The Ring Goes South & That Card Again.

I am not sure whether I ought to be spooked, or freaked (2 very different experiences), grateful and curious, or give myself a slap upside the head for missing something important that this card is trying impart to me.

As you can see in the side bar, this is the card of the month - second time in a row. It has popped up as card of the day again today - the second time in the first 10 days of December.  I know shuffling the deck is not an issue. I am very careful with that, almost religiously so. This is uncanny.

Sat up most of the night in pain reading, or trying to. Between the shoulder, left arm, wrist and the leg swelling, painkillers didn’t have a chance. Pain was so intense at times the nausea kicked in big time. Compazine helped - but not with the pain. There was no way to ignore it. 

So I decided to pull my card for today and, well, imagine my surprise when this one comes up again. Everything I read about it points to having a lovely time, enjoying love and friendships, and lots of happy, strong emotions.  

But, while I’m in great pain?  I think not.

I’m more than half way through my annual reading of LOTR - about midway through The Two Towers - occasionally finding a bit of info that I’ve missed in past years, making one more part of the trilogy fall into place. With the arm out of service I’ve been unable to write these down, but I think I’ll remember enough as some of the characters (or their heirs) play a part of the final book.  I’m reading more quickly and more intensely than in other years. I guess I need more concentration this time round to pull me through.

The struggle to put on clothes begins shortly. Jeffrey will pick me up at 8 for a few appointments, then I have a few scrips to get at the pharmacy followed by a CTScan before I can head home and return to the peace and warmth of my bed.

The storm system moving through has me moving carefully and with someone’s help. Can’t afford to dislocate the right arm now. I’ll be happy when the trials and demands of the day are over.

And so it goes.

I Lied. Never Say Never.

Unintentionally, of course.  You see, I didn’t mean to, but I spoke wrote before I knew I had this particular, weighty (ahem!) problem.  Some would say I ought to have known beforehand, but I've had other business on my mind,  dontcha know...Anyway.

There is a disturbance in the FORCE! (Sorry, wrong metaphor.) I found out the hard way that I cannot read the LOTR books. My hands and fingers are too weak to hold the hard cover volume for any length of time. 

The problem may be due to the cancer, causing weakness in joints and muscles.  It might also be the arthritis which I have in both hands. The fingertips become numb on occasion. I can no longer tell if the pain in the hands - like the pain in the legs - is due to the cancer nowadays, or still the arthritis.

I’ve tried reading with the book propped on my chest, but the weight and size are too clumsy and the book slips out of my mostly useless thumbs. The thought that reading the entire trilogy would have to take place sitting at desk or table, instead of snuggled up in bed, was more than I could take.

So, I did what I said I “would never do” I hunted down and purchased the entire trilogy in one volume. It turns out to be a Kindle Edition with surprisingly good reviews. 

I’ve proof-read the first 3 chapters and compared each edition. Though the script of the Elves is very small, so far, so good. The Kindle version is the authorized Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Co. edition.  Total cost was $9.00, delivered in less than 2 minutes, and I am a happy camper.  Now to continue the annual read that is certainly going to take my mind off being a shut-in most of the time this winter. 

Just shows to go ya; never say never. 

I am amazed.

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The Scots, Shorter Turkey Day, & Shopping UK

Finished the ebook “How the Scots Invented the Modern World” and highly recommend it for history buffs and Anglophiles for a quick and easy, insightful read. I am sure Ur-Spo would enjoy it. And maybe even Ron at (Retired in Delaware) since he's into genealogy and family histories. In fact, anyone who enjoys the historic connections between the Britons and the Americans will learn a great deal that we didn’t read about in our history books. 

The Scottish Enlightenment, the brutal, horrific Highland Clearances, the great thinkers and doers, the proud and wide-spread Philosophy of Scottish Educational System. Absolutely fascinating. It was probably a quick read because so many real life characters were written in a way that made their historic deeds and past lives before - and during - the diaspora that much more interesting. I  hope that makes sense.

I am now on to LOTR which ought to take me well into December and away from anything and everything unpleasant. Since these are real wood-pulp books, they’ll be more of a chore to lug to and from medical appointments, but we’ll get it done.

