Home, Hospice, More Updates and Revisionist History

There are these little tidbits I’d like to share, or at least pass along. Warning: May be long for some readers.

My apologies for not answering comments or reading the blogs of others, but dope and high fevers will do that to you, if you get my drift. It didn’t seem that my comments were required at the time. As time goes on and my life (hopefully) begins to stabilize I can find a remedy for that omission.

Just as the Flu was making like Sherman in its relentless march through my body to the sea, two new things popped up (no pun intended); glands in my neck and throat began to swell to the size of large duck eggs. Suddenly I couldn’t move my mouth and the jaws wouldn’t cooperate. The mouth felt as if I were chewing on razor blades, all tiny cuts therein, so sipping anything other than water was a no-no. Another IV antibiotic was called in for that one - took 5 days before jaws would move so I could eat solid foods again.

I lived on water, Ensure, Magic Cup, and ice cream. Even cooked fruit caused the glands to react and stung my mouth like hell.

As the neck glandular swelling receded a new pain and swelling in my groin appeared. Ultrasounds, and x-rays later discovered that I have a hernia - again swells to the size of an egg. Have to wear a special belt whenever I am sitting or standing.  The egg disappears into the intestines when lying down and there is no pain. Tempting, but I can’t allow myself to buy into that scenario. I need to regain my strength. 

The Site Meter visit counter died suddenly last December and the replacement is one of those free things that counts every hit, not only  the extended visits.  So, just know that I am not so popular as it may appear.  But you knew that already.

I have to work on the info for the Funeral Home (payment in advance, no kidding) for the what will be done with my remains and the info for the death certificate as well as any obituary I may want to have published.  Yes, all paid for in advance. I guess to prove in some bizarre way that I am not play-acting and this is the real thing.

And speaking of Obituaries - or as in this funny but sad case a pre-obituary - there is THIS revision of history I stumbled upon this morning and haven’t decided just how sick, sad, poorly thought out and written, and over the top it really is. I’ve never read a pseudo-obituary. That said, especially where the writer gives themselves more ink than the supposed subject of the piece. This from a person who lives in the past, loves to play the put-upon misunderstood martyr in all situations. 

In any event, he becomes the larger-than-life martyr with each retelling of this tale (it’s been reincarnated a few times on his blog) because well, it’s all about him, after all. I guess I ought to be angry, but at this stage what’s the point. That would take more energy than being sad for the man, which is more than he deserves. 

At this time when my health is fragile I prefer people in my life who love, respect, and care about me. Unfortunately, this person isn’t one of them. 

Anyone involved in the retelling of this sordid, long-forgotten anecdote (supposedly about the subject of the obit although any connection is a vague stretch, indeed) is either long gone or have long ago forgotten the original childish situation.

Anyway, it could be your laugh of the day.  Your choice.

My walking stick has arrived just in time for my release from hospital. The one I really had my eye on was made in Ireland out of traditional Black Thorn, was a bit expensive and would take 4 to 6 weeks before being dispatched. Of course, I couldn't wait that long, so this one will do me well. In three sections it is quite sturdy and a full 55’ tall when screwed together. It comes with a canvas bag and collapses to 18” sections.  I love the thing. As I said in an earlier post, I didn’t want a traditional cane, but rather a hiking/walking stick for more stability and security. And here it is.

Meals on Wheels will be set up tomorrow or next day helping to provide 1 to 3 meals daily, and the weather is supposed to warm up by week’s end. After being in a germ-infested, temperature-controlled environment for so long it’s taking me a while to get used to real fresh air and the cold temperatures. Truth be told, it’s in the 40s but very cold to my tired emaciated old body.

Every hour I push myself a little harder, a little farther from my comfortable cocoon to do more for myself once again. That under the care of Hospice I get to self medicate is a luxury beyond measure. No more having to wait an additional 3 hours before the hospital computer tells me I can have pain med is a boon to me and all mankind. I don't abuse the privilege, but it's nice to know it's there. 

I just read that Hospice will provide Oxygen if needed, as well as one of those emergency medical alert systems (like that annoying “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” thing) so I’ll find out more in the coming week as I get settled in to this new living situation.

