I Lied. Never Say Never.

Unintentionally, of course.  You see, I didn’t mean to, but I spoke wrote before I knew I had this particular, weighty (ahem!) problem.  Some would say I ought to have known beforehand, but I've had other business on my mind,  dontcha know...Anyway.

There is a disturbance in the FORCE! (Sorry, wrong metaphor.) I found out the hard way that I cannot read the LOTR books. My hands and fingers are too weak to hold the hard cover volume for any length of time. 

The problem may be due to the cancer, causing weakness in joints and muscles.  It might also be the arthritis which I have in both hands. The fingertips become numb on occasion. I can no longer tell if the pain in the hands - like the pain in the legs - is due to the cancer nowadays, or still the arthritis.

I’ve tried reading with the book propped on my chest, but the weight and size are too clumsy and the book slips out of my mostly useless thumbs. The thought that reading the entire trilogy would have to take place sitting at desk or table, instead of snuggled up in bed, was more than I could take.

So, I did what I said I “would never do” I hunted down and purchased the entire trilogy in one volume. It turns out to be a Kindle Edition with surprisingly good reviews. 

I’ve proof-read the first 3 chapters and compared each edition. Though the script of the Elves is very small, so far, so good. The Kindle version is the authorized Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Co. edition.  Total cost was $9.00, delivered in less than 2 minutes, and I am a happy camper.  Now to continue the annual read that is certainly going to take my mind off being a shut-in most of the time this winter. 

Just shows to go ya; never say never. 

I am amazed.

*

The iPhone 6 ‘Bigger Than Bigger’??!?

Um, What?

I just received an email from Apple suggesting that I pre-order the new iPhone 6 or 6+ at the regular price, of course.  So, I checked it out.

Maybe it’s just me, but I thought the whole idea of the cell technology was to think small, compact, fit-in-your-pocket convenience and versatility.  

So, why are the phones getting bigger and bigger. At 5.5 inches, the iPhone 6+ close to the size of a Kindle, less than an inch smaller than my Nexus 7 droid e-reader, which comes in at 6.3 inches.  Hardly a comfortable fit for shirt, jeans, or a suit pocket.

I don’t understand how this is a real selling point. Doesn’t matter how light the thing is, it’s still big and I would think quite cumbersome. People tend to slip their phones in the back pocket of their shorts or jeans and I can see where there may be more than a few cracked cases if one forgets this thing is there.  I've seen this happen after too many margaritas at the restaurant. So, I know of what I speak.

Maybe Apple will introduce a line of holsters (too large to call them cases) to attach to your belt or sling over the shoulder for that quick-draw answering a call, or text.   

I see there are wide angle and telephoto clip-on lenses for iPhone -  - so what’s next?  Pretend you’re Cecil B. DeMille shooting video in Cinemascope with an anamorphic add-on lens? How far is this going to go?

Just a rhetorical, really.  And people are waiting in all kinds of weather for this thing to go on sale.  It boggles the mind.  Truly, it does. 

I’m happy with my iPhone 4 because it does everything I need, plus more than I’ll ever use.  I like it best because it was a FREE upgrade through my carrier. I think I’ll stick with this smaller one until they discontinue support for it.

And so it goes.

*

Reading to Escape & Books Out of Nowhere.

I’ve been reading waaay too much lately.  If my appetite for food was half of what it has been for books, I'd be bed-bound today. Not giving myself breathing space between books or genres as plots, characters, incidents, etc, all mash up together in my head. 

Aside from the original Pern books, I’ve already read most of those written after the initial trilogy, also, too. Heatstroke: nature in an age of global warming, Storm Clouds Rolling In:

1860-1861 (civil war beginnings), The Last Man, Tomorrowland - the 1964-65 NY World’s Fair, The Kinshield Saga (another trilogy), Moon Shot (Updated, 2011) - NASA’s beginnings from Mercury to Apollo by Alan Shepard & Deke Slayton, and The Magicians (book 1 of another trilogy) by Lev Grossman.

I'm looking forward to reading Outlander, but since it's almost 900 pages, think I'll wait until the weather changes and spending time outdoors will be even less frequent than now. There hasn't been much else to do being stuck at home, and all

that, but I had to come up for air. So, in an effort to free up brain space, and organize that already digested material, I set the eReader aside for a couple of days.

Then last evening I opened the iPad and discovered a book titled: World War II London Blitz Diary, Volume two, 1941. I have no idea where it came from - it’s not a Kindle title, I checked - or how long it’s been on the tablet. Although it sounded interesting and is something I would be curious about, especially British History and women’s history, I do not know how it  got on my iPad. I know I didn’t buy it.  Then I read the Overview:

Do you find yourself watching reality TV? Well, if you do, click off that set and head for the real thing. These diary entries, written 70 years ago by Ruby Thompson, who had to simultaneously put up with the Blitz bombing of London and a marriage that was as damaging to a woman's psyche as those Nazi bombs were to the city, will take you back to a time and put you in the middle of the history the way no boring textbook summary of the war could. What was it really like for the individuals who bore the fear, rationing, and destruction created by the Blitzkrieg against London? How were women stuck in bad marriages, held captive not only by convention, but by their own mindset that had been drilled into them from birth? Ruby's fierce intelligence, powers of observation, clear writing, and analysis of her miserable husband and unhappy marriage provide insight into both history and the psychological state of a woman stuck partly by her era and partly by her own sense of what was possible. A fascinating revelation for anyone interested in World history and women's history. 

Of course I don’t watch ‘reality TV’ or any other TV for that matter. But this peaked my curiosity. I read half of it last night before finally turning off the lights. I found it difficult to put down. Fascinating, deeply moving and embarrassingly personal at times.

The story behind how the diaries came to be published is a good tale in its own right.  This is book two of what I think is a trilogy - this woman was a prolific writer - candid and passionate.

I ran a few searches today and it turns out to be a Barnes & Noble NOOK title, which is probably why it’s on the iPad and not the Kindle reader. I wonder if it is possible for someone to send copies of NOOK books to other readers as it is from Kindle to Kindle.