Special Alert: Today I am in a quandary and I need help.  No matter how much I clear out the one, single closet in this apartment, there is always more to find. I came upon two more large tubs today containing items that must be identified, sorted, cleaned (if usable) thrown away (if not) and that may just be the one thing a shopper at the Thrift store is looking for. I don’t know where it is all coming from and half is unrecognizable. Now Back to Regular Blogging.

I am not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Never really liked the holiday as a kid - too much family mishugass ending in arguments and creating bad feelings

too close to the real holidays.  We weren’t a sports kind of family, so verbally beating up on relatives was the order of the day. As a kid I remember that after helping clean up the kitchen my refuge was the  bedroom where I would listen to music or read for the duration. I was never missed.

Only as a gay adult in a “stable” relationship did I begin relating to the holiday. My house became the go-to place for wayward gays and lesbians with no other place to go. From NYC and NJ, to the Delaware shore. Over the years it became a tradition.  The first year there were 5 waifs; over the years the numbers fluctuated from 5 to 11 and it was all good fun. I usually did the cooking - others brought side dishes or desserts - and everyone else cleaned up.  We'd listen to music, dance and/or watch movies on the teevee machine. Spanning the eras from Vinyl to CD; VHS to DVDs.  Very relaxing times. That life, all those people are long gone. It’s a day like any other, albeit a quieter one and I don’t miss the work and fuss one tiny bit. 

It has been over a month since I ordered the “V” shape pillow from the company in the UK.  It has now been 26 days since I received word that the package had been ‘dispatched’ but to this date, the package has not yet arrived. 

The reply to my request of “Hey! What Gives” returned a familiar excuse to us Americans - “it’s the busiest time of year for the Royal Mail as it is absolutely swamped, so please be patient and give it another 3 to 5 days.”  Well, what else can I do?  They have my money and the damned thing is somewhere between the UK and the US, probably in a small steam powered boat chugging it's way across the Atlantic.  Hhrumph!

I think I’ll partake of one of those Scottish imports that must get old to be respectfully enjoyed.  A bit of single malt Scotch Whisky.  But, that’s for much later…

I am amazed.

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The Ring. That Time of Year, Again.

Every year at this time (usually earlier, hospital got in the way) I read The Lord of the Rings, again. I have done so since 1971 when the trilogy was still riding high with young people and in colleges around the world. 

It began innocently enough: like most others who had read the books, there was this feeling that we missed so much on first read that we had to read it again.  And, of course, that was very, very true. In fact, each year when I read the trilogy I find some new bit of text I could swear wasn’t there before - yet I am reading from the same old hard cover books I’ve had since 1974.

I do love the films and watch them from time to time, (all hail Peter Jackson and Philippa Boyens!) but there is something about submerging oneself in Tolkien’s written text and imagination and allowing it to wash over you that transcends the visual.  

So colour me Elvish as I spotted this story at the BBC about the social impact of the trilogy beginning in the 1960s.  It’s well worth the read and brings back a lot of memories from my early days in the anti-war movement and the gay rights movement. 

Truth be told - - I had a "Frodo Lives!" tee-shirt in 1969.

From the BBC:

Hobbits and hippies: Tolkien and the countercultureIt was a time of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. Not to mention protest against the Vietnam War and marches for civil rights and the women’s movement. Who would think a figurehead for this social upheaval would be a tweedy Christian philologist at Oxford? But during the 1960s, a time of accelerating social change driven in part by 42 million Baby Boomers coming of age, Tolkien’s The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings became  required reading for the nascent counterculture, devoured simultaneously by students, artists, writers, rock bands and other agents of cultural change. The slogans ‘Frodo Lives’ and ‘Gandalf for President’ festooned subway stations worldwide as graffiti.
Middle Earth, JRR Tolkien’s meticulously detailed and mythic alternate universe, was created against the backdrop of two world wars.  As a professor at Oxford , Tolkien taught Anglo-Saxon, Old Icelandic and medieval Welsh and translated Beowulf, which inspired his later monsters. His fantasy vision, and his sense of evil looming over the good life, was shaped by his devout Catholicism and his experience serving in World War I, in which he lost all but one of his close friends.  “The Dead Marshes and the approaches to the Morannon owe something to northern France after the Battle of the Somme," he wrote in a 1960 letter. Frodo and Sam struggling to reach Mordor is a cracked mirror reflection of the young soldiers caught in the blasted landscape and slaughter of trench warfare on the Western Front.