Just as I wrote that last bit a phone call came in from Hospice - it was a daily check-in to find out if all was well or if anything was needed. 

The fact that I need someone to shave my head (after 2 months it’s very scary) was not included in their offer of aid.  The last time I shaved was before the shoulder dislocation, when I was able to lift my arm above my head…not any more. I’ll have to figure out something else, is all.

Hell, I’m amazed I’m still here and back at my own place, for however long I’ve got.

If all goes well and my strength improves I will be having a lunch of Fish and Chips with a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale with Linda and Jeffrey tomorrow. To say I’m looking forward to the outing would be an understatement. 

“Do what’s necessary, then do what’s possible, and suddenly you find you’re doing the impossible.” Anonymous

Still Amazed.

*

New Year Update

First, thank you to Calvin for spending some time with me on New Year’s Day. It was a very pleasant time and a joy to meet him in person. Hope we meet again under happier circumstances this year.

Fevers are fewer these days.

Meds are fewer now, too. Mostly IV stuff.

When released, will need to be infused daily with anti-biotic and anti-fungal med.

PT continues to help with the walking and stairs.

No need for oxygen right now.

Eating to gain weight - not much success, so far.

Found more PERN books to hold me over and keep me relatively sane. Since I’m awake at all hours, I keep the Nexus 7 charged at all times.

May be out of here before the weekend, but don’t know where yet. Linda returns from Holiday in Ireland this weekend, so I’ve that to look forward to. 

It’s been suggested that I find a tasteful walking stick (not a walker, please!) to help my balance when I’m out and about.  Something to go with my style, you know - - vertical.

Will ask Jeffrey to scope out retailers to see what they’ve got to offer. I don’t want one of those cheap, aluminum medical devices.  Something with a little class that I’d be proud to be seen with in public.

Have met two very nice hospital employees recently. Both Latino and both anxious to talk about being gay in Rehoboth. Very sweet guys. Keep me occupied for an hour or so, which is damned nice of them. One is a CNA and the other works in Maintenance. They say they’ve been praying for me since I arrived last month. Little surprised by those remarks, but I’ll take it.

People never cease to amaze me.

Still amazed.

*

Lounging at the Christmas Spa

Just setting’ a spell at Beebe Medical Hospital & Ocean Spa in lovely downtown Lewes, Delaware.

This relaxation time was provided by the Cancer Tumor Association and is likely to last 5 to 7 fabulous days. Fevers returned with a vengeance. So far, weather has been fretful and treatments are not coming up to expectations.

....And I'm forever catching myself humming Stormy Weather.

Spending time with old friends here. Am exploring new variations on an old theme, plus giving a test run to a new anti-fungal whose name escapes me now.

Heavily sedated, of course, so can use only a single hand to type.

Hoping for good news soon. If not, here’s wishing you all the joy and love of whatever holiday you celebrate. If it celebrates neither, find another one.

Every day has been amazing and hectic here.  Good things are coming.

I am so amazed.

*

Balancing Medical Decisions

The Friday appointment with the attorney had to be cancelled due to emergency transfusion on Friday morning. I am sure she wasn’t a happy camper when she learned that news. Couldn’t be helped.

Went into full crash mode on Thursday afternoon, so when I called the Center for advice, they told me 2 units were already ordered while we were speaking and since I was already in a crash scenario just continue to chill, rest and do as little physical activity as I could get away with until I arrived at the Center in the morning.

That was easy to do. All I wanted to do was lie quietly so as not be short of breath and be as careful on my feet to be aware of any possibility of falling. Took a painkiller and high dose of Tylenol before sliding between the sheets where I stayed until morning when I had the tedious struggle to get dressed (hard enough with the use of BOTH hands, a real torture test without) and try to be ready when Jeffrey arrived to transport me. He did have to help me with the sling (the dear!)

It all went smooth yesterday and though I was, by this time, very weak and finding it difficult to put a coherent thought into words there was no panic. I had enough trouble following instructions and answering questions posed by the staff. I managed.  I now know that I can go from a moderately low red blood cell count to a dangerously low one in less than 24 hours. For no apparent reason and without any change to normal daily activity.

