Tuesday, December 30, 2014

I Really Need A Plan

It has been another 3 days since I’ve heard of any brilliant plan from the Gods on High regarding any new treatment and I am alternately wide awake or very sleepy when any rumor arrives. So far, it’s all turned out to be rumor, cause here I sit.

I’m getting a lot of reading done and in my very confused little mind trying to sort out a legal itinerary for a legal trip to Holland for a soothing end to this nightmare via a short side trip to Euthanasia

Anybody up to a trip to Holland?

I keep trying to write Dutch friend, Peter, for his input, but the words don’t seem to come together on paper so I give up and try again another time. I mean everything from coordinating oxygen, wheelchair, medications, transportation to airport and to the Dutch medical facility, and then reversing the whole process - without me in the mix. 

Ashes scattered all over Amsterdam would make me very happy and content.

If you have any experience along these lines I’d appreciate any input you’d be willing to share.

Meanwhile I await the coming visit of at least one surgeon or specialists for quality care of some kind…ANY kind.

Anyway, Happy New Year, if you don’t hear from me beforehand

Amazed and still confused.



  1. you don't have to go as far as amsterdam; the state of oregon has a "right to die" law.

  2. Oh Wayne, this makes me sad and frustrated, as I feel completely helpless. I continue to keep you close in my heart and send you peace and comfort.

  3. Wayne,
    I echo Mark's words. I too feel helpless but know that you are in my heart and send you peace and comfort. And you don't have to go to Holland for legalized physician-assisted suicide. Oregon, Vermont and Washington state all have legalized physician-assisted suicide. Watching your medical situation has confirmed for me that is the route I will take if and when I am in that situation. Again, echoing Mark's sentiments, I send you peace and comfort. I will always remember all the joy you brought to me and the many others who were privileged to be your friend. I'll try and get in and visit you tomorrow.

  4. Wayne,
    Here is a list of the patient eligibility for physician assisted end of life decision for Oregon, Washington (state) and Vermont:Patient eligibility:

    18 years of age or older
    Resident of Washington
    Capable of making and communicating health care decisions for him/herself
    Diagnosed with a terminal illness that will lead to death within six months

  5. Serious stuff, C. It just can't get any more serious than this. Only you know what is best for you. I'm sure you don't want anyone else telling you otherwise and my earnest wish is that you don't get any such irritants.
    If I was a praying man it would only be that you can keep it all together for whatever you decide or have decided.
    I hope it might give you at least an iota of satisfaction to know that your experience is being seen as an education for when our own time comes, especially those of us in the more advanced years and who have been dealt a luckier hand than you seem to have been. Thank you, my friend, for being there to 'teach' us.
    And, with total sincerity, I wish you only the very best for 2015 and whatever it may bring.
    Blessings (with absolutely no irony intended).

  6. Wayne,
    This post makes me sad. I'm not even sure what to say. Please know you are in my thoughts and I wish the best for you, whatever that may be.


  7. I want to be supportive of your wants and needs. I want to be there for you. I want to help you. Mostly, I want to hug you and hold you and love you with all my heart.


  8. Cajun,
    We don't know each other well. I respect your wishes and you will be missed. If there is anything I can do to help, I will. I'm not so sure I could do as much as accompanying you to Holland. Is Oregon or the like an option? I don't know the laws of the states that have right to die laws. If there's a way I would be willing to help out. If you wish to talk about it just click onto the Fearsome Sells San Diego link on my blog, it takes you to my real estate site and my contact info is there. Hugs and May the new year bring you peace.

  9. It's far more complicated than the Wikipedia article suggests. First you have to find a doctor who's willing to do the procedure. You have to live here too and there has to be no hope of ever recovering from what you ail.

    I have all the forms (in my name) at home, but haven't signed them yet, I still enjoy life too much.

    I have to find out more about the subject to give you a good advice. Hang on, Wayne.


  10. Best Wishes for the new year - sending you positive thoughts

  11. I am late (as always) to the line.
    At times like this words are lame and useless. I too wish I could 'do something'. I am glad to see you are surrounded by love here.

  12. Hello, Cajun. I hope this msg finds you in a better place. I found your blog courtesy of Ron. Unfortunately, residency requirements and travel might make it impossible for you to get to a right to die state. Internet searches I have done on my own behalf seem to indicate the best way currently recommended for a DIY case is to find a large bag and two tanks of helium. You pretty much need a helper, too, which is legally very dangerous. Coming from a healthcare background, I really recommend you explore the hospice option. Round the clock morphine (or equivalent) will certainly hasten the end and make the interim bearable. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. ~~~ NB


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