For decades, fans have been obsessed with Tolkien’s Great War of the Ring, with its wizards and magicians, the legions of hobbits, dwarves, elves, orcs, giants, ents, the dragon Smaug guarding his treasure and the threatening Dark Lord. They were popular initially but sales of The Hobbit (published in 1937) and The Lord of the Rings (beginning in 1954) exploded in the mid-1960s, driven by a young generation charmed by Tolkien’s imaginative abundance, the splendour of his tales from a pre-Christian time and his obsessive cataloguing of the history, language and geography of his invented world. But deeper than this, certain aspects of Tolkien’s worldview matched the perspective of hippies, anti-war protestors, civil rights marchers and others seeking to change the established order. In fact, the values articulated by Tolkien were ideally suited for the 1960s counterculture movements. Today we'd think of Tolkien’s work as being aligned with the geek set of Comic-Con, but it was once closer to the Woodstock crowd.

Go and read the rest of it HERE.

Note: Even if these are available as ebooks, I wouldn't buy them. The thought of all the typos and other misspellings would haunt me for whatever time I have left on this earth.  So, there! My old Hard Covers are it for the next couple of weeks.

I am amazed

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Into The Woods - Trailer.

It's taken a long time to get this play to the screen.

Anticipation: Sondheim, Rob Marshall, Musical Score.

Apprehension: Disney Studios.

Unuf said.
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Star Wars Caturday

More later.
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PSB: Hold On!

From their 2012 album "Elysium"

As I've mentioned before I almost always wake up with a song running around in my head. It usually drives me nuts until I find the recording and play it through. Don't know why. This is the tune I woke up with sloshing around in my head this morning. Although I like the song and what it means, a lot, I have no idea why it made a home for itself in my head last night.  But it did.

Another shut-in day, but I am slowly sorting through the most confusing paper work encountered so far.  I fear it will only get worse as the Repubs get their hands on things very soon.

Oh well, think positive thoughts, eh?

And so it goes.

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Biblical Caturday

Back by popular demand...mine!

More later
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Queen of Swords

Drew this as the card of the day and while I’ve drawn her many times over the years, her true meaning just slapped me in the head. I’ve just come to recognize my own Queen of Swords.  It’s Linda! She is everything described and no matter where she appears in a reading she is always true to her nature.

Interesting this, because I just learned that Linda must return to Ireland this weekend.  This time for a health check of her own. The mammogram performed on her last visit (she keeps her Irish health insurance since the cost of similar American coverage is prohibitive) has shown a couple of anomalies. She wanted to wait a few weeks until things settled down with the restaurant and with my situation, but her wee mother put her tiny foot down, so her flight leaves Saturday evening. 

She’ll  have the series of tests on Monday with results returned the Monday following, so barring any immediate health issue, she should be back in the States on or about the 20th. of November. 

She’s worried about me getting the healthcare I need. I have labs again next Thursday 13, November,  followed by an office visit with the Oncologist on Friday the 14th. 

I insisted that with the daily progress I’m making, I ought to be able to drive myself both days; they’re a week away after all. 

I think all will be well by then, but convincing a stubborn Irish Lass (yes, she takes after her Mum!) will take some doing.  Still, it is what it is and I’ve had more personal care than I ever thought possible over these past weeks, so whatever…I’ve been blessed.

After all that said and done, the afternoon at DL has been postponed for today. I’ve become weaker throughout the day with the pain increasing in my legs and back, as well.  Some other time will have to do. I don’t want to over-reach or push myself only to end up with a relapse and another hospital stay.

I am not ready for that again.

I am amazed.