At least I was able to recognize and be aware of these quick changes nowadays. Glad I made the right decision early enough that no harm was done and the attorney couldn't whine about wasting her time.

Also, this latest blood - O Positive with modifiers for me - gave me a positive kick, or booster and I feel better today than I have following transfusion in the recent past. For this, too, I am thankful.  I am not going to be doing anything crazy, but I feel like I could put on my dancing shoes and boogie around the living room for a bit.

I am amazed.

*

Reprimands, Appointments, Arrogance

I’ve been reprimanded for using the word “burden” in the last post. I am sorry. This is so very hard for me and sometimes I fall back into the old thinking. Were I a caregiver I know how I would feel hearing that word, but it’s very difficult to project it onto others. I will make every attempt never to use it again. 

The appointment with the Orthopedist went well. Given that we were both awake and I was only slightly sedated we were able to rehash the events of Tuesday night. He’s really a nice (read handsome) man and over the past week had educated himself to my case.  He asked a few questions that had puzzled him, but all went well otherwise.

He set up an appointment for a CTScan for this Wednesday - conveniently after the Labs and the other Dr.s appointment at the Center. Even set it up at the Imaging Center next to the Cancer Center.  Couldn’t do better than that.

I’ve an appointment next Monday to meet with the other surgeon who will aid in the cutting up of my shoulder, removing the broken bits, and repairing any damage.  You know, a few years ago I would have cringed at talk like this, probably gotten physically ill, but now it’s like I’m just another piece of meat.  And believe me, that’s what I feel like.

The sling is to remain in place and the only exercises are to strengthen the hands, fingers, wrists. That’s OK with me, because gravity begins to set in after the sling has been off for a while and it feels like the shoulder is being drawn towards the floor. I purchased a rubber ball for the purpose of exercising and use it absently while reading. 

Finally made an appointment with the attorney to update the Will, etc. only to have her call last evening to cancel that one and try to finagle another one.  She got all huffy when I told her the suggested dates wouldn’t work for me (she actually sucked her teeth, you know, that “tch, tch” sound a few times) so I explained the situation - just like Vivian Leigh I am dependent on the kindness of strangers for things such as transportation these days.  

When I finally said I couldn’t understand the problem, that her office hours are supposed to be 8 am to 4 pm Monday through Friday, she really got pissed, almost to the point of raising her voice. So I gave her specific days and times that are usually convenient, told her to work around that, then call back so as to confirm something with my friends and driver. She was not amused.

As Archy would say: “People may think they amount to a great deal boss, but to a mosquito they’re just something to eat.”

I was exhausted and went to bed soon after. She is another one who used to be a friend in my previous life. So, there’s that.

I am amazed.

*

After the Fall. What Now?

Taking the fall, literally. Typing this won’t be easy, since the left is my dominant hand. In 68 years I neglected the education of my right hand that it is now practically useless. I manage.

Appointment with surgeon is set for Monday hopefully followed by a quick appointment for the surgery.  I can only dream.

Since the fall I’ve noticed that I’m very prone to balance issues - more than I originally thought. With two hands to help keep balance and remain steady, it’s not as obvious. But there are any number of times I could have taken the same kind of tumble here - just not conscious of the danger.  I am now.

The ER doctors kept shooting me up with pain meds. It took three tries and ultimately a call to the Orthopedic surgeon at 1 AM to reset the shoulder. The third set of x-rays he ordered show a piece of bone separated from the main bone, so the surgery.

Of course I was in no condition for Labs on Wednesday. When they were done Thursday the red cells were again down enough for 2 units. Blood was delivered overnight and I sat for 6 hours receiving while very doped up. Back to bed when I got home. Even in the sling the arm is very sore and the hand very weak. 

Though I took off the sling this morning to make a coffee and change shirts, it will go on over a fresh shirt and I will spend most of this 4th day of healing in bed reading, or sleeping. I do not need anything else. Yes, this is frustrating, but it is what it is.

