie has had my desktop for four days now and he can't seem to get it to read the OS discs, or any other for that matter. He describes loud whirring sounds that shouldn't be happening.  The drive has no problem playing DVD movies and music CDs, but not the Windows 7 disc.  He's all upset.  He prides himself on troubleshooting all versions of Windows, but the solution to this problem is alluding him.

I tried to comfort him. It's a 6-year-old computer after all, purchased when the last one bought the farm in October of 2007. I suggested that if he didn't get the CPU to cooperate over the weekend that he stop trying.  There are two options ahead: I've found another HP with more memory and faster everything for about the same cost as the 6-year-old one.  Or I can save all this unnecessary energy and stress and go into debt for an additional $200 and get a Mac - Mini.

Yes, I realize there would be a steep learning curve, and I'd prefer an easier option, but I cannot waste time on virus scanning everything that is downloaded to the PC, and worry about other viruses or worms creeping onto the hard drive to destroy my data.

Whatever path I choose, I'll receive 5% cash back using Discover Card, if I shop through the "shop discover" option on the website. This has helped me accumulate tidy sums over the years to apply to account balances, or purchases that I wouldn't normally consider for myself.  Recent example: the iPad. 

Whatever happens, I am happy to have this laptop so that I am not totally out of touch with cyber-world.  The laptop itself was one of those surprise deals that I couldn't pass up. Sale price plus the "Staples rewards" earned brought the price down to close to $200. Initially purchased to take along on holiday, it's coming in handy during this mini-crisis.

I'm tired of thinking. My head is about to explode I need to go now.

And so it goes.
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Stranded Dolphins Dragged Back to Sea

Dolphin pods have been stranding on beaches all over the planet, mostly uninhabited ones. This pod was fortunate to be rescued on beach where humans were sunbathing and knew what had to be done .  A very courageous act performed in swim trunks. This restores my faith in humanity, somewhat.



More later.
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It's Not There Anymore.

While resting today (alternating between hot and cold compresses) I downloaded Google Earth and paid a visit to my childhood home in New Orleans.  Had no trouble finding the area - it was a pretty unique little enclave of small homes a block from Lake Pontchartrain and the old (now private) airport. The homes once served as housing for military officers during World War II and close to the military facilities on the other side of the Industrial Canal. 

My grandparents purchased their home from the government on June 23, 1945 and I was born on July 23, 1946. I lived in their home from age 5 to 16 when I moved to NYC. (If you click to embiggen and follow the arrow in the image almost directly down, you can just make out the small U-shape of the homes with another street located straight down the center.  A trident of sorts.)

The U is Curtis Drive that begins and ends on Haynes Blvd. Martin Drive was the center street and ended at the corner of our home and the stream that wound into the woods behind our house.  Martin  Drive now continues past the house and continues into the newer neighborhoods that replaced the woods. The area  known as "Little Woods" would later become New Orleans East. I prefer the former title.

I spent many a summer's day in that lake slowly bobbing around in an inner-tube (car tires used air-filled soft rubber tubes in those days, if one was punctured it was usually discarded. They would be patched and given to anyone who wanted one) or using the tube to hold a bushel basket while we caught crabs.

Individual summer camps - houses on pilons that jutted out into the lake - stretched for miles down the Haynes Blvd. coastline.  One such "camp" was owned by an aunt and uncle who lived further into town.  They would spend weekends and a few weeks at the camp, crabbing, fishing, shrimping and cooking up the most amazing fare you could ever imagine.I would spend days there enjoying the lake, birds, and of course, the food.

In my travels via Google Earth I discovered that all the camps are gone. The airport has been completely renovated to accept private planes, even small jets. There is a marina where I used to swim. When I found the little horseshoe shaped enclave I once called home, I zoomed in to get a better view of the homes there.   A few remain abandoned since Katrina, but most have been restored, enlarged and look to be well cared for.  Green lawns and even some trees.

Sadly, my own old home has been replaced by a red brick structure (house?) resembling a bunker or utility station. With windows high off the ground, 2 X 3' rectangles, and offering no view of the surrounding neighborhood, I wonder who would build such a fortress-like thing. Clearly, not "community" minded folks. 

I was saddened by viewing the surrounding neighborhoods that are still washed out and vacant. Schools, churches, even roadways in dis-repair.   All these years later, it is heartbreaking to think that this could be so.

While disturbing on so many levels, it gave me hope for the city and (at least for a while) took my mind off the back pain. I am left with only images, not what I have seen with my own eyes.  That is the next logical step. I need to visit to see for myself.

And so it goes.
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Post-Sandy Update: Tuesday Morning

(Image: the street where I used to live, taken yesterday afternoon.  Now glad I live in town. The old neighborhood didn't do so well.)

Power went off at around 6 PM last evening. I broke out the candles and read for about 2 hours hoping for it to be restored.  It wasn't.  Kindle reading is very comforting.  Screen gives off a warm glow and is easy on the eyes.

Gave up, extinguished the candles and got under the covers as the wind and rain lashed the building. I was  asleep almost immediately.  Woke in the dark, lit a candle, found a watch - it was 5:30 AM - close to my usual wake-up time.

Half hour later the apartment hummed to life. Lights came on and all clocks were blinking. A few minutes later power went off again.  It has been flickering or going out momentarily ever since. When it remains on for  an extended period I will plug the refrigerator in, but not until then.

It is still dark out, the winds have diminished somewhat, though still strong, and rain continues to fall. The apartment felt cold when I woke but I attributed it to the stress of the past 48 hours.  Not so. The temperature had dropped 30' over night and the indoor temperature is 64' - outdoors it's 42'. As with the refrigerator, I will crank up the heat when the power is relatively stable. Same goes for a coffee and breakfast. I am starved.  Pulled on some sweats to take the chill off the old body and wanted to get this posted before the power goes down again.

When things calm down a bit I may take a walk around town to check things out, but not in this heavy rain and gusty winds, thank you very much.

Be safe everyone.

More later.
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