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Debbie Reynolds to receive lifetime SAG award

Don’t know how I missed this news from the BBC, Singin’ in the Rain being my favorite musical of all time with An American in Paris coming in a close second. When I was 6 years old the reason for my love of the movie was certainly not Debbie.  No, it was Gene Kelly’s Ass!  Pure and simple. Yes, I most definitely was born this way!  But that’s a story for another time.

From BBC News:

Veteran screen star Debbie Reynolds is to be given a lifetime achievement award by the Screen Actors Guild (SAG), the organisation has announced. The 82-year-old, whose credits include Singin' In The Rain and TV sitcom Will and Grace, will receive her accolade at the SAG awards ceremony on 25 January. 

Reynolds, mother of Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher, has also headlined a show at her own casino in Las Vegas. The award is the highest honour bestowed by the actors guild. It is given out each year to an individual who represents "the highest ideals of the acting profession". 

SAG president Ken Howard called Reynolds, who has been in showbusiness for 66 years, "a tremendously talented performer with a diverse body of screen and stage work". "Her generous spirit and unforgettable performances have entertained audiences across the globe, moving us all from laughter to tears and back again," he added.
Reynolds kick-started her career at the age of 16 by winning the Miss Burbank competition, where she was spotted by film studio executives.She had apparently entered the contest with the hope of winning a blouse and a scarf. 

The performer went on to appear in more than 50 movies, making her official screen debut in 1950. She was nominated for an Oscar for her lead role in The Unsinkable Molly Brown, while her other notable roles included The Tender Trap and, later in her career, as Liberace's mother in Behind The Candelabra (2013). 

Reynolds also established a collection of Hollywood memorabilia containing hundreds of items, which was displayed at her Las Vegas hotel before being sold off to private collectors three years ago. 

Anticipating retirement in 1979, she also opened a facility in Hollywood where performers could rehearse in comfort, which has been used by Cher, Michael Jackson and Johnny Depp. But the performer continued working, stating in a 2011 interview that she intends to keep going until she "kicks it". 

Other figures who have received SAG's lifetime achievement honour over the years include Rita Moreno, who collected the award earlier this year, Shirley Temple, Elizabeth Taylor and James Cagney.

I am puzzled by something omitted from this story and that is, there is no mention of her Broadway musical “Irene” opening in 1973 where she had a three year run before the show went to London in 1976. An old friend was in that show and in the photo below. It is the original cast of Irene reunited for some reason. Friend Dennis is in the back row, second from the left. He's artistic director of his own theater company now. (As you can see, we share the same hairdo nowadays, too.)  I am so proud of him I could burst.

I've mentioned this before;  Dennis and I were born a few hours apart on the same day, same year, and until our mid-teens lived 10 houses away from one another in the same cul-de-sac, in New Orleans. 

And so it goes.

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Edvard Munch's Caturday

Sometimes I feel this way, too.
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Throwback Thursday: NYC

Westside Highway El and Hudson River - 1979-80 (Click any image to embiggen.)

This decorative art deco designed wall was actually the right side of an entrance ramp from West Street up to the elevated section of the old West Side Highway, just south of the  Village. These were narrow roadways. Vehicles entered from the left in the photo and were northbound as they entered the highway above. This is where my Raleigh and I would usually enter the otherwise closed roadway, ride north and get off at 57th Street. Or, ride back if I was only out for an afternoon ride.

The remains of the Christopher Street Pier. A great place for villagers to get some sun, cruise, and have lunch by the river. One may have been asked to share a sandwich with someone already there. No strings. The Hudson didn’t stink so much anymore in those days. Thanks to Pete Seeger and his Clearwater Project. The pier was torn down a short time later. Note: This seemed the perfect shot with that beautiful schooner heading up river just about dead center amidst destruction.

Don’t remember the name of this pier, but it mirrors the previous state of the Christopher St. Pier and most piers south of it.  It too, came tumbling down within a few months. As did all the others in the years that followed.

And yes, another picture on the EL with the grand view of the Hudson and the New Jersey docks.  Behind me, on my right, those green buildings were (if memory serves) the docks for the Hoboken Ferries that ran from Manhattan to Hoboken. They were run by the Port of Authority or PATH. I don’t think they were in operation at the time.

