The Ring Goes South & That Card Again.

I am not sure whether I ought to be spooked, or freaked (2 very different experiences), grateful and curious, or give myself a slap upside the head for missing something important that this card is trying impart to me.

As you can see in the side bar, this is the card of the month - second time in a row. It has popped up as card of the day again today - the second time in the first 10 days of December.  I know shuffling the deck is not an issue. I am very careful with that, almost religiously so. This is uncanny.

Sat up most of the night in pain reading, or trying to. Between the shoulder, left arm, wrist and the leg swelling, painkillers didn’t have a chance. Pain was so intense at times the nausea kicked in big time. Compazine helped - but not with the pain. There was no way to ignore it. 

So I decided to pull my card for today and, well, imagine my surprise when this one comes up again. Everything I read about it points to having a lovely time, enjoying love and friendships, and lots of happy, strong emotions.  

But, while I’m in great pain?  I think not.

I’m more than half way through my annual reading of LOTR - about midway through The Two Towers - occasionally finding a bit of info that I’ve missed in past years, making one more part of the trilogy fall into place. With the arm out of service I’ve been unable to write these down, but I think I’ll remember enough as some of the characters (or their heirs) play a part of the final book.  I’m reading more quickly and more intensely than in other years. I guess I need more concentration this time round to pull me through.

The struggle to put on clothes begins shortly. Jeffrey will pick me up at 8 for a few appointments, then I have a few scrips to get at the pharmacy followed by a CTScan before I can head home and return to the peace and warmth of my bed.

The storm system moving through has me moving carefully and with someone’s help. Can’t afford to dislocate the right arm now. I’ll be happy when the trials and demands of the day are over.

And so it goes.

I Lied. Never Say Never.

Unintentionally, of course.  You see, I didn’t mean to, but I spoke wrote before I knew I had this particular, weighty (ahem!) problem.  Some would say I ought to have known beforehand, but I've had other business on my mind,  dontcha know...Anyway.

There is a disturbance in the FORCE! (Sorry, wrong metaphor.) I found out the hard way that I cannot read the LOTR books. My hands and fingers are too weak to hold the hard cover volume for any length of time. 

The problem may be due to the cancer, causing weakness in joints and muscles.  It might also be the arthritis which I have in both hands. The fingertips become numb on occasion. I can no longer tell if the pain in the hands - like the pain in the legs - is due to the cancer nowadays, or still the arthritis.

I’ve tried reading with the book propped on my chest, but the weight and size are too clumsy and the book slips out of my mostly useless thumbs. The thought that reading the entire trilogy would have to take place sitting at desk or table, instead of snuggled up in bed, was more than I could take.

So, I did what I said I “would never do” I hunted down and purchased the entire trilogy in one volume. It turns out to be a Kindle Edition with surprisingly good reviews. 

I’ve proof-read the first 3 chapters and compared each edition. Though the script of the Elves is very small, so far, so good. The Kindle version is the authorized Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Co. edition.  Total cost was $9.00, delivered in less than 2 minutes, and I am a happy camper.  Now to continue the annual read that is certainly going to take my mind off being a shut-in most of the time this winter. 

Just shows to go ya; never say never. 

I am amazed.

*

The Scots, Shorter Turkey Day, & Shopping UK

Finished the ebook “How the Scots Invented the Modern World” and highly recommend it for history buffs and Anglophiles for a quick and easy, insightful read. I am sure Ur-Spo would enjoy it. And maybe even Ron at (Retired in Delaware) since he's into genealogy and family histories. In fact, anyone who enjoys the historic connections between the Britons and the Americans will learn a great deal that we didn’t read about in our history books. 

The Scottish Enlightenment, the brutal, horrific Highland Clearances, the great thinkers and doers, the proud and wide-spread Philosophy of Scottish Educational System. Absolutely fascinating. It was probably a quick read because so many real life characters were written in a way that made their historic deeds and past lives before - and during - the diaspora that much more interesting. I  hope that makes sense.

I am now on to LOTR which ought to take me well into December and away from anything and everything unpleasant. Since these are real wood-pulp books, they’ll be more of a chore to lug to and from medical appointments, but we’ll get it done.

Special Alert: Today I am in a quandary and I need help.  No matter how much I clear out the one, single closet in this apartment, there is always more to find. I came upon two more large tubs today containing items that must be identified, sorted, cleaned (if usable) thrown away (if not) and that may just be the one thing a shopper at the Thrift store is looking for. I don’t know where it is all coming from and half is unrecognizable. Now Back to Regular Blogging.

I am not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Never really liked the holiday as a kid - too much family mishugass ending in arguments and creating bad feelings

too close to the real holidays.  We weren’t a sports kind of family, so verbally beating up on relatives was the order of the day. As a kid I remember that after helping clean up the kitchen my refuge was the  bedroom where I would listen to music or read for the duration. I was never missed.

Only as a gay adult in a “stable” relationship did I begin relating to the holiday. My house became the go-to place for wayward gays and lesbians with no other place to go. From NYC and NJ, to the Delaware shore. Over the years it became a tradition.  The first year there were 5 waifs; over the years the numbers fluctuated from 5 to 11 and it was all good fun. I usually did the cooking - others brought side dishes or desserts - and everyone else cleaned up.  We'd listen to music, dance and/or watch movies on the teevee machine. Spanning the eras from Vinyl to CD; VHS to DVDs.  Very relaxing times. That life, all those people are long gone. It’s a day like any other, albeit a quieter one and I don’t miss the work and fuss one tiny bit. 