Anyway, it’s a mystery, but I am the happy recipient of someone’s gift. As soon as I’ve finished the errands and chores for the day, it will be just the thing to take my mind off the fact that another round of Chemo begins this afternoon. Joy, anyway!

And so it goes.

*

The Dragons Header...

Yes, yes.  To answer seemingly burning questions in comments: The present header is an homage to the Anne McCaffrey Dragonriders of Pern books. I loved them when I first read them and even more this time around.

The graphic shows the difference in height of human to various colored dragons. The Gold Queens, Bronzes, Browns, Blues, and Greens.  To know how these sizes make sense to the story, you gotta read 'em.

Look up the book series and give them a try. They're available in paperback and eBook/Kindle editions.  You may be pleasantly surprised.

I've been told that I'd like Game of Thrones because of the dragons. Well, that may be true, but they'd better be smart and human compatible.

Meanwhile, those beautiful dragons are the current header.  Enjoy it and read the books, if you like.  No pressure. Just don't question my choice of headers. The Lion will be back at some point.  I love him too.

And so it goes.
*

Goodbye to Pern

I’ve read - or re-read - every one of the dragons of Pern books written by Anne McCaffrey. Also one or two co-written by Anne and son Todd. Haven’t braved reading any additional books written by Todd alone. He might just break the spell for me.

I’ve just finished the Harperhall Trilogy, which for some reason, she wrote as a stand-alone treat.  Truth is, the Harperhall books introduce certain characters already an integral part of the original trilogy. The background stories of these characters are embellished; their interconnectedness dovetails nicely into the entire series making fascinating reading for anyone who loves the world of Pern.

  

Unfortunately, for some reason known only to the publishers, the Harperhall trilogy (seen above) is not available for e-readers, only in paper cover.  I sprang for them only after checking with the library for possible availability. The library has the original trilogy, but not the others in the vast series. 

It felt awkward reading from real paper after two years of Kindle (now Nexus 7). First of all, the text cannot be enlarged, so I required much more light, to which I found it difficult to adjust. However, I plodded on and made it through.

Hello, New Stuff!

Sad to see the Pern saga come to an end, but all things must pass (now, where have I heard that before?) so I went in search of new material. I am on a mailing list called “Book Bub” that shoots a short list of 3 or 4 sale items right to my inbox 7 days a week. You choose the genre or categories, and suggestions are sent right to your inbox. The books are always offered in Kindle format, but there are occasional options for downloading Apple and Nook version, as well.

Many titles are new, or relatively new, with some oldies, but goodies thrown in to the mix for a brief time (that’s how I snagged the original Dragonriders of Pern trilogy) - usually 24 hours, some longer - and cost anywhere from $2.99 to NOTHING. 

I purchased this series for 99 cents.

And this one was free. It’s book 1 of 6 originally published in 2011, and sounded interesting to me. We'll see. I've been disappointed before...

I just downloaded this one last night, again for free - for a limited time only. Published in 2009, it seems to be enjoying a resurgence in popularity, so I snatched it up. Looking forward to this one alot. 

Once you order books through Book Bub, they are yours.  No hidden charges, fees, or a borrower’s limitation. I can read them, or not, as I feel the urge. Or, leave them in the “Cloud” until I’m ready to tackle one or another.

So, between what’s in the “Cloud” and on the device itself, I would say I’m ready for anything.  Happy reading, all.

And so it goes.

*

A Most Unusual Day

(sans Deanna Durbin and Judy Garland)

Woke up at 1 am. Truth be told,  I’d fallen asleep at around 6 pm, thanks in part to the Benadryl consumed to counter the edema in the left leg and ankle.

Still, it was 1 o’clock in the morning and my noisy neighbors were just rolling in from a night of bar trivia or karaoke - don’t ask - and they were far from ready to call it a night.  Instead, they shot the breeze with friends who joined them for the evening’s frivolity, and man were they ever wound up and noisier than usual.  And that’s saying something.

Normally, if I’m already in a deep sleep I don’t hear their carrying on, but last night was different. While they were banging things around in their kitchen, I was soft boiling eggs for a very early breakfast. 

They’re popping wine corks as I’m brewing a coffee in my French Press.  It couldn’t have been more bizarre - point, counter point. 

After a perfectly cooked breakfast- and wide awake -  I snuggled under the covers with the headphones and listened to (for the first time in years - I was desperate) Yanni Live at the Acropolis, which turned out to be loud enough to drown out even the most shrill voices next door.  I was happy.

Later…

Following a shower and shave, I took to the road to run a few early errands: fuel up the car and take a walk on the boardwalk. The sun was just beginning to break through the overnight clouds and the sky behind was bright blue. As you can see from the selfie above.

Most of the breakfast shops on the Avenue were open, so I snagged a strong iced coffee and sat on a bench facing the sunrise and ocean. I felt no pain so I walked the entire Boardwalk (1 mile) in both directions.  

I thought how nice it would be to share these beautiful morning experiences with someone else. Oh, I see people I know, but they can’t be bothered, even to say “hello” (which everyone does on the boardwalk. It’s an unwritten law) they simply nod and maybe smile and move on.

Thought I’d treat myself to a full Sunday afternoon dinner at a fave restaurant - and so I tried.  Either they were still serving Brunch (which is a first!) or the  were catering to large families with small children.  For reasons (other than the need or the mask) I wasn’t ready to share my peaceful meal with a bunch of squealing chill’ins with inattentive parents.

I finally came to The Pig & Fish another favorite and the timing was perfect. 

They don’t like small children and strollers are verboten, so I was seated at a small table in the back corner. All quiet and peaceful like. No mask necessary.

I’ve known the manager for years.  He came over and we shared a hug.  He also brought me a glass of wine. I realized then just how hungry I was - having had nothing since about 3:30 am - and ordered my meal with eyes that proved no bigger than my belly. The appetizer was their famous Hog Wings (pork short ribs that look like chicken wings only bigger (O.M.G.!) and for an entree I ordered the Lobster & Crab Mac & Cheese. It is what it is…Out. Of. This. World.

By the time I came up for air, Happy Hour was in full swing at the bar and the noise level was becoming annoying.  Paid the check, shared another hug with my old friend and headed out the door.  Fortunately, the P&F is less than 2 blocks from my place, so the walk wasn’t a problem.