I loved my life back then, village life, great friends, good job - and tending bar part-time at a village bar - enjoying everything Gotham had to offer. I lived there at just the right time (for me) to take it all in. 

And so it goes.

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Free Day

For the first time in recent memory I actually slept in until 11 am today.  Unheard-of for me. Had made a couple of lists of possible things to do and places to visit, but ultimately, following a brief time on the beach as people enjoyed lunch on the benches by the ocean, I returned to the apartment, read a few blogs, ran a load of laundry, and found yet another box of sweaters in the deepest recesses of the closet. (Maybe if I keep going back I'll eventually be welcomed to Narnia.) These were vacuum-sealed many years a go, so I don’t know what to expect. 

I’ll break the seal and let them expand overnight. I have no idea what to expect or what sweaters these might be. Meanwhile, I’ve been thinking about a new book to read. Finished the London Blitz Diary last night.  Quite good, that. Yes, I know we were subjected to quite severe rationing in this country, but at least we weren’t bombed daily or nightly for over a year.  I don’t know how they remained calm, let alone sane, when at any moment your home could be brought down upon your head.

There are a few other books waiting in the wings: the 2nd. in The Magicians trilogy, a diary of a road trip through India, another historic novel of the year leading to the Civil War 1860-61, and a bio of Nikola Tesla. 

I don’t know which I will begin this evening, but it will likely be one of these. Unless they fail to turn me on, then it’s time for an online search. I am always tempted to re-read something from my past to see if it holds up.  Usually it does, but I’m hoping to discover new writers who give me characters I can identify with and writing that holds my attention.

The body is sore from neck to thighs, but feeling rested, and the quiet is good for me today. It looks like the pre-school has moved out, so that’s another plus. No squealing kiddies to annoy the neighbors, or myself.  A very good thing, if it remains true.

I think I’ll indulge myself this evening with a Sazerac cocktail before supper. I can’t remember the last time I had one - maybe it was on the NOLA trip a year ago this week. That ought to make a difference in my soreness and level of pain.

And so it goes.

Just a Thought: Superhero

I totally agree.
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Movie Memories and Music

OK, this is going to be one of those “Brain Fog” posts, so do try to keep up, or at least hang on as long as you feel it’s worth it.

Death has taken away some very special people recently, including Sir Richard Attenborough. Now you may have thought I'd be thinking more of Joan Rivers, but no, my friends. It’s Sir Richard for me this time round.

A brilliant character actor, dramatic actor, great clown, and one of the finest directors the film world has ever seen.  I was reading an Obit penned by his naturalist brother, Sir David, who is a genius in his own right, and putting the 2 together made me think of (hang on here) the original Dr. Dolittle film which starred Rex Harrison as Doctor D., Samantha Eggar, Anthony Newley, and Sir

Richard who played a jovial chap with an extraordinary animal in his company.  The famous “Push-me-Pull-you” as seen above (you had to be there).

Anyway, Attenborough provided a brief and sparkling presence and as I remember, larger than life, even for such a far fetched concept.  You believed.

Apropos of nothing.  Leslie Bricusse (Anthony Newley’s writing partner of many years) wrote a very touching song for the film that suddenly gave me an ear-worm. It's a love song.  Here is a cover of that song by Linda Eder: 

Beautiful, no?  No ifs, ands, or buts, about it. Well, now here’s the song from the soundtrack of the film sung by the Doctor, Rex Harrison.  Guess who he’s singing to and for whom the song was originally written?  You’ll hear it at the very end of the song; the last phrase.

Beautiful, just beautiful. Dear Sophie. 

Isn’t it strange how our chemo-saturated, addled brains toss thoughts about like small boats in a swift moving stream? Just another trip through the Pointless Forest, sans Oblio & Arrow. How my choo-choo-train of thought brought me to this place is beyond me, but I’ve enjoyed the trip.  I hope you did, too.

And so it goes.

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Just a Thought: Oysters

Closer to Heaven than you can even imagine.