It has been over a month since I ordered the “V” shape pillow from the company in the UK.  It has now been 26 days since I received word that the package had been ‘dispatched’ but to this date, the package has not yet arrived. 

The reply to my request of “Hey! What Gives” returned a familiar excuse to us Americans - “it’s the busiest time of year for the Royal Mail as it is absolutely swamped, so please be patient and give it another 3 to 5 days.”  Well, what else can I do?  They have my money and the damned thing is somewhere between the UK and the US, probably in a small steam powered boat chugging it's way across the Atlantic.  Hhrumph!

I think I’ll partake of one of those Scottish imports that must get old to be respectfully enjoyed.  A bit of single malt Scotch Whisky.  But, that’s for much later…

I am amazed.

*

The Ring. That Time of Year, Again.

Every year at this time (usually earlier, hospital got in the way) I read The Lord of the Rings, again. I have done so since 1971 when the trilogy was still riding high with young people and in colleges around the world. 

It began innocently enough: like most others who had read the books, there was this feeling that we missed so much on first read that we had to read it again.  And, of course, that was very, very true. In fact, each year when I read the trilogy I find some new bit of text I could swear wasn’t there before - yet I am reading from the same old hard cover books I’ve had since 1974.

I do love the films and watch them from time to time, (all hail Peter Jackson and Philippa Boyens!) but there is something about submerging oneself in Tolkien’s written text and imagination and allowing it to wash over you that transcends the visual.  

So colour me Elvish as I spotted this story at the BBC about the social impact of the trilogy beginning in the 1960s.  It’s well worth the read and brings back a lot of memories from my early days in the anti-war movement and the gay rights movement. 

Truth be told - - I had a "Frodo Lives!" tee-shirt in 1969.

From the BBC:

Hobbits and hippies: Tolkien and the countercultureIt was a time of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. Not to mention protest against the Vietnam War and marches for civil rights and the women’s movement. Who would think a figurehead for this social upheaval would be a tweedy Christian philologist at Oxford? But during the 1960s, a time of accelerating social change driven in part by 42 million Baby Boomers coming of age, Tolkien’s The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings became  required reading for the nascent counterculture, devoured simultaneously by students, artists, writers, rock bands and other agents of cultural change. The slogans ‘Frodo Lives’ and ‘Gandalf for President’ festooned subway stations worldwide as graffiti.
Middle Earth, JRR Tolkien’s meticulously detailed and mythic alternate universe, was created against the backdrop of two world wars.  As a professor at Oxford , Tolkien taught Anglo-Saxon, Old Icelandic and medieval Welsh and translated Beowulf, which inspired his later monsters. His fantasy vision, and his sense of evil looming over the good life, was shaped by his devout Catholicism and his experience serving in World War I, in which he lost all but one of his close friends.  “The Dead Marshes and the approaches to the Morannon owe something to northern France after the Battle of the Somme," he wrote in a 1960 letter. Frodo and Sam struggling to reach Mordor is a cracked mirror reflection of the young soldiers caught in the blasted landscape and slaughter of trench warfare on the Western Front.

For decades, fans have been obsessed with Tolkien’s Great War of the Ring, with its wizards and magicians, the legions of hobbits, dwarves, elves, orcs, giants, ents, the dragon Smaug guarding his treasure and the threatening Dark Lord. They were popular initially but sales of The Hobbit (published in 1937) and The Lord of the Rings (beginning in 1954) exploded in the mid-1960s, driven by a young generation charmed by Tolkien’s imaginative abundance, the splendour of his tales from a pre-Christian time and his obsessive cataloguing of the history, language and geography of his invented world. But deeper than this, certain aspects of Tolkien’s worldview matched the perspective of hippies, anti-war protestors, civil rights marchers and others seeking to change the established order. In fact, the values articulated by Tolkien were ideally suited for the 1960s counterculture movements. Today we'd think of Tolkien’s work as being aligned with the geek set of Comic-Con, but it was once closer to the Woodstock crowd.

Go and read the rest of it HERE.

Note: Even if these are available as ebooks, I wouldn't buy them. The thought of all the typos and other misspellings would haunt me for whatever time I have left on this earth.  So, there! My old Hard Covers are it for the next couple of weeks.

I am amazed

*

Hemoglobin and Homemade Jewish Penicillin

Taking one look at me the doctor was amazed that I’d broken nothing in the fall. Still swollen and badly bruised in places I can’t imagine would hit the floor in such a fall, unless I happen to bounce once or twice. Now, there’s an image for you.

Hemoglobin still lower than it ought to be, so I received another unit of blood this afternoon. I thought this might be the case, so I prepared in advance. Nexus was fully charged and helped make the 3.5 hours go that much faster. I seem to be on an Historical novel kick at present that are engaging, fairly well written, with special attention to even minor historic bits.

One of the volunteers made home cooked chicken noodle soup, you know, Jewish Penicillin, and brought it in to go with the lunch sandwiches prepared for the patients.  I love the soup, but the packaged stuff is so full of salt and preservatives that I almost never eat it, except in emergencies.  I had a huge mug of the stuff and it was perfect. 

I feel better this evening. Hoping to sleep better tonight, as well. I should feel the positive impact of extra platelets and blood by tomorrow. I have no where to go and no errands to run, so I’ll stick close to home and maybe do some laundry.

And since it’s beginning of Autumn I may just make a big pot of soup myself.  I should have the energy to make that happen.