I am paying the price for such a grand, unusually active day and delicious meal.  The left leg has ballooned to an enormous size, so it’s time for another round of Benadryl, and back to bed and more reading. 

No complaints. A good time all round. To hell with tomorrow and beyond. I’m sure I’ll whine later, but not now. As I say, it’s all good.

And so it goes.

*

As Luck - and Tourists - Would Have It…

A lone daylily struggling to survive amidst seagrass.

The Ultrasound appointment never happened. Couldn’t find a single parking place at the hospital - lots of handicap and reserved parking for physicians and police though - having driven around for 40 minutes in the 95’ heat being followed everywhere by other vehicles in search of the same thing. The appointment coincided with Visiting Hours, so that may have been the major issue.  When I realized I was already 15 minutes late I gave up, disgusted, called the Center to report the situation and drove home for a good cold shower. 

I’ve been knocking back Benadryl on my own and the swelling has subsided quite a bit, plus my boardwalk strolls seem to help too. Still, staying in bed with the leg elevated while reading seems to be the best of all possible things, at least until they can schedule another ultrasound. 

In other boring medical news…The surgeon cancelled Thursday’s appointment to remove the stitches from the port-a-cath repair.  It has been rescheduled for Monday morning.  When I removed the most recent dressing however, the site doesn’t look promising. Again, the rim of the port is visible under the skin and I don’t think that’s as it should be.  I’ve got a feeling she will have to remove the device, let it heal and maybe (I said, Maybe) try the surgery again. As luck would have it, I may not have to make that decision.

Weather has been pretty crappy these last few days and we all know that such things tend to piss off the tourists. On top of that, I hear the crazies are arriving early this season, more demanding than ever. Still, I wish I was working at the restaurant.  I miss all the fuss and frolic that plays out during the season.

I  walk on the boards and “make groceries”** as early in the morning as possible, so the hard-core grumps are still asleep, or sleeping it off.  Yes, I hear the booze consumption is way up this year, too. Seems there ain’t nobody happy this summer season, and it’s just formally begun today. Not that anyone cares.

I’m also seeing a lot more bumper stickers that read, “Don’t Hassle Me, I’m Local” "Turn Off the F**king Phone" and the most popular, “If It’s Tourist Season, Why Can’t We Shoot Them?”…neither go over well with obnoxious visitors anytime, but this year, especially.

Me?  I stay out of the way; away from crowds, large families with small children, and heavy traffic unless I absolutely must drive in it.

Meanwhile, I am not supposed to drink liquor, but my friend’s 90+ year-old mother is visiting from New York this weekend, and she makes the meanest whiskey sour on earth. She would also shoot my ass if I didn’t have one with her as we chat for an hour or two.  She’s a delightful piece of work and I love her dearly.  She (and the whiskey sour) may be just what the doctor didn’t order as a cure for my immediate depression.  Hey!  Couldn’t hurt!

**An old New Orleans-ism for grocery shopping.

And so it goes.

*

Black Veil & a Feather Boa

My Kindle Fire died Saturday evening for no apparent reason.  Maybe just old age, or perhaps planned obsolescence.  No matter, it's toast. I had recently downloaded a few books to hold me over when I receive  transfusions. And now?  "Poof"  All gone.  Bother!

I am in mourning. It was a gift less then 2 years old, and included a 2-year extended replacement warrantee, which means I can get a new one.  Which means I also have to wait…maybe.

So, I collected the necessary papers yesterday and took my sweet self the Staples technical desk to find out what to do next. They couldn't have been nicer. Claims aren't processed locally, nor do they provide a new product, but give a URL address to their  "square deal" site.  Couldn't have been easier.  Hopped on the site, input requested data, then spoke to a REAL, LIFE, BREATHING human being.

Tony!  He asked the usual inane questions: did you try another electrical outlet?, a different charger?, was the item dropped or have any visual damage? When I explained that the Kindle and the charger got very hot during that final attempt to charge the thing, he quickly said that it was likely a problem with the innards of the Kindle itself, and no fault of my own. Well, thanks for that vote of confidence! 

Tony gave me a "return authorization" number then sent an email with instructions for returning the item.  Smooth. Took everything to the UPS store this morning, packed up the Kindle with copies of all the paperwork, JIC, and sent it on to never-land, somewhere in eastern Texas… oh my!

Meanwhile, I am lost without reading material to help pass the time while resting in bed during the day or spending a day at the Center receiving blood. 

Isn't it funny how quickly we become addicted to certain technology.  Withdrawal, as you probably already know, is a bitch! In the old days, I would have just grabbed a real book and been done.  That ship has sailed.

It's very sad, really. They do not repair these things anymore.   I do hope they recycle the innards and don't just chuck it all in landfills. 

Had to run a quick errand in town before coming home. I noticed there were open parking spots near Dos Locos, so decided to show my smiling face and welcome the locosguys home - they just returned from their 3 weeks in Mexico. It was great fun. The restaurant was busy, but (thankfully) no kids. I got to remove the mask, relax, and enjoy the company of friends. 

Two staffers are real geeks (who usually agree on nothing), after hearing my Kindle tale of woe, suggested I had just hit the mother lode. No more Kindles, they said.  Get a REAL Android Tablet, they said. Improved technology has lowered prices and I can purchase something thrice as fast and reliable for the same price as 2 years ago.  But I need something small and light - nothing big and flashy, if you get my drift.  The arthritis and cramping in the hands make manipulating anything large (or too small) out of the question. 

They agreed on either the Samsung Tab - 3, or the Google Nexus 7. Both come close in price to the presumed refund and both are only 7" tall. I have homework to do before I buy either one. 

If any of you geeks reading this want to weigh in on the new tablet, please leave a comment.  I'd appreciate any and all information you're willing to offer.

Limited: Tony told me that the certificate would be valid only if used at the store, not online.  So that puts many limits on my choices. If up to it,  I'll drop by the store again tomorrow to see what I can discover - maybe there's even a sales associate who knows what they're talking about willing to answer my questions.

