News: Night Sweats Are Us

Bad night ended abruptly when I woke up soaking wet from night sweats.

  A new first in the ongoing health saga that is daily life.  Not feeling strong enough to change bed linens, I changed into dry clothes instead, wrapped in a blanket and slept on the rug on the floor.  Sorry, but it was the best I could do.

Slept another hour, then was up before dawn wondering what the hell happened. Sat on the dry side of the bed sipping a hot green tea, mustering up the energy to change the sheets. 

When that was finally accomplished I was short of breath and just wanted to take a hot shower and go back to bed.  Uh-uh. No rest for the weary.  Labs and appointments at the Center are on the Gay agenda this morning and it's taken all I have in me to get ready for the adventures. 

It's turned cold and wintery again overnight  with morning temp below freezing and winds of 25 mph. and I dread having to go out in it. 

I need oxygen. Putting one foot in front of the other until I can't do it anymore. There's no more to say.

And so it goes.

*

Record-keeping, Comparisons, & New Tablet

It's just about lunch time and I am already bone tired. Since my wake-up times seem to be getting earlier and earlier, and I have great quantities of energy at that time, I accomplish much while it's still dark outside.

Had a coffee and light breakfast before taking the  morning meds. While running a load of laundry (Damn! those stairs are killers.) I made new file folders for the myriad medical entities I owe money to and will have to pay off - eventually.  Prepped food for supper and returned it to the refrigerator for later, JIC I run out of steam and can't stand up long enough to do both prep and cook.  Yes, it's come to that. And no, I will not dwell.

Went through all old files in the cabinet and shredded those 6 or more years old.  No need to have them around. The shredder was one of the best investments I've ever made. (Shred into bags, put bags into recycle bin downstairs.) Balanced the checkbook, paid a few bills online that were coming due in a few days.

Logging in for email I found the electronic gift card from Staples, covering the cost of the dead Kindle Fire.  That was quick. Turns out, they refunded the entire purchase price even though the newer tablets are more advanced and cost less than 2 years ago. I am not complaining. I'll take it.

There was also a nice surprise statement from a credit card containing the new cash-back balance available. Since I use cards for everything (never cash, if I can help it) it's amazing how quickly the percentage points grow over time.  Plus, I'd rather use their money over the month, not mine.

Taking the advice of the 2 geeks at the restaurant, I did more serious comparison shopping between the Samsung Tab 3 and the Google/Nexus 7 ver. 2.  It's piece of cake to "compare products" online nowadays. Saved and printed relevant pages, highlighted options important to my needs, and had another coffee while making the decision. 

Staples Odyssey: The Unprofessional Edition 

Read recent news reports about the financial problems facing Staples, I can totally understand why.  First, their website is convoluted, many items are not in categories one would expect them to be, and while they offer a "find store" option, what pops up is the address and phone number.  One cannot navigate to that specific store to check stock on items. The site always brings you back to a store in a large metropolitan area, which for me is Philadelphia, or Baltimore.

I wanted to check for sale prices and availability at the local Rehoboth Beach, DE store, but couldn't do it.  And the purchase must be made in store, not online. Why?  Because the certificate is only valid for in-store purchases. Bar code must be scanned at the time of the transaction. I didn't want to waste time driving to the store if the item wasn't in stock. 

That may sound trite, even lazy, but with vertigo and shortness of breath, I prefer to stay off the roads as much as possible. I don't want to be the cause of an accident and run the risk of hurting someone. 

I called the local store several times, getting bumped or put on hold every time.  I know they're tech staff isn't busy at 7:30 am, please!!! When I finally got through to the "tech" desk (yes, well) the nimrod had no idea what I was asking for. He finally wrote down verbatim what I was looking for, put me on hold (again) for at least 10 minutes before returning to tell me he "thought" there were 5 of the items in stock, but wasn't sure.

I asked that he check with someone who could be sure as I was facing a difficult drive and wanted to confirm that I would leave the store with the item in hand. He sounded quite annoyed as I was put on hold again.  This time a woman got on the line and asked for the information - all over again. Meanwhile the sun is moving high in the sky and traffic will begin to get heavy.

When she returned to give me the good news, she had a changed attitude when she realized that this was going to be a nice chunk-of-change sale for her store.   She even offered to put the item aside for me (like they were going to sell 5 of these things on a wednesday morning, uh-huh) and asked if she could collect any other things on my list so they would be all together waiting for me when I arrived.  Sweet!