Right now I am exhausted. Completely wrung out and ready to sleep into the new day feeling like new again.  May it be so.

And so it goes.

* 

Free Day

For the first time in recent memory I actually slept in until 11 am today.  Unheard-of for me. Had made a couple of lists of possible things to do and places to visit, but ultimately, following a brief time on the beach as people enjoyed lunch on the benches by the ocean, I returned to the apartment, read a few blogs, ran a load of laundry, and found yet another box of sweaters in the deepest recesses of the closet. (Maybe if I keep going back I'll eventually be welcomed to Narnia.) These were vacuum-sealed many years a go, so I don’t know what to expect. 

I’ll break the seal and let them expand overnight. I have no idea what to expect or what sweaters these might be. Meanwhile, I’ve been thinking about a new book to read. Finished the London Blitz Diary last night.  Quite good, that. Yes, I know we were subjected to quite severe rationing in this country, but at least we weren’t bombed daily or nightly for over a year.  I don’t know how they remained calm, let alone sane, when at any moment your home could be brought down upon your head.

There are a few other books waiting in the wings: the 2nd. in The Magicians trilogy, a diary of a road trip through India, another historic novel of the year leading to the Civil War 1860-61, and a bio of Nikola Tesla. 

I don’t know which I will begin this evening, but it will likely be one of these. Unless they fail to turn me on, then it’s time for an online search. I am always tempted to re-read something from my past to see if it holds up.  Usually it does, but I’m hoping to discover new writers who give me characters I can identify with and writing that holds my attention.

The body is sore from neck to thighs, but feeling rested, and the quiet is good for me today. It looks like the pre-school has moved out, so that’s another plus. No squealing kiddies to annoy the neighbors, or myself.  A very good thing, if it remains true.

I think I’ll indulge myself this evening with a Sazerac cocktail before supper. I can’t remember the last time I had one - maybe it was on the NOLA trip a year ago this week. That ought to make a difference in my soreness and level of pain.

And so it goes.

Reading to Escape & Books Out of Nowhere.

I’ve been reading waaay too much lately.  If my appetite for food was half of what it has been for books, I'd be bed-bound today. Not giving myself breathing space between books or genres as plots, characters, incidents, etc, all mash up together in my head. 

Aside from the original Pern books, I’ve already read most of those written after the initial trilogy, also, too. Heatstroke: nature in an age of global warming, Storm Clouds Rolling In:

1860-1861 (civil war beginnings), The Last Man, Tomorrowland - the 1964-65 NY World’s Fair, The Kinshield Saga (another trilogy), Moon Shot (Updated, 2011) - NASA’s beginnings from Mercury to Apollo by Alan Shepard & Deke Slayton, and The Magicians (book 1 of another trilogy) by Lev Grossman.

I'm looking forward to reading Outlander, but since it's almost 900 pages, think I'll wait until the weather changes and spending time outdoors will be even less frequent than now. There hasn't been much else to do being stuck at home, and all

that, but I had to come up for air. So, in an effort to free up brain space, and organize that already digested material, I set the eReader aside for a couple of days.

Then last evening I opened the iPad and discovered a book titled: World War II London Blitz Diary, Volume two, 1941. I have no idea where it came from - it’s not a Kindle title, I checked - or how long it’s been on the tablet. Although it sounded interesting and is something I would be curious about, especially British History and women’s history, I do not know how it  got on my iPad. I know I didn’t buy it.  Then I read the Overview:

Do you find yourself watching reality TV? Well, if you do, click off that set and head for the real thing. These diary entries, written 70 years ago by Ruby Thompson, who had to simultaneously put up with the Blitz bombing of London and a marriage that was as damaging to a woman's psyche as those Nazi bombs were to the city, will take you back to a time and put you in the middle of the history the way no boring textbook summary of the war could. What was it really like for the individuals who bore the fear, rationing, and destruction created by the Blitzkrieg against London? How were women stuck in bad marriages, held captive not only by convention, but by their own mindset that had been drilled into them from birth? Ruby's fierce intelligence, powers of observation, clear writing, and analysis of her miserable husband and unhappy marriage provide insight into both history and the psychological state of a woman stuck partly by her era and partly by her own sense of what was possible. A fascinating revelation for anyone interested in World history and women's history. 

Of course I don’t watch ‘reality TV’ or any other TV for that matter. But this peaked my curiosity. I read half of it last night before finally turning off the lights. I found it difficult to put down. Fascinating, deeply moving and embarrassingly personal at times.

The story behind how the diaries came to be published is a good tale in its own right.  This is book two of what I think is a trilogy - this woman was a prolific writer - candid and passionate.

I ran a few searches today and it turns out to be a Barnes & Noble NOOK title, which is probably why it’s on the iPad and not the Kindle reader. I wonder if it is possible for someone to send copies of NOOK books to other readers as it is from Kindle to Kindle.

Anyway, it’s a mystery, but I am the happy recipient of someone’s gift. As soon as I’ve finished the errands and chores for the day, it will be just the thing to take my mind off the fact that another round of Chemo begins this afternoon. Joy, anyway!

And so it goes.

*

The Dragons Header...

Yes, yes.  To answer seemingly burning questions in comments: The present header is an homage to the Anne McCaffrey Dragonriders of Pern books. I loved them when I first read them and even more this time around.

The graphic shows the difference in height of human to various colored dragons. The Gold Queens, Bronzes, Browns, Blues, and Greens.  To know how these sizes make sense to the story, you gotta read 'em.