Just as an aside, here:  Watched part of Palin's speech at CPAC yesterday and it suddenly occurred to me that the only beings able to follow along and make any sense her word-salad rhetoric are the paste-eating mouth-breathers with the IQ just a tick above a Rubber plant. What a festering bile-wagon that crazy woman is from head to toe.

Never mind…where was I?  

And so it goes.

*

TMI: PLEASE READ ME A STORY!

1. Describe your favorite place to cozy-up with a good book.

Bed, propped up with a few pillows with a tall glass of water on the night stand.

2. What do you read when you're on the toilet?

Nothing. 

3. Do you read when taking a bath?

Yes. Though that's a luxury seldom indulged in anymore.

4. If you can, do you read when at the gym?

No, too distracting, but not applicable anymore.

5. Do you still read newspapers and or magazines?

Yes, magazines in paper format, but newspapers mostly online. Regular reads include The Guardian, NY Times, BBC World, Mother Jones, TheNation, TPM, and our weekly local paper which has a well formatted online presence and is FREE!

6. What are your favorite genres to read?

Historical non-fiction, Sci-Fi, and whatever catches my attention. I am not a "best seller" reader, per se.

7. Do you read one book at a time or can you read several?

I immerse myself in one book at a time.  Give it all the attention it deserves. 

8. If you start a book, do you finish it no matter what?

Hell, no.  Life is too short. Poor writing, editing, crappy story lines that don't live up to the hype turn me off within the first few chapters. And typos drive me to distraction.  Too many and I'm done.

9. Did your parents read to you when you were growing up?

No.

10. Have you read to your kids/nephews/nieces?

Yes. Many years ago. They always received books from me as gifts at birthdays and Christmas.  Usually, a book they requested.  

11. How do you feel about reading books vs. using electronic devices? Have your feelings evolved from one or two years ago?

I love my Kindle Fire. No space for the real things.  Gave thousands of books to local libraries.  My library is stored in the iCloud or on the device, not bookshelves. Purchased and available, but not taking up valuable living space. It goes with me everywhere.  Eats up waiting times at doctor's appointments and while being transfused.  Takes my mind off of the depressing surroundings.  

BONUS  

When was the last time you looked at or read an adult magazine to satisfy yourself? When was the last time you even saw one? 

Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Note: as a child I read only what was required for school (no child should be required to read Dickens at 10-years of age, I had nightmares for years afterward), became a serious reader after high school when I moved to NYC and hung out with other avid readers.  There was no stopping me after that.  I had to go back and read all the classics I'd missed growing up - and it was great fun.

And so it goes.

*

Reading, Reviews, and the Ridiculous.

I'm sure I mentioned a fascinating book I read last month: "Theodore Roosevelt and the Assassin; Madness, Vengeance, and the Campaign of 1912 - by Gerard Helferich.  I read the Kindle edition.  This is not a review of the book, itself.

Reading it took longer than expected, what with all the medical mishugas, drugs, transfusions dogging my everyday activities, but I finally finished it.  It was great, but I felt that I had missed (or forgotten over time) some of the historical data, and subtle nuances of the story taken from the historic documents.

So, I read it again.  I always get more out of a second reading, anyway, but this one proved amazingly well researched and written. This reading went faster. Fortunately, I bought this book, so it's safe in the 'cloud' whenever I want to revisit it. I love saving books this way. Though I only save a few faves that I know I'll want to check in on from time to time.

I've since downloaded and tried reading a few other books, modern sci-fi mostly, but I've deleted them after a few chapters. Bad writing, awful plots, silly language, dull characters, rehashed story-lines from previous writers, you name it they had it.  Is this what it's like when you get old and have read all the good stuff?

Anyway, as I was hunting for new reading material I decided to check out a few reviews of the Roosevelt book. Most agreed with my assessment, even offering more reasons why I should read it once again. Then, I came upon a wonderful little review comparing the book cover and a poster of a so-called celebrity and I was blown away.  

I laughed so hard there were tears in my eyes. Someone actually made the comparison between Roosevelt's situation in 1912, his response, and commitment, to this whiny-ass hip-hop dude in 2013.  It reminded me of the comment I read by Kanye West that he "is tougher than any soldier." More than anything, he believes his own lyrics, but most of all, his own hype. 

Here are the images, side-by-side.  Priceless.

If you are only slightly interested in American History and America's Politics you will enjoy this book.

And so it goes.
*

No Epiphany Here

Having spent the past few days allowing the reality of American Healthcare sink in, I've gotten over the anger, though not the frustration.  I've come to accept the image at left as a possible truth.

I've dutifully taken all the meds on schedule, rested more than necessary, and tried to maintain a fair appetite.  Not always successful on that score. I get cravings, but cannot face the idea of standing at the counter doing all the prep.  Just not worth it.

When weighed last week, I'd lost another 1.5 lb.. I purchased some easier / faster to prepare foods, including a few frozen dishes - what's the difference, I can't taste much, anyway - and more packaged fruits as snacks. Trouble is, I don't get the snacking urge that I did in the past, when a bunch of grapes, strawberries, or an apple set me up for the afternoon. 

Been reading a bit, too.  I finished Theodore Roosevelt & the Assassin: Madness, Vengeance, and the Campaign of 1912 yesterday and was very pleased with it.  As a story-teller, the author, Gerard Helferich, did a great job holding my interest and keeping me engaged, page after page. I knew the basic story, but the added historical elements made the story stand out for me. If you're into historical stories, 20th century American politics, (accurately documented and detailed) you might want to give this a read.  

As usual for me, I'm finding it hard to get into another book. If I've just finished a really good one, it's not easy to find another one that grabs me right away.  A few new downloads on the Kindle, but they'll have to wait.

Speaking of reading, as you may know I get a lot of my news from The Guardian, so it was nice to see they've added their very understated comment to the Russian crackdown on LGBT people.  I love their new logo. 

All of that being said, I really must get my eyes (and head) examined. I need a new prescription in the worst way.  Can't even find an Optometrist willing to do an exam. They're scared off by the surgical mask, telling me to come back when the mask is history.  Well, that's not going to happen any time soon, now is it? 