I gave her my list of needs and told her I'd be there to pickup within an hour.  She almost made me laugh when she informed me that she couldn't hold an unpaid-for item for more than that. WTF did she think I was spending all this time on a prank?  

To make a long story short, I chose the Nexus 7 tablet and picked it up with a new portable box (for the medical files) and a few odds and ends that needed replacing.  I could have been in and out of the store in a half hour, but they had to located a manager with keys to the electronic storage (she was outside the store smoking when I arrived) who had turned off her communication headset for some personal quiet. BTW, not the same woman who helped organize my purchase.

When I found this out I blew my top at her.  The only person with keys is unreachable,  takes a half-hour smoke break at 10 am!!! Turns out she is also the district manager for DE, and the peninsula. When she got pissy with me I made it clear in my best big-boy voice that she was clearly in a position beyond her talents, abilities, and attitude toward customer service. 

Believe it or not, as she retrieved the item from the secure storage area and placed it with the other items under my name, she got into my face and - - - stuck her tongue out at me in front of staff and other customers, then walked away. Surprised and a little stunned by this action of a 50+ year-old (professional?) woman, I laughed loud and hard.  I then followed to get the name off her employee badge (which she tried to hide from view). A complaint will be lodged at some point this day. 

Anyway…I have the new Nexus 7, which is a tad taller, though lighter than the Kindle Fire, but still fits well in the hand. So, that's over and done. I am pretty spent  now, and will enjoy the rest of the day relaxing, learning how to use it. That ought to take up most of my time. I'll finish the file sorting later, or tomorrow - whenever I feel up to it. Nothing is a rush anymore.

More importantly, I have my reading material to help me through the weekend medical mishugas, and that's all that matters. 

Just received a reminder call from the Cancer Center letting me know that I have Labs and a follow-up appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning, and if it's anything like past weeks, I'll need transfusions on Friday morning, as well. 

Oh, happy days! 

And so it goes.

Damn! I Was There!

I had happily forgotten about this. After all, it was just one of many that continued after the Stonewall Riots.  Found this item over at Box Turtle Bulletin and realized, hey!  I was there. I was not quite 24 that winter, working long hours (noon to midnight) and fast becoming what we used to call a "nightcrawler" - and these illegal after hours places were where we thought we'd not be bothered. Someone didn't pay off the right people, I guess. What did we know?  

New York Police Raid the Snake Pit: 1970. It may come as a surprise to those who are not of a certain age, but raids on gay bars by the New York police department didn’t end with the Stonewall uprising in the summer of 1969. In fact, raids continued, virtually uninterrupted. At about 5:00 a.m. of March 8, 1970, New York police descended on the Snake Pit, an after-hours unlicensed bar in Greenwich Village. Deputy Inspector Seymore Pine showed up with a fleet of police wagons, and without bothering to sort out the owners from the clientele, arrested all 167 customers and took them to the station house, an act which violated police policy. One patron, Diego Vinales, panicked. An immigrant from Argentina who was in the country illegally, he feared what would happen to him in the police station and tried to escape by jumping out a second story window. He landed on a fence below, its 14-inch spikes piercing his leg and pelvis. He was not only critically wounded, but was also charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. As paramedics attended to Vinales, a cop told a fireman, “You don’t have to hurry, he’s dead, and if he’s not, he’s not going to live long,” sparking a false rumor that Vinales had died.Following on that rumor, the Gay Activist Alliance immediately organized a protest for later that night. A pamphlet publicizing the protest read, “Any way you look at it, Diego Vinales was pushed. We are all being pushed. A march on the Sixth Precinct will take place tonight, March 8, at 9pm, gathering at Sheridan Square. Anyone who calls himself a human being, who has the guts to stand up to this horror, join us. A silent vigil will occur immediately following the demonstration.” Nearly 500 people showed up for the protest. After Rep. Edward Koch accused New York City Police Commissioner Howard Leary of green-lighting the resumption of raids and illegal illegal arrests on the gay community, Leary resigned and Pine was reassigned to Flatbush in Brooklyn. And the gay community, which had already witnessed a burst of organizing activity since the Stonewall uprising nine months earlier, became even more politically and socially active, setting the stage for a very successful Christopher Street commemoration later that Summer for the first anniversary of Stonewall.