Look up the book series and give them a try. They're available in paperback and eBook/Kindle editions.  You may be pleasantly surprised.

I've been told that I'd like Game of Thrones because of the dragons. Well, that may be true, but they'd better be smart and human compatible.

Meanwhile, those beautiful dragons are the current header.  Enjoy it and read the books, if you like.  No pressure. Just don't question my choice of headers. The Lion will be back at some point.  I love him too.

And so it goes.
*

Stirring up Trouble & Stir Fry

Just when I thought it was safe to take a short walk around town, there was an

attempted robbery - yes, here in town - and the summer rent-a-cops are having a law-enforcement field day.

As I watched the chaos unfolding, hearing the shouts and crackling radios, I realized no one knew what he or she was doing. So, I did an about-face and returned home. The walk will wait for another day.

After the morning lab work and Neupogen shot, I stopped at the market for veggie fixin’s - red pepper, snow peas, bamboo shoots, spring onions, and broccoli.  I’ve been on a stir-fry kick lately. Wokking everything in sight; chicken, pork, beef are alternately on the menu. Nothing is safe from my Wok! Such cooking adds spice and zip to my otherwise bland diet. I need the extra zip because my taste buds are not functioning well and spicing things up helps a lot.

Tonight will be sliced pork in a hoisin and peanut sauce. With sticky rice, of course. There is usually enough  left over for another meal, so when I am tired and don’t feel like cooking, it’s pork stir-fry magical microwave time.  Supper in less than 10 minutes.

Just received a text from Linda, the wee Irish Lass, and my old GM at Dos Locos, wanting to set up a Happy Hour Birthday Celebration with me this week. I had hoped no one would remember, but no such luck. She ticked off 5 options, informing me that there will be at least 4 other folks involved and that I will be picked up and delivered home for the occasion. No Ifs - Ands - Buts about it. She asked what I wanted for my birthday…I chose not to share my real wish.

The final Neupogen shot happens tomorrow along with a double transfusion session, so I suggested we aim for Thursday afternoon.  With new blood coursing through my veins I should have the energy of a bear and will likely be more positive about the whole affair than I am right now. 

Still, it’s nice that she is thinking of me and wants to spend some quality time with me. (Ahem! What she really wants to do is get me drunk with friends. She may just succeed.) She and the other 4 cohorts are former co-workers of mine at Dos Locos, so it ought to be a hell of a good time.

Meanwhile, many of the ebooks I’ve downloaded in the resent past have been rejected for one reason or another. Bad writing, editing, proofing, and storytelling...and I don't think I'm that hard to please.

I find myself wanting to revisit books read many years ago.  I also find that they hold up better, writing-wise, than most of the new product on the market. Then imagine my surprise when, today I found another Pern book from the Dragon series. Of course, I downloaded it,  “The Dolphins of Pern” will be special (read distracting) for tomorrow while being transfused.  

Sometimes life does indeed suck, but this isn’t one of those times.

And so it goes.

The Ultimate, Supreme, Ultimatum Kind of Day

After yesterday’s two units, four injections, three tiny tablets, and a single gel cap, it’s a wonder I had any kind of appetite left last night.  

Translation: That was 2 units of fresh blood, 1 injection of Benadryl, 1 of Lasix, 3 tiny tabs of an unpronounceable anti-nausea med, 1 gel-cap of potassium, and 2 injections of the Chemo.  I think that was the ultimate out-patient experience one could have in a single day. I was totally exhausted…

But, I did have an appetite. I had enough energy to create a stir-fry beef with veggies after the long day at the Center.  It was quite good, considering the fewer tastebuds at my disposal.

Got a call from the Locosguys last night to say how much they miss me.  Eight or nine co-workers grabbed the phone just to yell  “Hello, I miss you”.  Then a few customers got into the act, too. And, you know, as strange as it may sound, I  recognized their individual voices. I guess that’s telling about how much I miss not being there. The call had the usual effect of alternately lifting my spirits and sending me into a mild depression. OK, I’ll take both, then. Better than feeling nothing at all.

On today’s gay agenda, it was day-three for the twin Chemo injections (did you follow that?), and a shot each of Potassium and Lasix. The combination seems to be bringing down the swelling in the feet and ankles, albeit slower than I’d hoped.

The soreness and pain I felt initially is gone, (only the swelling remains) and I had wanted to take my morning walk, but the rains put a damper (ouch! sorry.) on that idea. I could swear those walks help, not aggravate the situation because I always feel better afterwards.  Oh well, maybe tomorrow. 

It was ultimately decided by the Oncologist and nursing staff that the Port-a-Cath has to go. It’s not healing and the rim is about to poke through the top layer of skin. It cannot be used for labs or infusion - the very reasons it was implanted.  So, I called the surgeon to check schedules and when she can do the

deed.  The sooner the better, from what they tell me at the Center.  However, she’s in surgery all day today, so I may not hear anything until tomorrow.

Hurry up - and wait!  Hurry up - and wait…I’m getting pretty good at this.  Think Pavlov’s dog.

A curious message from the local book store owner sent me there on the way home this afternoon.  He’d received a recently published book on Tarot, specifically the symbolism of the Rider Waite Deck. so I went to check it out.  

Titled “The Ultimate Guide to the Rider Waite Tarot” Published a few years ago in Germany, this is the first American printing. Printed on high gloss fine paper with very handsome card reproductions, it was a surprise.