My buddy, Deb, gave me the name of an Ophthalmologist not far from here, so I'll make the call, fill them in on the mask issue and see what they say.  I won't be driving 20 miles only to be rejected again.

Sure it may cost more, but I'm worth it and it's either that, or register for a cane and service dog.  

Meanwhile, a few EoY tax documents are yet to arrive and once they do, I'll get everything to Natalie so she can do the deed. There ought to be a nice refund this year, not having worked since August, 2013, but we'll see. 

As I've said before, I've learned to expect nothing so if something positive does come to pass, it will be a happy surprise.

One final note.  This morning, as I was quietly gaining consciousness, I thought about looking into Acupuncture therapy. Dunno why! I've had friends who swear by the treatments, though I'm not sure if my situation would be treatable.  After what I've experienced in these last 6 months, I have no fear of pain or needles. It may not amount to anything positive, but Hey, what have I got to lose?  Other than more pain, and larger needles, that is.

I've  been given two recommendations that I will call  beginning tomorrow.  Both have studios elsewhere and only in the area 2 or 3 days weekly, so setting up an appointment may be a bit difficult.  We'll see.

And so it goes.

*

Blood Bonanza & Medical Mishugas

Tree in Lounge at Cancer Center. No music!

This lovely tree (not a Ponderosa Pine - get the connection here?) has been decorated by the staff and shines a few feet from where I wait to be called by the doctor/lab.  No holiday music is played. Perhaps for fear it would be depressing to those with life-threatening health issues awaiting treatment.  Who knows? To me, the screaming silence is more depressing, but what do I know? 

Results of blood work Tuesday afternoon were baffling for the techs and doctor - never a good thing - and so a comic opera with a leitmotif took center stage.

For the first time since this saga began in August, the BC bottomed out at 5.6 (less than 1/3 where it should be) but without visible symptoms. No breathing problems, great colour and clear eyes. They tried again.  Yes, Virginia, another round of blood work which, I was told would not be charged to me.  Isn't that sweet?  (what I wouldn't give for a different kind of round,  preferably straight up - no chaser) Same results. 

Much head-scratching and consultation with other doctors took place beyond my hearing. Sometime during those talks it was decided that since they had no explanation for this anomaly, they'd change the subject. So, the doctor returns all smiles and asks how my back is feeling since the biopsy. (Say, what?)  

Leery of the quick shift in conversation I  said it is still sore and tender to the touch.  It turns out that all his digging - causing the soreness - was an attempt to get liquid marrow (like a Slurpie?) for the Mayo clinic, who said there wasn't sufficient liquid in their previous sample.  This sample was no different.

The marrow is scarred and thick that no liquid remains.  At least that's what I understood of his convoluted explanation in broken English. He continued to stare at me until I said flatly, "There will be no more biopsies."  He was about to argue when I palmed up and said "talk to the hand, cause the wrist is pissed."  No. More. Biopsies. Period!  He looked so dejected that I almost wanted  to give him a candy bar to cheer him up.  Afraid of possibly shoving it down his throat, I restrained myself.

Changing the subject I expressed the on-going frustration with the Hematologist's office and was met (as I suspected) with excuse after excuse: he's a very busy man and I needed to be more flexible, more considerate of his situation.  OK, so where does that leave me?  {Crickets!}

I changed the subject again.  What about the low BC numbers and my festive, physical glow? The answers made little sense to me but here goes: when first diagnosed with Milo Fibrosis (which it seems, I no longer have) it was more white cells that were low thereby causing the weakness, fevers, shortness of breath, etc. These new results however, showed that the red cells were bottoming out, (copy-cats!) evidently causing the appearance of a healthy person - at least until I dropped - but requiring constant monitoring and weekly labs.  OK, but that's what I've been doing.  

Why the sudden difference?  Glad you asked. 

The gift of blood. The blood of others. Each transfusion, while giving new energy also comes with its own set of potential problems and pitfalls. Infections, and alterations to the blood in the body and how the immune system responds to, attacks certain antibodies.  I hope I got this right. 

Back in the hospital, when the white cells were in the basement, I was given 2 shots of Neupogen to give them a boost. Now that the red cells are having a "me too" moment, I need shots of something called Anaresp which, I was solemnly informed, may cause stroke, swelling of face & lips, hives, and heart problems. 

Great!  Sign me up.  Only, no strokes , please.  Just kill me outright. No reason to linger or burden anyone else. I want to get this over with as soon as possible, because I don't think I can take much more of this visit to Neverland. The rides are no longer fun; the stardust has become cheap glitter. 

Fortunately, or not, I am already on high doses of vitamin B-12 and Iron, so I am ready to go.  Confused?  Come and sit next to me. An appointment was made for transfusion Wednesday (yesterday) while approval for the Anaresp shot was sought from the insurance company. I didn't expect much as I left for home.

Arrived home to find a rather nasty letter from the health & social services office screaming that they had not received the listed info….which had been sent via certified mail on October 15, 2013. It was too late to call to sort out what had happened and I was really too exhausted to give a crap at that point. It went on the pile of other envelopes and medical bills.  Enough is enough. 

I was supposed to receive 1 unit of blood yesterday, but overnight the doctor changed his mind and ordered 2.  Seems my type has become more difficult to match after all the previous blood products received.  This turned a 2-hour afternoon into a 6 hour E-ticket ride in the bowels of the Hell that is the blood center. For the first time, I was actually happy for the shot of Benadryl, which blessedly put me out for 2 of those hours.

As the port was being flushed the nurse arrived with my new schedule for the week.  The Aranesp was approved (wonder of wonders!) and will be administered Friday morning at 8:15 am. Next date with the transfusion room is Tuesday at 11 am (another full day with dozens more sick people, far sicker than I. Well, far more ill than I feel at the moment.

Magic words of Poof-Poof-Piffles!

When I got home and picked up the mail I almost fell over.  I had to take a photo.  No one would believe this. I waved my magic wand, but they didn't go anywhere. Damn! There were 4 new envelopes (count 'em) from the health & social services department - all postmarked the same date 2 days ago.  Go fig.  You can't make this stuff up. 