Many legal (meaning they paid off) establishments were hurting because of the intimidation of the police. During a raid *everyone* was taken to the precinct, though not always arrested. After the raid, and when the bar was eventually allowed to reopen, there would be cop stationed at the door checking identification, and writing everything on a tablet. (there were no computers back then.) Scary stuff when being out at the time could mean the end of your career, and life as you would like it to be.

Another bit of forgotten history, remembered.

And so it goes.

*

Black Veil & a Feather Boa

My Kindle Fire died Saturday evening for no apparent reason.  Maybe just old age, or perhaps planned obsolescence.  No matter, it's toast. I had recently downloaded a few books to hold me over when I receive  transfusions. And now?  "Poof"  All gone.  Bother!

I am in mourning. It was a gift less then 2 years old, and included a 2-year extended replacement warrantee, which means I can get a new one.  Which means I also have to wait…maybe.

So, I collected the necessary papers yesterday and took my sweet self the Staples technical desk to find out what to do next. They couldn't have been nicer. Claims aren't processed locally, nor do they provide a new product, but give a URL address to their  "square deal" site.  Couldn't have been easier.  Hopped on the site, input requested data, then spoke to a REAL, LIFE, BREATHING human being.

Tony!  He asked the usual inane questions: did you try another electrical outlet?, a different charger?, was the item dropped or have any visual damage? When I explained that the Kindle and the charger got very hot during that final attempt to charge the thing, he quickly said that it was likely a problem with the innards of the Kindle itself, and no fault of my own. Well, thanks for that vote of confidence! 

Tony gave me a "return authorization" number then sent an email with instructions for returning the item.  Smooth. Took everything to the UPS store this morning, packed up the Kindle with copies of all the paperwork, JIC, and sent it on to never-land, somewhere in eastern Texas… oh my!

Meanwhile, I am lost without reading material to help pass the time while resting in bed during the day or spending a day at the Center receiving blood. 

Isn't it funny how quickly we become addicted to certain technology.  Withdrawal, as you probably already know, is a bitch! In the old days, I would have just grabbed a real book and been done.  That ship has sailed.

It's very sad, really. They do not repair these things anymore.   I do hope they recycle the innards and don't just chuck it all in landfills. 

Had to run a quick errand in town before coming home. I noticed there were open parking spots near Dos Locos, so decided to show my smiling face and welcome the locosguys home - they just returned from their 3 weeks in Mexico. It was great fun. The restaurant was busy, but (thankfully) no kids. I got to remove the mask, relax, and enjoy the company of friends. 

Two staffers are real geeks (who usually agree on nothing), after hearing my Kindle tale of woe, suggested I had just hit the mother lode. No more Kindles, they said.  Get a REAL Android Tablet, they said. Improved technology has lowered prices and I can purchase something thrice as fast and reliable for the same price as 2 years ago.  But I need something small and light - nothing big and flashy, if you get my drift.  The arthritis and cramping in the hands make manipulating anything large (or too small) out of the question. 

They agreed on either the Samsung Tab - 3, or the Google Nexus 7. Both come close in price to the presumed refund and both are only 7" tall. I have homework to do before I buy either one. 

If any of you geeks reading this want to weigh in on the new tablet, please leave a comment.  I'd appreciate any and all information you're willing to offer.

Limited: Tony told me that the certificate would be valid only if used at the store, not online.  So that puts many limits on my choices. If up to it,  I'll drop by the store again tomorrow to see what I can discover - maybe there's even a sales associate who knows what they're talking about willing to answer my questions.

Just as an aside, here:  Watched part of Palin's speech at CPAC yesterday and it suddenly occurred to me that the only beings able to follow along and make any sense her word-salad rhetoric are the paste-eating mouth-breathers with the IQ just a tick above a Rubber plant. What a festering bile-wagon that crazy woman is from head to toe.

Never mind…where was I?  

And so it goes.

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Thin Mints & Wiggly Veins

Instead of "capped teeth & caesar salad" - never mind, it's a Lloyd Webber Thing. Woke up with this song in my head. Damn these morning ear worms!!! Anyway, it's the first obvious title that came to mind. Deal with it. And humor me, OK?  

Arrived at the Center yesterday morning at 7:15 am, and the place was already jumping. Lots of people arriving for Chemo treatments, some in better moods than others, especially for such an early hour. 