The book offers in-depth explanations of each card’s tableau, as well as details for each card’s basic meaning as: spiritual experience, card of the day, prognosis, love & relationships, success & happiness. And yes, I bought it. 

And, I have a great excuse for the purchase. It will be intensive reading while in bed for hours with my feet elevated to reduce the swelling.  How’s that?  Well, that’s my story and I am sticking to it.  Though in truth, that is where I can be found most of the time. Damn it!

A Stir-fry is on the menu (again) tonight.  Shrimp this time. Light, quick protein and veggies.  Yes!  I need it. Wish I didn't have to prepare it, but I am hungry.  Always a good thing.

Uh-oh! The new hat has just arrived via Fed-Ex. I am afraid to open the package.  Maybe tomorrow I'll muster up the courage to open it.  But, no promises on that.  It depends on how sunny the day will be.  And all that.  If it's sunny and I need it for a walk, I guess I'll have to go with it, won't I?

Oh, for pete's sake.  It's a hat.  Take it out, wear it, enjoy it. It is who I am now. It is what it is.  I must keep repeating this to myself over and over, until I believe it and totally buy into it.  May take a while.

And so it goes.

*

Goodbye to Pern

I’ve read - or re-read - every one of the dragons of Pern books written by Anne McCaffrey. Also one or two co-written by Anne and son Todd. Haven’t braved reading any additional books written by Todd alone. He might just break the spell for me.

I’ve just finished the Harperhall Trilogy, which for some reason, she wrote as a stand-alone treat.  Truth is, the Harperhall books introduce certain characters already an integral part of the original trilogy. The background stories of these characters are embellished; their interconnectedness dovetails nicely into the entire series making fascinating reading for anyone who loves the world of Pern.

  

Unfortunately, for some reason known only to the publishers, the Harperhall trilogy (seen above) is not available for e-readers, only in paper cover.  I sprang for them only after checking with the library for possible availability. The library has the original trilogy, but not the others in the vast series. 

It felt awkward reading from real paper after two years of Kindle (now Nexus 7). First of all, the text cannot be enlarged, so I required much more light, to which I found it difficult to adjust. However, I plodded on and made it through.

Hello, New Stuff!

Sad to see the Pern saga come to an end, but all things must pass (now, where have I heard that before?) so I went in search of new material. I am on a mailing list called “Book Bub” that shoots a short list of 3 or 4 sale items right to my inbox 7 days a week. You choose the genre or categories, and suggestions are sent right to your inbox. The books are always offered in Kindle format, but there are occasional options for downloading Apple and Nook version, as well.

Many titles are new, or relatively new, with some oldies, but goodies thrown in to the mix for a brief time (that’s how I snagged the original Dragonriders of Pern trilogy) - usually 24 hours, some longer - and cost anywhere from $2.99 to NOTHING. 

I purchased this series for 99 cents.

And this one was free. It’s book 1 of 6 originally published in 2011, and sounded interesting to me. We'll see. I've been disappointed before...

I just downloaded this one last night, again for free - for a limited time only. Published in 2009, it seems to be enjoying a resurgence in popularity, so I snatched it up. Looking forward to this one alot. 

Once you order books through Book Bub, they are yours.  No hidden charges, fees, or a borrower’s limitation. I can read them, or not, as I feel the urge. Or, leave them in the “Cloud” until I’m ready to tackle one or another.

So, between what’s in the “Cloud” and on the device itself, I would say I’m ready for anything.  Happy reading, all.

And so it goes.

*

After the Holiday, Discomfort

Or, something like that…

While mostly good weather stayed with us for the holiday weekend, things have gone down hill ever since. Sure, it may have been somewhat uncomfortable over the weekend, but most visitors could ignore it - being distracted by all the good times and social events. 

That’s over and reality has set in. It’s rained off and on every day all week. Even a few thunderstorms around. The temps have been in the 80s and the rain offers no relief for that situation. Just adds to the misery.

It’s been HOT, but high humidity and a very high pollen count has made just a bout everyone miserable. Allergies play no favorites. Local and visitor alike - all walking around sniffling, wiping runny eyes. 

Seems there’s little relief except in the ocean where the sea water seems to soothe the sinuses, offering some relief. Hasn’t bothered me much. I’ve even taken a few rides in the rain, mostly on back roads, just to get out of the city and apartment for a while. 

I’ve got Labs this morning with the possibility of transfusion later in the day, or tomorrow.  It’s been two weeks since my last transfusion, so we’ll see what the doctor says. 

I am no longer on the Chemo. He took me off a week ago when my white cells dropped into the basement and before I’d be forced to wear the isolation mask again.  Please, please.  Anything but that!!!

I’ve found another whole list of Pern books that I didn’t know about, or even that they existed. McCaffrey did a great job with character development - even with minor characters in the first books who play a greater roles as the storyline progresses.  It’s been great fun to read the back stories of some fave characters who were background noise in the first trilogy, as they become an integral part of the longer saga. 

There’s another trilogy devoted to the Harper Hall alone, as well as a biography of the early life of the Master Harper himself.  She has, indeed, created a lovely world and I am loving it.  Sure makes the boring time fly by, that’s for sure.

A blogger buddy suggested series, more recently published. “The Magicians” series by Lev Grossman.  They are all available in ebook form, too. The third in the series has just been published so if I like the first one, I can get the others without a long wait. 