After having just been transfused one would think that I'd be hungry and bursting with energy.  Well, one would be wrong.  Brushed my teeth, grabbed a big glass of water and the Kindle, slid under the covers, reading until I fell asleep.  Woke at 3:30 am with the bed lamp still on, turned it off and went back to sleep for another hour.

No medical mishugas to cope with today. It's foggy and rainy it  promises to be that kind of day.  I'm not very hungry, but I need to eat something before I tackle the contents of those 4 envelopes.

I also need a chunk of dark chocolate - at least 70% cocoa - to get through the morning.  Hey, it works for me.

Update:  Just received a call from the cancer center asking how I'm feeling and if I'd heard any news from Christiana.  I laughed so hard I almost hurt myself.

Sorry. Sanity Doesn't Live Here, Anymore.

And so it goes.

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I Am a Medical Professional. You Are Not.

Bear with me here, OK?  I feel a rant coming on. Not a Hissy, mind you, just your run-of-the-mill WTF kind of rant.  Yes, the subject is Medical and Professional.  Those 2 words don't necessarily go together. And don't give me that "they're overworked and understaffed" BS, cause it ain't gonna fly here. As you will understand later.


A recording of that title ought to be played back oh, say every 5 minutes, as a reminder to the "professional" and the patient (layman) being "professed" by said professional. In short, I know why these a**holes 'practice' medicine.  OMG, do they need the practice!

In my recent experience, They do not:

• Listen to answers to the questions they ask. ***
• Treat patients as unique individuals.
• Stray from whatever office protocol has been established for whatever CYA reasons. ***
• Believe patient's response to questions concerning bodily functions, diet, or medications.
• Attempt to solve problems on their own or at Patient's suggestion.
• Take advice from the patient regarding the viability of already abused veins in search of more blood. 
• Admit any wrong-doing regarding mis-treatment. 
• Take seriously the patient's experience or their body's reaction to certain procedures and medications.
• Acknowledge or apologize for negative consequences resulting from rejecting the innate knowledge of the patient.

They do: 

• Express surprise when the information provided by the patient proves accurate.
• Assume patient is no longer taking specific medications because the data isn't showing up in patient's records on their computers.
• Question the possibility of undocumented, unapproved revisions to the patient's supplement/prescription regime by demanding all items be brought to the office at each visit as proof. ***
• Suspect the patient is secretly attempting to undermine his/her own treatment.

Arrived at the Cancer Center at 7:15 am yesterday, was finally cut loose (literally) at 3:30 pm. During those surreal 8 hours I witnessed (or overheard) all of the above at least once. I went in for blood work - a CBC - and learned that transfusion was necessary.  Three hours passed before the order was filled and blood delivered. Another half-hour of paper-pushing before the port was prepped and transfusion started. Next time I'll get the CBC done in late afternoon one day, and transfused the following morning. No more 3 hours of waiting.

As luck would have it, I knew the 2 nurses and CNA assigned to me from around town, so I suffered no indignities, was well cared for.  Not so, for others in the center.  There are 5 suites in the center.  Each contains 6 stations for infusion/transfusion patients.  Two nurses and 1 CNA are assigned to each station. Technicians float in and out as needed, and volunteer helpers scurry about like fussy worker bees. There are no dividing walls, only a waist-high railing of sorts. That translates to no privacy, every word said anywhere in the center can be heard everywhere. An embarrassing situation made worse when patients are asked extremely personal questions. (This is especially true with older, hearing impaired or non-English speaking patients.) It's like learning the medical history of a few dozen people in a couple of hours.

The cacophony of coughing, wheezing, spitting, hissing oxygen tanks, whirring motors connecting patients to diabolical machinery, snoring, groaning, wailing, and shouting was unnerving, to say the least. But no laughter. All very difficult sounds to tune out.

 I had the Kindle, but no headphones to block out the noise.  The Kindle battery went dead by mid-day, forcing me to drag the IV rack around the center in search of reading material. Three recent issues of Popular Science helped (like Calgon) take me away.  If I ever have the opportunity to meet the subscriber, a Mr. Clay Fisher, he's in for a big kiss for his donation to my sanity.

By the time I left I felt totally wrung out. If this is what I have to look forward to every couple of weeks over the next - however many months - it's going to take all my inner resources to remain positive and up-beat.

Anyone know where I can snag some Xanax, or "happy weed" for next time?

Update Saturday, 26 October 10:45 am: Received a call from the Cancer Center.  Seems they neglected to tell me that my neutrophil count was dangerously low yesterday. They wanted to remind me to wear the face mask whenever I go out in public.  The situation will be re-evaluated on my next visit. The Neutropenia is alive and well. This doesn't surprise me. Especially after receiving 2 units of blood yesterday.

Hell, it's Halloween & Sea Witch weekend, a perfect Autumn day and I am going to head over to watch the parade of costumes and floats; maybe stop by Dos Locos to terrorize see everyone.  Being out will do me a world of good - as long as I stay away from large crowds and small children. 

*** If you need an explanation of these bullet points (which you probably won't believe, anyway) just drop me a note or leave a comment.

And so it goes.
*

Stormy Weather Ruins an Evening.

Yesterday began with overcast skies
and a 60% chance of Thunder Bumpers by mid-day.  This news didn't deter the boss from opening the huge front doors to give the impression of outdoor dining.  I warned them, but that fell on deaf ears.

Overcast means fewer people venture to the beach in the morning and wait to see how the day unfolds.  It was to get worse; far worse.

We had a half hour wait-list by noontime and there was no rain.  The place was packed and suddenly at around 2 pm, thunder rolled, lightning flashed and torrents of rain sent the locosguys scrambling to close those damned front doors - crawling over customers nearby to get them closed before total chaos - the screaming had already begun.  I mean, people, you are at the beach, you're going to get wet anyway.

I've never seen those two move so fast and all was closed and dry within a few minutes. By the time the rain hit I had already served 150 customers and now more were spilling through the doors for shelter, food and drink.

Near the end of my shift there was a let-up of the wind and rain, so  I made a dash for home. I wouldn't have been very wet upon arrival if some Pennsylvania Prick hadn't gone out of his way to hit a deep puddle head on and drench me up to my shirt collar.