I’m becoming what I wanted to avoid - a burden on those taking care of me - and so I’ve got to pull back some, do more for myself. They’re already blaming themselves for this fall and that will never do. It could have happened anywhere - even in my apartment.

Sure the whole thing sucks wet monkey ass, but it’s done and that’s that.

I am amazed.

*

Tuesday Out and About.

Jeffrey was the chauffeur today. Linda had to open the restaurant while the Locosguys are in Mexico, and Nicole was buried in school work requiring peace and quiet for more concentration. It’s raining again, though not the nor’easter weather of last week. We ran the usual errands;  The credit union, dry cleaners, supermarket, and lunch were on the gay agenda as they were all skipped over last week.

An added stop at Staple’s made me wince. I am not a fan of the store or of colour Ink Jet Printers, but for reasons explained here about a year ago, I had to knuckle down and purchase a set.  Neither Canon nor Apple offered new drivers to support my old Laserjet printer.  Not to worry though, with the cash back bonus money accrued the printer cost about $18.00 USD. Now, if only the consumables  were as inexpensive it would be nice.  But, they’re not

Note: The full set of replacement cartridges cost more than the full price of the printer, so stop and think about that for a moment.  It’s cheaper to simply purchase a new printer (complete with a full set of carts) then give away, or chuck the old printer and move on. Sounds silly, doesn’t it?

I prefer laser printers - no muss or fuss - the toner is heat fused onto the paper and there’s no waiting for the ink to dry.  And the printed pages never smear, as a result, crisp, clean results every time. I don’t care about colour printing.  Does anyone care about colour printing in 2014?

Anyway, the ink carts needed replacing and I finally got around to doing that which left the empty, used cartridges with no home. It is now (apparently) a mortal sin to dispose of used carts in the garbage - they need to be recycled - and the only place around for recycling is Staples. So time was wasted as I waited for an employee (scarce even on a weekend and this is Tuesday) who could handle the situation.  There is no place to simply drop-off the used carts and be on your way.  Took nearly a half hour, but it is done.

We saved that chore for last so we could head directly to a restaurant for a quiet lunch. We chose “Go Brit!” for authentic fish & chips, bangers & mash, and a pint of Guinness. The place was quiet and the food light, fresh, and heavenly. No

greasy stuff here. Our server, Andrew, also works at DL but since’s he’s off on Sundays I didn’t get a chance to see him on the weekend. Not being busy was bad for his daily tips, but it gave us an opportunity to chat and catch up.

Seems Andrew is preparing for a trip to St. Petersburg, Russia.  Why in the winter, I don’t know. Why anytime given the current political climate, I cannot imagine.  But, he’s anxious and took off for DC yesterday to pick up his visa to prove it. He’s young, single, has traveled extensively, and knows how to do it on the cheap.  He has a great experiences no matter where he goes.

OK, so I lied.  As we were heading to my place after lunch, Jeffrey convinced me to stop and purchase a couple of cotton flannel shirts, as he had a few weeks ago.  He raved about them, suggested that the cold was going to be upon us very soon and I would be glad for them. We took ourselves to Eddie Bauer where there was still a good selection. We were shocked to find such a huge selection, especially after Black Friday and the holiday weekend. But, you won’t hear me complain. 

Because of the major weight loss it was tough to decide size, so I tried one on.  My stars! It was the softest cotton and most comfortable next to the skin.  I purchased 2 size Large (100% cotton, they always shrink a little) JIC I suddenly break out in fat or something - and headed for home. 

We covered a lot of territory a few hours. I got tired and wobbly, and the swelling caused some discomfort until I lie down and propped them up. With the aid of painkillers the pain let up after a brief time, but the swelling remains for hours. Believe it or not, Benadryl helps.

Linda just called to remind me that she’ll pick me up at 5 pm to view the Rehoboth Christmas Parade this evening at 6 pm from the restaurant. I had completely forgotten that is tonight. I am thrilled, not having seen the parade in 3 years it ought to be fun. If the rain doesn’t cancel it out at the last minute.  