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Chemo, Crisis, Happy Hour & The Cloud

Third day of the final 7 for this cycle of Chemo and it’s another whole new

misadventure. Rash has returned to the arms, hands and wrists are swollen to double their normal size, and skin is flaking off of my body - everywhere. Charming, no?

Mini-crisis yesterday when I spiked a fever before the Chemo injections.  Temperature had to be brought down before the OK was given to go ahead. Took about 1.5 hours.  Like, forever!

This meant that Happy Hour with Sasha was  postponed until today.  And it worked out well for us both. Since we were both out on the road and out of town, it was easy to text and coordinate times for the meet up and cocktails. We settled on FINS, one of the restaurants that also has a place in town, but same owners, staff, chefs, etc. Sasha was a few minutes late, having to pick up one of his sons at Day Care, and return him home.

We made up for lost time quickly. He had lots to talk about and I was happy to listen. Not much for me to share except for the daily adventures in medical care and that’s just way too repetitious. We caught up on everything possible, the summer season, customers who still ask for me, and his concern for my health, while knocking back HH drink specials, chowing down on fresh, hot & spicy boiled shrimp, oysters, and fish and chips. 

We stayed way beyond HH, but the barman charged us at the HH prices for our extra drinks.  Nice gesture. Although we didn’t know them by name, the bar staff knew us from the business, too and treated us very well.

One barman tagged me as gay and so when Sasha arrived assumed we were a couple.  After 2 drinks Sasha started playing along. This particular barman was not amused and began to ignore us until one of the other guys set him straight - so to speak. It was funny really, because Sasha gave me a big hug before we left the pub, then another one outside the front door.  He said, let’s fuck with his homophobic head, shall we? As we parted, he kissed me on both cheeks, then the mouth.  What can I say…he’s Russian!!!

He’s taking his lovely wife out to dinner for her birthday tonight to a favorite restaurant from when they were dating - before marriage and the boys. It’s to be a surprise and our little get together was a great way to throw her off any scent she may have had about his plans. 

Sasha is not yet 30 and an incurable romantic. He loves his wife very much and it’s a joy to watch them when they’re together in public. Very low key, but very devoted to one another. 

Needless to say the bar food was more than enough for me - more than I’ve had at one sitting in a while, but it was so good to be with my friend, laughing, drinking, eating, and trading stories that I’ll sleep well tonight.

Now if only the itching and swelling would disappear life would be very good indeed.  

Bother!  I’ve supposedly downloaded the new (free) U2 album from iTunes, but I  can’t find it. I don’t know how to use the damned cloud and there is no button on the page to offer guidance. Another one of those “Apple is so simple, it’s right in front of your face, but you don’t see it” kind of things.

In all fairness to myself, I have never downloaded music from iTunes. Only copied my own music CDs into the program then shared with the phone and iPod.  And this content resides on the hard drive, not the cloud. No idea where to start looking. Sigh.

And so it goes.

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Just a Thought: Life

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Out of the Blue - In Kilts!

"Don't You Want Me" Recorded live at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I just love these guys. They love what they do, work hard at it, and do it so well.

The link was sent by a visitor who read about my Labor Day Happy Hour adventure and wearing my kilt. She said, "I hope this makes your day."

It did. "Boing - Boing"

And so it goes.
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Throwback Thursday: Pennsylvania

Washington's Crossing on the Delaware River and New Hope and the historic Delaware Canal.  With friends, Autumn 1977

Delaware River near Washington's Crossing. 

Delaware River Looking to Lambertville, NJ

With longtime friend, Ted.

Historic Delaware Canal Barge Tours

With friends, Harry & Ted on Lambertville-New Hope Bridge across the Delaware River.

Downstream look at the Historic Delaware Canal.

(Click here for more recent info on the historic canal.)

Harry and Ted were off work and it promised to be a glorious Autumn weekend. Harry, from Australia, had never seen much outside of NYC. We settled on this little outing and said, "Hello, Avis?" Car rentals were the quickest, easiest and least expensive transportation out of Gotham back then. We did it often.

We had breakfast at a cafe in New Hope then absorbing all the historic information we could, made a picnic in the woods near Washington's Crossing.

And so it goes.
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