As I got closer to home the rain and wind kicked up again with more thunder and lightning; by this time I didn't care anymore.

After shedding my drenched work drag and taking a shower, I prepared a festive cocktail and set about prepping supper.  At about 5 PM I heard a loud POP and my lights flickered.  I didn't lose power.  I didn't know it at the time, but the restaurant went dark at that moment. The place was booked:  a sold out evening, but it wasn't to be. Calls and emails were sent to reservation holders telling them that without power there would be no restaurant, though they held on til 7:30, then decided it was best to shutdown.

Supper prep was done here, the food was cooking when, at 6:45  pm, my world was plunged into darkness.  Turned off, or unplugged the big appliances, grabbed the Kindle and went to bed.  No WiFi, but that didn't matter, the book I'm reading is saved on the Kindle, not the Cloud.

There seemed to be no let up in the many storms passing through.  It was after 9 when I chose to turn off the weather radio and turn in for the night.  No AC, so I opened the windows before turning in. Of course, no fans to circulate the air.  My evening meal was a tossed salad made prior to the lights going out.  Hey!  Better than nothing.

The power was restored around 10:30 pm, but I hardly noticed until the air became a bit cooler and woke me up. Closed the windows and went back to sleep.

Mind you, I had no idea of the dramatic happenings at the restaurant, so I walked to work as usual this morning to find hand-written signs "We are closed for the evening - there is no electrical power  -  we are sorry for the inconvenience." I set about my usual tasks but found more than a dozen circuit breakers that had been tripped.

There was a knock at the door and when I opened it 8 kitchen staff filed in.  They were told to get in early to fix any mess, get all the dishes washed, replenish supplies and prepare for a very long day.  They were fine.  I made coffee for everyone, which was deeply appreciated and went about my business taking care of my usual tasks before the waitstaff arrived.

When the locosguys made the scene they were upset that they lost about $15K yesterday, (we were totally booked for the night.)  but pleased that the outage and restoration had done no damage to the walk-ins and freezer.  That would have been a far worse nightmare and could have shut us down for days.

We related our individual stories and timeline of events and that was that.  We were off and running for this new day - which while being quite humid - we were all ready to tackle and make up for last night's disaster.

We did OK, it turned out to be a fine beach day, so we didn't begin to get busy until about 2 pm when folks came in from the beach and joined us for cocktails and late lunch.  Reservations cancelled last night were re-booked for tonight.  Aside from greeting and seating diners, the phone rang constantly with idiots asking if we would be open tonight.  Yes, I know.  The stoopid burns.

Thirty One Days til Labor Day...

And so it goes.

A Brief Update

Sheer exhaustion by all at work, having served 284 at lunch today.  At one point we were on a 45 minute wait for a table. Oh, and BTW, Labor Day is 37 days away and my holiday begins 2 weeks later.

The Windows desktop will not boot and remains totally useless. I have learned the hard way(like so many others) that Microsoft Windows 7 is severely flawed,  (though not as bad as VISTA) Windows 8 has become a joke, and the virus scares, system updates, and annoying reboots happen too frequently taking precious time away from the actual computer user experience.

As I wrote recently, my home phone almost never rings, but I received 3 phone calls tonight asking if I was "dying"!!! Ah, the rumor mill has become active again. Now I wonder where these rumors are coming from.  What can I say, it's a very small town. It would appear that someone finally jumped the shark and it couldn't happen to a worse person at such a good time.

Talked to the sister last evening. Well, I talked and she mostly cried for the 40 minutes of our "conversation" repeating over and over that "you deserve this time away, even if it wasn't to be in New Orleans. You need to get away somewhere." I thought that statement a bit odd, since she was sobbing most of the time. I will send my itinerary and she can choose when - where - and the length of time she would like to spend together.  As I wrote a while back, I think there will be some closure for both of us, at least that is my hope.

The Kindle is quite active revisiting Mark Twain's  many works and enjoying them much more than the first time around when I was a child.  He was such a great writer, satirist, and humorist that even Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn were written for adults as a reminder that they too, once had similar crazy, wonderful, and dubious adventures. It has been a great ride; one I am grateful to enjoy as an adult.

Had a chat with Ron (the dear of Retired in Delaware fame) via FaceTime and, again find the communication medium remarkable and fun to use. Yep, I guess I am hooked, too.

And so it goes.
*
Remember, 37 days...

What Super Hero Are You/

I stole this from Sassy Bear's site. Just had to give it a shot.  Little did I suspect...

our results:
You are Superman

Superman 70% Robin 62% Spider-Man 60% Supergirl 57% Green Lantern 55% Wonder Woman 52% Iron Man 50% Batman 45% Hulk 30% The Flash 30% Catwoman 30%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

I just know that Java's Superman is all those qualities, and more.  I just hope they will still talk to me.

And so it goes.
*

Bye-bye Bill Gates.

The desktop PC died again 2 days ago.  It could no longer launch Windows - and for no apparent reason.  The error message repeatedly that "Windows did not shut down properly and technical maintenance  would be required, or some such gibberish.  

Nothing out of the ordinary occurred in the previous days  to even get me remotely prepared me for the morning shock.  This makes me very angry because all my personal files, graphic files, and photo files will  be lost forever.  So it goes.

"Wave your little hand and whisper 'so long dearie, you ain't gonna see me anymore." - Dolly Levi.

 I am going to become a MAC user in the near future. I'll use the laptop until after the holiday in NOLA. I don't want any new expenses before that happens.  For the time being, the laptop will do just fine. 

Before disposing of the desktop, I will have to perform major surgery on the thing, and remove the hard drive before I send it to the great tech recycling center in the tech dumpster nearby.

I'll have the Kindle, iPod, and iPad for the trip and the hotel provides free wifi, so I'll not be out of touch.

Time to make a few new memories with old friends - yet another new beginning is at hand.  I'm tired of all this Microsoft madness.  At my age I want something reliable, present & accounted for,  without some joker's bag of tricks. 

And so it goes.

*

A Serving of Catch-Up

It has been a while since I last posted something personal.  So here goes.