When one of the nurses from the Infusion Dept. came to escort me back to my section for transfusion, she surprised me with a bear hug and a box of Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies.  The story goes that she found a few little girls standing at a small table in front of some store, in the freezing cold, and she thought of me.  So she bought a box as a gift. What a thoughtful surprise. I tried to pay her but she wouldn't accept my nasty cash. 

There was a large strip of surgical tape wrapped around the sealed box with my name printed on it in big black magic marker letters. She made sure that no one was going to eat those cookies. Every nurse in the section came up to tell me how lucky I was to find the box still intact. Seems they all love chocolate and Thin Mints, too. 

I offered to open the box and share, but they would have none of that.  Those cookies were special - they were mine. Indeed, I did feel special.

Getting down to the blood business at hand, two nurses began to prep me by attempting to open a port in one of my arms.  I have two arms, BTW. That's when the problems began. I have been told I have "great" veins; easy to see and so convenient to access for transfusing. However, with the continued weight loss, it seems the veins have a tendency to wriggle around, making it difficult to open a port. 

After 6 punctures and 3 blown veins, one was finally found to be stable and the access point was opened. By this time I had 6 holes in my arms, covered in gauze and medical tape. The spots where the 3 veins had blown were swelling, and purple - though not painful. These would have to be watched carefully for any leaking as the blood entered my body.  The pressure caused by the incoming blood flowing rarely results in this effect, (but it happens)  which is not pretty, and fairly uncomfortable. 

This stress coupled to the effect of the Benadryl injection meant there would be no reading while I sat there for 6+ hours. So I whipped out the earbuds and listened to music, instead. This turned out to be a mixed blessing. I was able to nod off at times, but still had to be aware of any change in the taped up wounds.  

One outlet began to leak, so the flow was reduced to limit  the pressure, which seemed to help. All in all, the dressings had to be changed twice throughout the day. A day made half again as long as it should because of the slower rate of blood transferred each hour. I was held captive for nine hours rather than the usual six.  Yep, another full day shot to hell.

Of course, as a human pin cushion side-show freak now, I am not allowed to bathe or shower for 48 hours. To shave, I need to wear long sleeves and medical gloves to protect the hands and arms from getting wet and possibly infected. 

Are we having fun, yet? 

Between the vertigo, the effects of the Benadryl, and the Lasix making me pee my brains out every few minutes, I somehow managed to drive home, hobble up the stairs, and belly-flop onto the bed. 

That's where I woke an hour later, feeling suddenly hungry and the urgent need to pee, yet again. Being in no condition to stand and cook a meal, I opted for sour dough toast washed down with cantaloupe before heading back to bed. 

Woke up at 3 am today feeling weak but rested. Though spring-like weather is on the agenda today, I have no plans to leave the apartment.

I've made more lists as I enjoyed breakfast and coffee.  Two coffees, actually. My mind is full of ideas, but I don't have the requisite energy, or even enthusiasm to follow through on any of them.

Weekly blood work yields little positive change.  The CBC remains  low, though the Neutrophil count is back up in normal ranges, probably due to the steroid I've been on for 3 weeks now. But that seems the only step forward - the relief from having to wear the damned medical mask in public all the time. 

I have to let people know that this is what is happening, that it isn't just because I'm lazy or lethargic.  Heaven knows, I've had enough peaceful, down time in the past few weeks and it's not for my emotional well-being. 

Finally talked with the sister.  She's prepping for open heart surgery. She's scheduled in two weeks and was given a tour of the ICU where she will spend her recovery time. I could tell she was apprehensive, but she asked the medical team all the important questions and feels resigned to what's to come. The call cheered us both up and after a half hour we were in our usual laughing mode and feeling better for the conversation and support. Of course, she wants to help me as I want to be there for her.  Ain't gonna happen. 

Of course, I didn't mention that when the vertigo is really bad, I'm light-headed from the inability to gather full lungs of air, my eyes won't focus to read, and I cannot concentrate on a youtube video, I feel as if I'm just hanging around waiting to die. 

On that cheery note I will just say, it is what it is.

And so it goes.

*

Caturday Snark

All Choked Up, Too.

More later.
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It's a Blogiversary!

And it's Mine!

Today begins the 8th year of this little one bedroom corner of the blogosphere and I must say, it's been quite a ride.

It was the prodding of Ron (the dear gossip) over at Retired in Delaware that finally got me going.  He insisted that others would be interested in what I had to say; that I am a good writer, and blah blah blah.