So, another outing and I get to see Linda and Andrew (he works tonight) and perhaps a few more customers I’ve not seen in many moons.  At any rate, I don’t have to worry about cooking supper. I’m sure Linda will make sure I am well taken care of. I remain uneasy at being spoiled like this. 

I am amazed.

*

A Magical Monday

No one was prepared for the shock of 75’F and clear skies that blessed us here at the shore on first of December. I thought about sitting on the top step of the landing to soak in the warmth and fresh air coming in off the Atlantic, prepared to spend most of the day in bed reading, as usual.

All that changed with a text message from Linda asking if I’d like to join her for an ice cream cone and walk on the boardwalk in the afternoon. Of course, I jumped at the chance. It might be just the thing to help the swelling in the feet and legs.

When she finished her catch-up work at the restaurant, she picked me up and off we went. First we took a drive to the liquor store so she could replenish her supply of beers and wines depleted during her time in Ireland. She found a new Icelandic brew that had been raved about, so she bought a 6-pack of each of the three different flavors offered by the company, which is new to the US. 

We drove back into town and found a parking spot close to the boardwalk. The jacket I brought JIC it was cooler near the ocean remained in the car. It was a magnificent afternoon and we ran into people we knew from around town and the restaurant who had the same idea. Many were surprised to see me, others surprised to see us together.

Preparations were underway for the annual AIDS Day candlelight march and service of remembrance to be held in the evening.  I was more grateful for the nice weather because for the past 3 years, the weather has been cold and rainy, or cold and windy, making for an uncomfortable experience and a lower turnout than usual.

Initially, the walk was painful aggravating due to swelling in the feet as well as ankles and calves, but that soon faded, became easier and my gait more steady. However, having walked about 5 blocks on the boards, Linda thought it wise that we share a bench, rest, watch and listen to the ocean. It was a little piece of heaven. I soon realized that this walk was Linda's plan to get me to exercise more as well as get out of the house.  Her plan worked on both fronts. Bless her.

I determined I’d walked far enough for one outing, so we returned to the car and drove back to the restaurant. The shifts were just changing, it was about 4:30 by then, so I joined the crew in a Golden Margarita, sat and enjoyed being out for the second day in a row.  Especially in such weather, which was quite a gift for December 1, in any case.

I was getting tired and hungry, so Nicole made up a Bison burger with sautéed onion rings to go, for me. Jeffrey saw me home and it felt odd not to experience leg pain for the first time in months - even walking up the stairs.

The bison burger was delicious. I washed it down with an English Ginger Beer Linda brought back from Ireland. All was right with the world. 

Interesting to note that I woke this morning a little sore in the ankles, but less swelling.  We’ll see how long that lasts. Jeffrey is picking me up shortly to run a few errands that were put off from last week, so we’re likely to stop off for breakfast, or lunch - depending on how long our journey takes.  Either way, it will be fun, and a third day out of the apartment, little worse for wear.

I am amazed.

*

Thanksgiving 2014

*

Facial Comparison

It is to Laugh!
This comment at the last Throwback Thursday posed the following question:

(sorry about the small text, it's a screen grab, after all.)

Summer of 2014.  With friends Sasha and Jeffrey.

Summer in 1970s. With friend Ted.

I don't know that it's changed much over the years. It has stayed with me to some degree all these years.  I still open my trap too wide when I laugh.  I guess I just have to let it out before I burst. But hey, it is what it is.

So, Mr. or Ms. Anonymous, thanks for asking.

Yep!  I'm still amazed, too.
*

That’s Why It’s Unseasonably Warm!

(It is currently 72' F on November 24th!)

Tequila shelves.

The long-planned visit to Dos Locos finally happened, though it’s hard to  believe.  Nicole picked me up on her way to work around 2:45 yesterday. She was as excited as I was. It was a good time, wonderful to chat with the Locosguys - who are in great shape and looking svelte for their upcoming holiday trip to beaches of Mexico. Owning a successful business in a beach resort means you seldom get to see your own beach, so I am cheering them on.  I think I may have convinced them to turn off the cell phones, but time will tell. They leave on Saturday.