The visit to the Corning/Corelle store was a dismal failure.  Open stock was everywhere, but only the dinky, round variety that is not my style.  To be honest, Corelle isn't my style either. So...Shopped online and found a few patterns - mostly abstract - that I would enjoy dining on, and ordered a small service for 4, from Amazon. There were vendors with a lower price, but socked it to you with shipping charges. As a Prime member, I get free two-day shipping on most products.

Work has been a challenge and very busy, indeed.  There are 8 new summer employees - students from Romania, Kazakhstan, and Brazil. The training has been intense, since English isn't their first language.  Still, among them they are able to share words, phrases, and follow basic body language. Frustrating at times, but the look on their faces when they finally "get" something is priceless.  For the most part customers have been pleasant, laid-back, even jovial, and a joy to be around.

Some one keeps calling my home phone land line and hangs up when I answer.  I don't have caller ID, so I have no idea what that's all about.

Two old friends from New Jersey were in town last weekend and while we made every attempt to touch base, it just didn't happen.  There was just too much family mishugas that got in the way.  Well, that happens all too often.  There will be other times, now that they know where I live and work. Of course, they love the restaurant.

Speaking of the restaurant, this past weekend has been dubbed "Babies are Us." by the staff.  All hi-chairs and booster seats were used all day, all night, in every conceivable combination. Most of the little ones were well behaved, but that won't last.  The screaming meemies are just over the horizon and due to descend very soon.

A parade of service technicians tramped through the restaurant Thursday thru Saturday.  Thursday's repair went without a hitch and the tech was finished his work in less than an hour.  As for the other 2: Some good news, and some bad news. I was there at 7:30am  Friday and Saturday, with only one successful repair.  I guess 50% ain't all that bad.

While my reading time is severely limited, re-reading Slaughter House Five has been a breathtaking experience after all these years. The beauty of the story only got more beautiful this time around. Poor Billy, Dresden, Time, Alien Abduction, and Space travel: more fell into place at this reading.  I didn't know where I got my sign-off line "And so it goes" until now. It came from this book and therefore from deep inside me.

The Social Security Saga continues: on (or around) the date funds are suppose to be auto-deposited, the amounts vary and sometimes there is no deposit at all. I take what I get and don't argue anymore. I am over that stage.  I wonder how many others are faced with the same situation. I am sure I am not the only one.

I feel isolated, stifled, I need to get out, be with people and talk about issues of the day, or simply small talk.  It matters not.  Happy Hour somewhere on Thursday or Friday would be nice. I put out feelers to gather info about who was available which day.  We'll see.

To all friends with Blogger addresses, please don't think I am not reading your posts - it's just that blogger will accept my comment, but sends it into outer space for some reason. I have sent notes asking that the situation be corrected.  That may have happened today. I will give it a try in the morning.

And so it goes.
*

Memorial Weekend: Drained and Over It.

There is not much to add to the title.   Yes, by any standards this was the best Memorial weekend in years. Mainly due to the misfortune of those areas still to recover from Hurricane Sandy last year. There were many more visitors from NY and NJ this weekend.  They seemed puzzled by the tiny size of RB: the short boardwalk, and small arcade and Funland rides.

Still, records were broken by many stores and restaurants over the past 4 days, so aside from myself - and other worker bees - the world is a happy place. Since Thursday I have logged more than 40 hours on the job. The usual is about 24 -26, tops. But, it was all good.

Sadly, I never did connect with the bloggers visiting for the holiday weekend. I hope they had a great time and very sorry I couldn't catch up and enjoy some down time with them. I sent a text message to Sassy Bear asking about any plans. I didn't receive a reply and that turned out to be just as well. It was so busy at the restaurant that I remained on site until rather late, which would have made it impossible to be a part of whatever plans, if any, were made. I just hope they enjoyed their visit and not put off by the madness that is summer at the beach.

Gratefully, today was a bit more low key with slightly less than 200 diners served  at lunch. My relief was a no-show (he was stuck in traffic having driven visiting family members to Phila Int'l Airport in the morning.) Poor guy. I was on auto-pilot for the last 3 hours on the job tonight.

Physically drained - have the bruises to prove it - and emotionally I just feel like so many nerve endings short circuiting all at once. If you could listen to my heart right now, you'd probably hear something like rice crispies - snap, crackle and pop - with no audible heartbeat to speak of.

The place was filling up again, so I didn't stay for my after shift drink. Walked home in quiet, peaceful surroundings and about to prepare a few olives for the evening. I am not hungry nor in the mood to prepare some dazzling recipe, anyway. Maybe after I come down, a bit of cheese and small salad would fill the bill.

I look forward to my one day off tomorrow. Errands to run, but by afternoon it will be chill-time around these parts.

The next book on the Kindle is "Slaughter House Five" which I haven't read in many years.  I hope I am up to the challenge.

And so it goes.
*

Little Things & Perfect Relationships

No voice, no need to speak - until tomorrow.

Where is CUBBY?

Strawberries, eggs, bacon & sourdough toast breakfast

A mini-watermelon - so sweet.

Revived PC running OK, but can't install printer drivers.

Sun is shining today. Yay!

Grande dame around 80 yo, convertible top down, 70s Disco blaring - The Trammps - gotta love her. Only in Rehoboth.

Rib eye, baked potato, asparagus - supper.

Ordered an air mattress as extra bed for emergencies.

Package arrived - Canon DSLR camera gifted in the will of an old friend. It was one of his. (not ready to open the package yet)

Cara-Cara oranges are ruby red and juicy. Who knew?

Re-installed software - some function, others don't.

Kindle charging following a two-day workout.

Frozen bananas rule!

Sirloin pork roast rubbed, in plastic bag in fridge waiting for the crockpot tomorrow.

Balanced bank accounts.

Sazerac Cocktail waiting in the wings.

Not a bad day, actually. Looking forward to work tomorrow. The restaurant is sponsoring a fundraiser (what a surprise!) for a local campground to help fund a week at camp for kids who couldn't afford it otherwise.  A reservation for 25 has already been made for lunch tomorrow at 12:30 pm.  An all day event with 20% of sales going to the campground fund. Ought to be a great time. I love my job!

And so it goes.
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