On another note, the Locosguys left for NOLA yesterday, so I should be hearing something from them any time now. They did pick the dates (the beginning of hurricane season, and the rainy season down there, anyway)so there are few festivals or other distractions to intrude on their holiday.  They aren’t into jazz. In fact, I’m not sure what kind of  music they enjoy.  Again, not my problem.  Hope they enjoy the scenery, the food, and the local hospitality.  They deserve the brief rest.

Off to have blood drawn to make sure I didn’t die over this past week.  Cheers!

And so it goes.

*

A Fair Weekend and a World’s Fair

Turns out those Friday afternoon storms that caused the blackout/power outage lasted for about 3 hours tying up traffic, causing bad drivers to show their lack of driving abilities (as well as their bad tempers) and shutting down businesses on a 3-mile stretch of busy commercial real estate. 

As mentioned in the earlier post, the city of Rehoboth wasn’t affected, which (thankfully) is usually the case. The rains however, didn’t let up until late evening. Leaving us with a very quiet and peaceful night. 

Yesterday dawned with blue skies and mild winds and I got out to run a few errands.  Even went down to the beach, grabbed an iced coffee and sat on a bench by the ocean for a while before taking a walk on the boardwalk, and heading back home.  The fresh air was good for the soul and body.

The town is packed with people for the weekend and the weather is supposed to be lovely, in the 70s throughout. I want to get the shopping done early this morning before anyone begins to stir or get on the roads.  Also early enough that I can enjoy another iced coffee on the boardwalk before the hordes finish breakfast/brunch. 

Sounds like a good plan to me. The 2 units of blood seem to have boosted my energy level this weekend. Still not sleeping much, (the Benadryl only offers a few hours at best) but I’m not falling all over myself in a stupor, either. 

This is a new book I’m currently reading and since I worked at the 1964-65 New York World’s Fair it’s a eye-opening look at the overall picture of what NYC - and the world - was like during the years from 1960 through 1967 and how the events of the time played a big role in the failure of the Fair. Yes, Robert Moses was the biggest problem, but the entire country played a huge part in the changing attitudes of the times, mocking the message and theme of the World’s Fair both years. “Peace Through Understanding” was hardly a realistic outcry of the times. 

I’m little more than 60% through and it’s a good read. Anyway, it brings back memories and forces me to think of where I was while the world changing events were taking place all around me. I remember many of the incidents sited in the book only vaguely since I worked 6 - 7 days a week for the 2 years of the exhibition, spending the other hours either under ground on the subways to and from work, or at home, pretty much sleeping as much as possible. 

The fact that I would become part of the social unrest and the anti-war movement less than 2 years later, the gay rights movement 3 years later, makes me chuckle today.

That said, I made lots of money and had a great time. The Fair was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that I will never forget. I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.  The book is giving me an overall view of what I was only slightly aware of all those years ago.

And so it goes.

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Hogwarts Caturday

Now, where is that Horcrux??!??

More later.
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Song of the Golden Dragon

As I searched for more information of the other Pern books by Anne McCaffrey, this video popped up and seemed appropriate for the present reading situation.  I’m not making this up, you know!!!

I had heard of this Russian guitarist, Estas Tonne, before, but never seen him perform.  Quite a standout, if you ask me. Also, easy on the eyes.

One can almost visualize Ramoth as she rises to mate with the big Bronze.

More later.

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The Brink? Or Scenic Overlook?

It was foggy with a light drizzle. The drive to the Cancer Center was a challenge, but I made it; grateful the tea with ginger stayed down. It was a battle of will all the way, though. Physically, I was sliding downhill so fast that when I found a place to park, I had no energy for the walk to the doors.

How long before I cannot make the drive myself?

Spotted by one of the Lab nurses (I must have looked a frightful mess) she tapped on the window and offered to get a wheelchair, or help me inside herself. Not wanting to make a scene (or risk being swept off to hospital) I asked for her assistance. 

Once inside there was no waiting. I was wheeled (like it or not) back to Infusion and with 3 nurses hovering, prepped for the transfusion as vitals were taken. Most of what happened is a blur now but somewhere along the line a mild panic ensued when they discovered my fever.  I thought it had subsided, but I was wrong - it was now at 100.2 and usually a red light, for some reason. 

Blood pressure was very low (even before the Benadryl injection), the room was spinning, my stomach bouncing like a beach ball, my head was pounding and I couldn’t breathe. 

Other than that, everything was fine.  

Arranged comfortably in an infusion chair, covered with warm blankets and legs elevated,  I was given 2 Tylenol and a Compazine (sp?) and ordered to remain still and quiet as more blood was drawn to check for possible new infections. 

I’d lost an additional half-pound of body weight since the day before - on top of 2 pounds lost in the last week. What can I say? 

I nodded off, or passed out. I was disoriented when I came to, realized there was supposed to be a doctor appt before the transfusions and asked what happened. Seems the oncologist thought it best to start the blood products to settle me down first. He came in later, sat in an adjacent chair and went over treatment in the immediate future.  Anyway, this happened later, much later.

Took a while to find a good vein, but finally an IV drip was begun. When the nurse saw the multiple poke marks where porting was unsuccessful, she asked why I didn’t want a PICC port? Because I didn’t know if I was a candidate, or if I qualified, and no one ever suggested it, that’s why. She made a quick note for the doctor in my computer chart, patted my arm and began to pump the Benadryl as the new blood began to flow slowly. 

Vitals were checked again after 15 minutes - fever was down to 99.9, but blood pressure remained too low for their taste.  It was decided that another unit of blood was needed and I wouldn’t be going anywhere for the duration. Like I had somewhere to go?