Super conversations with the staff; the Golden Margaritas (two) went down easily. Being football Sunday there were a lot of customers to come by and say “hello” and ply me with drinks. Truth must be told, Joe (a Locosguy) didn’t force upon me a shot of a new Tequila from Patron which is made the old fashioned way (whatever that is) and I have to say it was the smoothest alcoholic beverage ever to pass my lips. Smooth and it didn’t knock me for a loop, either.

With Jeffrey.

After their shifts, Jeffery joined me - along with Frankie, Juan, Nicole, and Bahram for the second margarita. To my great relief, neither Jeffrey nor Nicole had shared personal information about my illness, current healthcare or their places in it.  Leaving that one of those not-to-discuss topics for the afternoon. 

As Joe knew I wouldn’t be staying long, the old Mother in him decided that I needed supper.  So, as he ordered my take-out (a Duck Quesadilla, with melted Monterey Jack and crumbled Bleu Cheese drizzled with pepper jam), Darryl (the other Locosguy) arrived and promptly ordered another round of shots of yet another new Tequila called Maestro Dobel, known as a ‘sipping tequila’ and it certainly was that.  

Finished the second margarita as my supper arrived so Jeffrey brought me home and saw me up the stairs.  (Did pretty well considering the drinks and balance issues). By this time it was 5:30 and I was more weak than I realized. Probably due to all the excitement and the tequila. Supper went into the refrigerator, Jeffrey took his leave, and I took a nap. Supper was warmed up about 2 hours later and was oh so good. 

Yes, I’m in pain again today, but my jaws hurt far more from the constant laughter, than my joints from the swelling.  A great time that was made more so by sharing it with some truly terriffic people with a very sick sensahumah.

Didn’t get melancholy following this visit. I know I’ll probably never work there again, but it doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the company and good graces of everyone I know there, however long that lasts.  It’s nice to know people still remember, miss, and care about me. Even nicer that Joe and Darryl keep them updated as they can.

I am amazed.

*

From Pain Comes Pizza.

Being a shut in today and that’s OK, especially after such a rough and restless night. Leg and ankle swelling made getting into a comfortable position a physical challenge. I sat up most of the night reading; falling asleep whenever I could.

As it now stands, Ireland is going to be hosting friend Linda another week. The results of the original biopsy proved inconclusive so she had to endure another one, having to wait for these results until early next week.  How the results could be inconclusive she says she can’t understand because the chunk of flesh they took out of her was quite large.

Anyway, she’s stuck.  Be that as it may, she told me this morning that flight reservations are made for next Thursday (our puny Thanksgiving - and what it’s become - means nothing to the Irish) so she is planning to come home no matter what the results of the latest biopsy reveal.  One can tell, even by the written words, that she is one pissed off Irish Lass and most folks would be wantin’ to stay out of her way these next few days.  

Jeffrey just checked in to see if I was in need and if I felt up to meeting him for an after-shift cocktail today. I nixed the cocktail idea but asked if he would deliver a small pizza after work from my fave place. He said it wouldn’t be a problem. We’ll try to meet up for a festive cocktail later in the weekend, if possible.

A fresh pizza - delivered! That’s great! I have no beer, but a shot of Jameson’s might be in order. With the swollen legs, pain and weakness, I couldn’t prepare a hot meal for myself tonight, anyway. I am pretty tired of cold turkey sandwiches, of you get my drift.

A nice reward for putting up with the pain. Pain meds following the pizza should put me down for the rest of the night and I’ll be on my feet (literally) tomorrow morning.

I am amazed.

*

Ear-worms, Errands, & Early Winter

This is what I woke up humming this morning. I must say I could play this score all day and not tire of it.  The brilliant Michael Ball & Il Divo - what’s not to love?  Yes, in case you didn’t already know, I am an incurable romantic.  So shoot me!

Jeffrey picked me up early and we set out in the (suddenly) frigid cold weather.  What happened?  Yesterday it was in the 50s and today we’re shivering in the 28’ F range with 20 mph winds!  And…I cannot wear long trousers because of the leg rash. All my summer shorts are in the laundry Jeffrey was taking home to wash for me and the only sweats I have are way too big for me nowadays. Three of me could fit in them. Not a great look, if you get my drift.

