Where is Karen Black or Donald Sutherland when you need them?Great swarms of crazies were everywhere today. The day was dark and drizzly so they were wreaking havoc among the locals.
See, when it rains on their vacation, it is our fault. If they can't get into a particular movie (because other crazies got there first) it's our fault. And if they can't find a parking spot at the Outlet centers, well, they simply block the entire right lane of the highway until a spot opens and then fist fights break out because two crazies swear they each saw the spot first. Oh, and yes, that's our fault too.
Traffic was bumper to bumper from Ocean City, MD to Lewes, DE and that's our fault, too. One brain dead, painfully over sunburned idiot whined about the traffic asking why it was so heavy and took so long to drive up to the outlets and movies. I told him it was because his idea was not original, that everybody else decided to do the same thing. He just looked at me with wide, vacant eyes. Well, Duh!
Sirens wailed all day as accidents brought out police, rescue and fire folks to attend to more results of the crazy.
I left work at job #1 at 3:30 pm, I got in at 4:45 pm - one hour and fifteen minutes to drive 6 miles back to the apartment. This is a record of some sort, but I don't want a prize. Just pray to get back in one piece without incident.
As I've written before, I hope to G*d that legislation will be passed banning drivers from using hand-held cell phones and/or texting.
Something needs to be done, the crazies are out of control assuming these two dangerous practices are their "right" not privilege.
I got your rights right here, asshat!
A customer of mine - a very handsome man - told me that when he and the family come down on holiday they turn off the cell phones (only use the land line at the house) and remove their watches. Immediately!!! They eat when they are hungry, beach it when they are in the mood, read or watch a movie when weather is uncooperative, and sleep when they are tired. Works for me. Wish he'd bottle that and give it to the crazies who have no clue as to how to relax on vacation.
Hmmm! I smell olives and that means a martini is in the vicinity. Yes!!!
Cheers!
And so it goes.
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Hollows and martinis are very good ideas, particularly dirty ones.
ReplyDeleteOh how I hate cell phones and driving!!
Your customer had the right idea, indeed!
ReplyDeleteThis past Sunday we hosted family and friends in our home. Some of the family was on their way home to central PA after spending some time at the NJ shore. The estimated their arrival at 1 pm and arrived at our home about 3:30. It seems they got caught in traffic across central NJ. Go figure! :)
You have the best blog! I loved your description of the crazies on Rt. 1. Thank God I don't have to endure what you have to each day. I had a taste of it this morning though. Seeing the crazies speeding and weaving in and out of traffic I keep thinking "What's the hurry? You’re at the beach. RELAX!”
ReplyDeleteTalk about guaranteeing good weather, parking and the best seats in a restaurant. As you know in the hotel business we HAVE TO GUARANTEE good weather. That's what I did yesterday when I had several guests in a row ask me if the sun was going to make an appearance. I decided to take a different approach. I said "Yes! It will arrive at 9 am and stay high in the sky all day until sunset." That seemed to satisfy him as he left with a smile on his face. Later, as the showers were coming down, I busied myself in the back office. I'm no dummy. Well, at least this one time anyway.