Doctor arrived waving lab results and offering new suggestions for the next course of action.  Yes, it all happened like that and that fast. First, he studied the latest blood results and my answers to the usual “how you doing” questions. Wrote a prescription for an antibiotic to address the boils and acne, another one for compazine for the nausea, one more for the increased back pain (from lying in bed too long) and then got down to the next phase of my treatment.

He started the ball rolling for a new oral chemo drug called Revlimid.  Which turns out to be not that new, after all.  Revlimid is primarily used to treat anemia caused by Myelofibrosis and other myelodysplastic blood diseases. I say started the ball rolling because it seems this stuff requires a long drawn out procedure to get started. 

I am running out of patience with this long-drawn-out waiting shit and told him so.

Initially, the request is made for the drug from a special, authorized pharmacy (drug not available from your regular corner drug store) which can take up to 2 weeks for approval. The patient is contacted for who-the-fuck-knows what reasons, then the drug is delivered directly to the patient’s home. No, really.  I’m not making this up.

When the patient receives the drug a call must be made to the Cancer Center prior to the first dose.  The patient must report receipt of the drug to a specific person in the oncologist’s office. Don’t ask, there is no reason for, nor explanation given for this extra step.  

Keep in mind, this all hinges on the patient being accepted for the drug and by that I assume the patient’s ability to PAY. The insurance, if any, and the level of coverage the patient enjoys are, I am sure, major factors. 

As usual, the side effects read like a bad horror movie, and as usual, are downplayed as being “rare and isolated.”  Yeah, sure.. Uh-huh.

It was mid-afternoon by the time the second unit began flowing that the fever was down, the nausea was almost gone and while the BP remained low, it wasn’t in the danger zone. Oh, and I was one hungry puppy.  All good signs. 

Carefully, I picked at half of a chicken salad sandwich followed by a fruit cup and was pleased when all settled well. Must admit, that tiny bit of food filled me up quite well. Curious, that. 

The doctor’s nurse appeared with news that a PICC port had been approved, and gave instructions for the initial appointment with the surgeon assigned to the procedure.  This will be a permanent addition to my chest and eliminate the vein search problem once and for all.  Many patients sport them and seem to experience no discomfort.  I’m all for that.  No more blown veins!  Yay!

So in about 2 weeks time I will be implanted and there will be yet another new twist in my healthcare and my body. 

The sun was setting as I was released from all tubing and I was eyed carefully by the nurses as I made my way (on foot) out to the car. The prescriptions were waiting for pickup at the pharmacy, so I pushed myself to make that one stop before heading home. Though I staggered like a drunkard, I was successful and home within a half hour.

Changed clothes, made a tea, and began reading through the pile of new documents received (and signed for) throughout the day. Nice to be more coherent than when I left home this morning. What a difference new blood and a new medication can make in such a short time.

Back from the brink, again? How many more of these trips can one person endure? I wonder. The decline seems to occur more rapidly each time, but for some reason they don’t scare me as they used to.

Thanks to the pleasure of re-reading the “Pern” trilogy by Anne McCaffrey, I’ve been able to put most of the pain out of my mind this past week.  Even after 30+ years, the stories, human characters, dragons, events, and world of her books are still alive and well.  It’s been a great joy to rediscover that world and immerse myself in her characters and their lives.

I dare say at least one of them would make a great Pixar film.

Anyway, that’s enough. The long and short of it. I’m not well and so it’s off to bed - just me, my trusty painkillers, and my book.

And so it goes.

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Moria Caturday

"Fly, You Fools!

More later.
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New Tarot, New Desk, & Old Dragons.

Oh My!  The new Tarot deck arrived today. And it is magnificent! A nicely packaged kit and a deck I am anxious to learn - without benefit of the study guide. Well, it's not like I have a shortage of time on my hands,  now is it??? Quality of that time and the ability to concentrate are a whole 'nother story. 

The tax refunds have been deposited and I have decided to treat myself to a

personal luxury before the money goes to anything else. A new computer desk with stacked storage and of simple design. Spent the morning searching furniture, office, and computer accessory sites, including Overstock, Staples, and Amazon.  Narrowed the field to three options considering the floor space available, work space needed, and in the price range I gave myself.  I wanted something utilitarian, as well as light and airy.  No heavy, dark wood.  Life can be dark and heavy enough. Something of glass and metal with lots of room, shelf space, and storage options.

I found the right piece at Amazon, and with Amazon Prime shipping is free. The desk will require assembly, and will be delivered on Tuesday. Linda (the wee Irish Lass and GM at DL) has offered to assemble it for me. Since the delivery folks are not likely to bring the package up the stairs and into the apartment, Linda will pop over from the restaurant to help me bring it up in case of bad weather. I am excited about this purchase. I haven't had a real desk/workstation since my last house back in 2006. Yes, I think I deserve this one, big time! The desk looks small, but isn't. The two units measure 60" wide and the desk measures 24" deep.  Plenty of room for my work needs. In my space, the units will be reversed. The storage shelves will be on the right, next to the outside wall, but...never mind.

My supper this evening will be a recipe posted by Peter (the dear) at TIPPIN' THE SCALES. It required a bit of tweaking, since I'm only one person and a few ingredients didn't jibe with the cooking instructions, but no matter. It's going to be wonderful. Only missing one ingredient, the fresh bell pepper.  (Since I'm not allowed to eat raw veggies anymore, I had to purchase one for this dish.)  All else is on hand.  I'm in the mood for a rich stir-fry and this recipe certainly fills that bill.  