So guess who wore a kilt again today? The more I wear them, the more I love them. I wore the Scottish Wool one - and yes, with underwear - along with a tee-shirt under a long sleeve sport shirt and covered all with a hoodie. When he picked me up, Jeffrey thought I was nuts since he was bundled like an Eskimo or a frozen Elf.  Take your pick.

With lists in hand, we were off!

I had sets of house keys made for Jeffrey and Nicole, so they can get in if I’m not up to opening the door, for any reason. I also shopped for a small electric space heater for the bathroom. There is no vent in there for the central heat and the thermostat died in the old heater that's 10 years old. Bought that, too.

With winter making its early debut, Jeffrey wanted to look for flannel sport shirts.  We stopped at Eddie Bauer, Bass, and Dickies.  Finally found one he liked, a handsome plaid and well made; I probably should have followed his lead, but thought I’ll hold off a bit and see how the money goes. 

Hit the pharmacy for a refilled script that has done wonders for an annoying dry cough I’ve had since the hospital. The cough is almost gone completely. Grocery shopping was next then we headed for a few hot coffees and breakfast.

Happily, the wool kilt kept my torso and lower body warm. Because of the strong winds the only thing to get cold (now stop with the evil minds!) was my nose. The old Twig & Berries were fine, thank you. The hoodie kept my head and ears toasty and the feet weren't bothered at all.

Walked in the door around noon to a strange “chirp” sound that Jeffrey recognized immediately.  I was clueless until we walked into the bedroom.  The chirp was emanating from the smoke alarm, (which I thought was electrical since I had never changed a battery in the years I’ve been here) so Jeffrey asked for a 9V battery and hunted down the battery location inside the device.  Thank the Goddess he was here because I  could not have climbed a ladder to search for the hidden pocket. 

It took him a few minutes of huffing and cursing, following wires, setting off the test alert a few times, to zero in on the exact location. Let’s just say the battery compartment is well hidden. The battery power is only used if the electrical power goes off and it functions silently. How would I have known of the battery’s existence?  I wouldn’t. But FIVE years? That's some long-lasting battery.

He grabbed the laundry bag, the last of the house plants, and the new set of keys.  Then he gave me a hug and headed for home.

After putting everything away, I got into bed and took a short nap. Woke up a while ago with leg and back pain, had a quick sandwich for supper and took a pain med. I am tired, so I think I’ll snuggle into bed and read a few hours until I fall asleep.

Another day of adventure and misadventures; and tomorrow begins with Labs at the Center. Not sure I can stand being out of the house two days in a row.

I am amazed.

*

Healing, History, and Helpful Advice

Having taken a painkiller with the evening meds after supper last night, I brushed my teeth and settled into bed. Started a new e-book on the history of Scotland and got taken away for a few hours before feeling the desperate need for sleep.  Just what I hoped for, anyway. Slept like a baby, too. 

“How the Scots Invented the Modern World” is a surprisingly quick read and - for what it is - extremely easy to follow. I thought that after reading all the Civil War, American Political History stuff, it was time to take a crack at the other side of the pond. I’ve watched the multi-episode BBC series on the subject, but this is quite different.  

I received a poignant letter from a blogger buddy turned friend today, offering much wise advice regarding my physical and emotional healing and allowing time to let it happen. His words ring true, indeed. I need to follow them and think only about myself right now. Listen to my body and not try to rush the recovery process.  I don’t have to force myself to be productive so quickly after what I’ve been through. Feel vindicated in my attitude after reading and digesting his letter. Most of all, there is no reason to feel “antsy” about anything. I must learn how to rest. Now, I have help.

Unfortunately, my new V shaped pillow did not arrive in yesterday’s post.  Well, they gave a 4-day delivery window, after all. I just need to find more patience, is all. Will someone please send me a whole lot of patience - - - and hurry!