I've never considered myself a writer.  I write pretty much the way I speak in conversation, so that's really what I do. Some people are driven to distraction by my use of the "comma" since I use it to pause just as I do in natural speech. 

When I published the very first post, my old life was crumbling around me, my house was up for sale, the Ex was in the process of building his new house with his new flame, and within the next 4 months I would go from homeowner to homeless.

The Ex took everything (even gifts given to me) and I had nothing. Boxes of books, clothes, CDs, and the PC - that was it. Life was bleak and I was lost and alone for the first time in 30 years. 

First move was disaster. Thought by renting a bedroom from a (then) friend, I would be helping him out of financial stress, but it was an ugly setup by the Ex and his (whatever) and I was kicked out without due notice, explanation, or monetary compensation. He kept my money, period.  His karma. 

While physically healthy, mentally was another story. I was falling to pieces. I wrote sparingly about those personal trials, mainly because I couldn't believe people treated others so badly and had little regard for their feelings. Anyway, hindsight isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Second move was to a beautiful apartment in the back waters on the marshes near Delaware Bay. Peaceful and healing environment. That place, the jewelry store and then the part-time gig at Dos Locos helped me dig out of some heavy debt, and get through.

The job at the jewelry store and a few early readers kept me closer to sanity and away from the edge of the cliff of the mentally disturbed. Slowly I began to put a new life together and bit by bit, I stepped out of the shadows of the past, let it go and embraced the new places life was taking me. It was time to move on, again.

The third move (2010) into this tiny place in the center of this tiny beach town was the best of the lot, of course. 

Fortunately, when the jewelry store closed in 2009, I became employed full time at Dos Locos and, as they say, when one door closes, another one opens. Usually a better one. That was certainly true in my case. 

I love living in town, love(d) my job, (miss it terribly) love sharing adventures, silly stories of the quirks of the place and people, and wouldn't change a thing. 

The current health situation being the exception.  But, I'm not going there today.  

Today is a celebration, of sorts. Over the years bloggers and readers have come and gone and I like to think some who've have hung around and commented through the years, have become like friends.  I've even met some personally (hope to meet more down the road) and they've taught me a lot.  Probably not intentionally, but from these total strangers I've learned a good bit about kindness and generosity, and all through this here web thingy…….

So today I indulge in two units of fresh blood (the blood of an 18-year-old, as they say at the Center) in the hope that I may still be around come the next blogiversary in 2015. It may not be much, but it is something positive to focus on, if you get my drift. 

So mote it be.

*

O.M.G. "COSMOS - 2014"

I mean, if you haven't seen this already, just look at the promo for the new series. Breathtaking!!!

Thirty four years (half my lifetime) ago, for the first 3 months of 1980 I sat glued to the tiny black & white TV set in my West 4th. Street, NYC apartment. I was captivated, mesmerized watching all 13 episodes of Carl Sagan's masterpiece series, "COSMOS: A Personal Voyage."  I also made a point of watching the series when PBS ran again it during their annual Pledge Drive later that same year.  Talk about dedication!!!

Cosmos is one of the brightest jewels in the PBS crown and, as I've viewed  episodes on YouTube, the series holds up beautifully even today.

Now I see that the late Carl's partner in life and science crime,  Ann Druyan, has taken the plunge once more providing all new information, and updating what wasn't (couldn't be) known 34 years ago. The new series begins airing this weekend on FOX and National Geographic stations. 

The frontman (presenter) this time round is my hero of Astrophysics, (after Sagan, of course) Neil deGrasse Tyson. The story of Tyson's history with Sagan going back to when Neil was 17 years-old,  proves that this series was destined to happen. It was written in the STARS, as they say.  Hey, don't laugh.  I'm holding back a gusher, here.

I have to say that THIS series would be the only reason I would love to have access to television service today.  Sadly, I do not have service and at this point, I couldn't afford it, anyway.

I won't embed it here, but if you're curious about how exciting Tyson can make you feel about science, here is a LINK to a video of his appearance on Moyers & Company back in January. The video is less than a half-hour and full of wit, humor, science, questions and answers. Enjoy.

It's off to bed for me now.  A transfusion appointment is scheduled for 7:30 am tomorrow; I think that means I'm in for a 2-unit, all-day marathon.

And so it goes.  