I finished reading Herman Hesse's Siddhartha last night. The story still grabs me in all the appropriate places in my life.  It was a quicker read than I remembered it, but this being a new translation may have made the difference.  Still, powerful and worth the read.

I happen to be on the email list of something called "Book Bub" which offers daily specials on ebooks for Kindle, Apple and others at really low prices. Sometimes, even free. I've made many purchases from the site - all downloaded directly to the Kindle, or, nowadays, the Nexus 7 - in a few minutes. 

Most of the books are new or newer releases, but sometimes they offer older gems, again for free or deeply discounted. Many are available as ebooks for the first time and when I find one read previously in book form and would like to read it again, I download it to the reader, or store it in the Cloud (I love typing that!) for enjoying at a later date. 

You may want to check them out. Google Book Bub and sign up if you're interested. You never know what treasures will be included in the mailings. 

Among the offerings this weekend was one such golden oldie trilogy. (Yes, these are "limited time only" sales) It's Anne McCaffrey's "The Dragonriders of Pern" - includes all three books in the original series and all for under two-bucks! How fast can you say "download" class? She wrote more in the series as time went by, but the original trilogy is about 40 years old.  I am looking forward to reading them again. Here's a screen-grab from the email. (click to embiggen)

While I was out picking just the right bell pepper, I picked up a larger pot for the little European Cypress tree. It must like its home, because it has grown, not so much UP as OUT, it's pot-bound, and it's only been living here for 3 months.  So, before I begin making the stir-fry, I will get the transplanting out of the way. I don't want the little darling to go and die on me. 

I don't know where this excess energy is coming from, but I welcome it anytime, anywhere. Feeling like death warmed over isn't great. I'll take this for as long as it lasts. 

And so it goes.

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Its a Meditation Caturday

I've just re-read Siddhartha, 40 years on.  So, it all comes together here.

More later.
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Black Veil & a Feather Boa

My Kindle Fire died Saturday evening for no apparent reason.  Maybe just old age, or perhaps planned obsolescence.  No matter, it's toast. I had recently downloaded a few books to hold me over when I receive  transfusions. And now?  "Poof"  All gone.  Bother!

I am in mourning. It was a gift less then 2 years old, and included a 2-year extended replacement warrantee, which means I can get a new one.  Which means I also have to wait…maybe.

So, I collected the necessary papers yesterday and took my sweet self the Staples technical desk to find out what to do next. They couldn't have been nicer. Claims aren't processed locally, nor do they provide a new product, but give a URL address to their  "square deal" site.  Couldn't have been easier.  Hopped on the site, input requested data, then spoke to a REAL, LIFE, BREATHING human being.

Tony!  He asked the usual inane questions: did you try another electrical outlet?, a different charger?, was the item dropped or have any visual damage? When I explained that the Kindle and the charger got very hot during that final attempt to charge the thing, he quickly said that it was likely a problem with the innards of the Kindle itself, and no fault of my own. Well, thanks for that vote of confidence! 

Tony gave me a "return authorization" number then sent an email with instructions for returning the item.  Smooth. Took everything to the UPS store this morning, packed up the Kindle with copies of all the paperwork, JIC, and sent it on to never-land, somewhere in eastern Texas… oh my!

Meanwhile, I am lost without reading material to help pass the time while resting in bed during the day or spending a day at the Center receiving blood. 

Isn't it funny how quickly we become addicted to certain technology.  Withdrawal, as you probably already know, is a bitch! In the old days, I would have just grabbed a real book and been done.  That ship has sailed.

It's very sad, really. They do not repair these things anymore.   I do hope they recycle the innards and don't just chuck it all in landfills. 

Had to run a quick errand in town before coming home. I noticed there were open parking spots near Dos Locos, so decided to show my smiling face and welcome the locosguys home - they just returned from their 3 weeks in Mexico. It was great fun. The restaurant was busy, but (thankfully) no kids. I got to remove the mask, relax, and enjoy the company of friends. 

Two staffers are real geeks (who usually agree on nothing), after hearing my Kindle tale of woe, suggested I had just hit the mother lode. No more Kindles, they said.  Get a REAL Android Tablet, they said. Improved technology has lowered prices and I can purchase something thrice as fast and reliable for the same price as 2 years ago.  But I need something small and light - nothing big and flashy, if you get my drift.  The arthritis and cramping in the hands make manipulating anything large (or too small) out of the question. 

They agreed on either the Samsung Tab - 3, or the Google Nexus 7. Both come close in price to the presumed refund and both are only 7" tall. I have homework to do before I buy either one. 

If any of you geeks reading this want to weigh in on the new tablet, please leave a comment.  I'd appreciate any and all information you're willing to offer.

Limited: Tony told me that the certificate would be valid only if used at the store, not online.  So that puts many limits on my choices. If up to it,  I'll drop by the store again tomorrow to see what I can discover - maybe there's even a sales associate who knows what they're talking about willing to answer my questions.

Just as an aside, here:  Watched part of Palin's speech at CPAC yesterday and it suddenly occurred to me that the only beings able to follow along and make any sense her word-salad rhetoric are the paste-eating mouth-breathers with the IQ just a tick above a Rubber plant. What a festering bile-wagon that crazy woman is from head to toe.

Never mind…where was I?  

And so it goes.

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