*

10 Reasons it's OK to Be Disliked

Posted without comment. None are necessary

1. It allows you to be true to yourself.The biggest disservice you can do yourself is shapeshifting to please your “audience” of the moment. It’s exhausting (even to watch) and, more importantly, pointless. No one will get to know who you really are, which will leave you feeling empty. 

2. It gives you the power to say no.I believe people are good at heart. Still, it’s human nature to test each other’s boundaries. When you’re willing to risk being disliked, you’re able to say no when you need to. Your yes' and no's shapes your future, so choose them wisely. 

3. You’re more comfortable exploring your feelings.Doesn’t it feel good to just be where you are without pretending for someone else’s sake? I’m not saying you should act in anger or fear, just that it’s pretty exhilarating to say, “Hell yeah—I’m terrified” (or lonely or weak or struggling) regardless of what people will think. 

4. Your candor can help other people.An angst-filled younger me made a fake voodoo doll for a middle school teacher who was hard on me, but forever changed my life (not my proudest moment). It’s often the least popular people who strike the deepest chord in us. Be unpopular when necessary and push people to be their best. You just may save someone’s life. 

5. You can freely express your thoughts.One of the kindest things you can do for someone else is listen without judging. You deserve that same kindness, but you won’t always get it. People will form opinions as you speak. Talk anyway. Let your words be kind but fearless. 

6. It prepares you for greater success.Pick a popular Twitter user and look at their @replies. Odds are they field their fair share of harsh comments. The higher you rise, the more attention you’ll receive, both positive and negative. A willingness to be disliked helps you deal with the added scrutiny. 

7. It teaches you to offer kindness and compassion without expectations.It’s not difficult to offer compassion to someone who treats you with respect and kindness. What’s more valuable for your personal development, and to humanity as a whole, is the ability to do what’s right because it’s right—not because you get something in return. 

8. You can inspire other people.There is someone I know who has the uncanny ability to keep going even when others try to pull him down. I learn from him every day. To this guy, anyone who doesn’t appreciate his assertive, over-the-top personality is a reminder that he is unique and unafraid. 

9. You can use your time wisely.If you want to be liked by everyone, odds are you’re spreading yourself way too thin trying to keep them all happy. We need to use our time judiciously to enrich ourselves and others instead of worrying about everyone’s perceptions. 

10. You can smile anyway.You could use your energy to make daily inventories of everything that’s wrong—the money you don’t have, the esteem you didn’t earn, the people you disappointed. Or you could commit to being your best, and then just sit back and smile. Life will always be a balancing act. Learn to teeter in serenity.

There now, that's better.

More later.
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Up Your Ash Wednesday!

As with most everything else that is hyped ad nauseum, the latest snow "event" forecast to dump "up to 10 inches"  on us - dropped a sniveling 2+ by the time it ended at sunset on Monday. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. Like everyone around me I am ready for this winter to be over.

Today's plan is to conjure up enough energy to dig the car out where the snowplow evidently blocked it in while clearing the street. I can't do what I used to (get the car cleaned & cleared within minutes), it will take several attempts to get the poor thing free of her prison, but it shall be done.  

There is no one to call for help, anyway. I need to drive to the pharmacy for a badly needed refill (one I forgot last week, damn!) and there are appointments at the Center on Thursday morning. The sun is shining today, which would be a help itself, but more cold and rain are forecast for tonight and tomorrow.  Can't take the chance of being stuck.

Checking email this morning, I discovered two "gifts" waiting for me. One is a $5.00 credit from Amex when I spend $5.00 or more on iTunes.  Trouble is, I have never shopped at iTunes and have no idea how it works.  Maybe I ought to check it out, huh?  

The second is a notice from Discover that I am signed up for 5 to 10% cash back on purchases at various retailers for any number of goodies.  Restaurants, included. Trouble is, I need nothing and at present dining-out isn't, how you say, appetizing at all. But, we'll see. Stranger things have happened - even in the past week.

Also in email was a link to a health-related study update that almost made me spew coffee through my nose.  I remember the original warnings about foods that were total killers - this is going back around 10 years ago - that we were to avoid at all costs, or….

You know, the seven deadly sins foods; eggs, whole milk, popcorn, coconut oil, coffee, salt, and cheese.

Well, today's update shoots down the original study and now says (what we all knew anyway) that all these foods are fine for us - - in moderation - - yes, as with everything else. In fact, some are vital to our body's health and our mental well-being. 

Not that I ever gave up any of the killer foods in all those years. Way-back-when I did the "low fat" thing until I learned that some fats were actually beneficial - and besides, I would never give up avocados, even if I keeled over dead while eating one.

That said, you can imagine my surprise as I sit here this afternoon with a snack plate of Brie, Kalamata olives, Smoked Pork Sausage, and Cracked Pepper Water Crackers when a news story popped up with the headline "Meat & Cheese Linked to Early Death" and I just rolled my eyes. 

My first thought was "here we go again" now there go cheese burgers, cheese steak sandwiches, fabulous grilled cheese delights, and probably the worst of all (if you believe such nonsense) the very plate sitting on the small table next to me. 

With the limited appetite available to me these days, I eat whatever I have, or satisfies my immediate cravings and hunger. I wonder how long it will take for this new study to be debunked, too. They may be selling, but I ain't buying.

I'm just going to enjoy my snack and giggle a bit at all the, uh, "hype"!

The car is free from captivity, and I am thawing nicely. 

And so it goes.

*

Insistent Card of the Day.

No matter how I shuffle and cut the deck, this card has come up 3 days in a row.  This morning it finally got my full attention. I get it now. I'm a little slow these days. 

The figure with back turned seems to be mourning 3 cups that have spilled their contents, unaware of the 2 cups behind that may still be full or at least can be filled. To turn toward the remaining cups and be concerned with the future instead of the past.

A transition. When something new is beginning let go of the past, we cannot change it, anyway.

Sums up the struggles of the past 5 days pretty well. 

BP Disaster: Court Rules for Claimants, Again

Instead of the stalling and cover-up BP could have done the right thing long ago by coming clean and doing what was best for the Gulf wildlife, businesses, and people, but that would have been admitting wrongdoing, and that wasn't an option for them.

From NOLA.com

A divided panel of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled Monday that businesses seeking money as part of the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill settlement need not prove they were directly harmed by the accident and its aftermath to collect payments. The ruling is likely to be appealed by BP to the full 5th Circuit Court or the U.S. Supreme Court. 

The decision was immediately criticized by BP. "BP disagrees with today’s decision," said Geoff Morrell, a senior vice president for BP America. "BP had asked the court to prevent payments to business economic loss claimants whose alleged injuries are not traceable to the Deepwater Horizon accident and oil spill. BP believes that such ... claimants are not proper class members under the terms of the settlement and is considering its appellate options." 

The Plaintiff Steering Committee, made up of attorneys representing claimants, praised the decision. "Today's ruling makes clear that BP can't rewrite the deal it agreed to," said a joint statement by lead attorneys Steven Herman and James Roy Monday's ruling is the latest in a series by two three-judge panels of the 5th Circuit concerning the way U.S. District Judge Carl Barbier has overseen the approval of the settlement and its implementation by court-appointed claims administrator Patrick Juneau. Within a week of the settlement agreement's approval in early 2013, as it became clear that the claims payouts would exceed the company's original estimate of $7.8 billion, BP began questioning its application of the settlement agreement. By July, the company's estimate had risen to $9.6 billion. 

But in Monday's ruling, written by Judge Leslie Southwick with Judge James Dennis issuing a separate concurring opinion, the 5th Circuit panel agreed with Barbier's Dec. 24 opinion that the language contained in the settlement agreement and its exhibits was in line with federal court rules governing settlements in class action lawsuits. Barbier said those rules recognize that the purpose of such settlements in large damage cases is in part to reduce the expense and burden that would be involved by holding individual trials for each claimant. In the case of the oil spill, the number of claimants could easily reach 200,000.  

Barbier also ruled that BP's demand that all business claimants prove "causation" before being paid was an improper reversal of the company's original strategy in the settlement. BP asserted that the payments were improper long after the company's attorneys agreed during court proceedings that many businesses and other claimants living closest to coastal areas directly affected by the spill would be assumed to be damaged by the spill.

BP thinks they can win by holding out and appealing for how ever long it takes, but I hope they have finally met their match on this one.  Of course, they'll appeal, yet again. but this story will not die like all the people and businesses in the Gulf did because of their greed and arrogance.  What more can those people lose, after all?  Keep spending that money, boys.  I'll keep buying popcorn.

Read the rest at the link above.

And so it goes.

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