It’s great to be able to text Linda in Ireland. We had a half hour chat while she rode the train from Belfast back to Dublin yesterday. As it stands now, she is supposed to receive her test results tomorrow (Monday) so we’ll know the good or not so good news.  If she comes back this week, or not. She truly believes it’s really nothing, but it’s the not-knowing that’s driving everyone crazy.

Just a reminder; I cannot navigate the strairs unless someone is physically present in case I lose my center of balance. That’s why I must be a shut-in most of the time.  As I’m learning, not necessarily a bad thing. This also means that I cannot yet drive myself anywhere, either. The center of balance and motion thing again, I guess. I will know more when I talk with the doctor this week. 

Nicole was supposed to pick me up on the way to Dos Locos this afternoon where I hoped to spend an hour or two, but as I got out of the shower I felt a wave of achy pain and some dizziness, and made it to the bed without taking a fall. So I sent a text telling her I’m OK and we’ll do it another time. 

Got hungry a little while ago so I made it to the kitchen for a bit of cheese and crackers and a fruit cup. I’m feeling better…but it’s back to bed now.

And so it goes.

*

Best Laid Plans & Encouraging Results

Neutrophil. My Friend.

Thanks to that tried and true old saying “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry” and the ability of the Center Staff to seemingly work major miracles, everything was compacted and accomplished in this single day. When the reality hit that I had no transportation to doctor’s appointments tomorrow afternoon, mountains were moved.

Fortunately for me, a new patient was kind enough to switch days and times so all my Lab Work and other appointments could happen this morning within a few hours of each other rather than spread out through tomorrow.  

Nicole was a gem; just sat with homework spread out and did what needed to be ready for class tomorrow. Between Labs and waiting for results we sat and chatted in the lounge. When the results were announced I was whisked off to the doctor’s office for a check of vitals, review of the results, and a consult pertaining to care over the next 4 weeks. 

Turns out there is no bad news to report. My blood count is still on the rise - hemoglobin, platelets are up, even neutrophil count nudging at the normal range. The only negative is the white cell count which remains low, causing the weakness, quick fatigue and shortness of breath.  Which is something I don’t understand since Neutrophils are about 50% white cells. Still, I’ll take the rest and hope the white cells will eventually come along for the ride.

I am elated that I need not be infused this week. No blood product necessary. Maybe someday I’ll be able to go two or three weeks without infusions so I can take a mini-vacation away from everything here. Hey! It's something to look forward to...

Four drugs were discontinued, replaced by 4 others so a stop at the pharmacy to drop off the new scripts was on the gay agenda. I was tiring out and we were both getting hungry so a hardy breakfast was the next and last stop before heading back to town to deliver me to my second story prison. 

Nicki will pick up the new drugs tomorrow and drop them off on her way to work at Dos Locos in the afternoon.  Still the number of scripts on my list is smaller than it’s ever been.  That alone gives me hope. 

I am shocked and amazed by even this small change for the better. I am not going to get too excited yet. I don’t want to be shot down mid-flight again anytime soon. Slow and steady and the blessing of having the supportive folks around me to allow that to happen.

It’s been a long and exciting day and I am just about to pack it in, take my evening meds, slide under the covers and read until I fall asleep. Tomorrow is another shut in day and I'll not mind a bit.

I am amazed.

*

Throwback Thursday:Any Weekend 1970s

Old Friends:
For a small corps of us weekend meant busting out and heading for a museum, the Cloisters, Central Park concerts, or just roaming the Village hunting out new eating spots, or getting some sun. Pretty much the only time we wanted to leave the Village - because of tourists.

My oldest and dearest friend, Ted. Met in 1964 at the World's Fair became roommates in college, enjoyed each other's company.  Made each other laugh and knew more about one another than we ever cared to admit. Ultimately worked with Pan Am Airlines until they fell apart.  This caused an emotional meltdown from which he never recovered. He died in a group home in 1990.

Friends Sandy (slightly out of frame) and Bob taking a walk and getting some Spring sun on the Morton Street Pier following a Sunday Brunch at the Ramrod on West Street. The place where I had my first Rum Bloody - Bloody Mary made with dark rum instead of tasteless, cheap vodka. Great food, great friends with bikes, skates, and pretty people on the pier. Both are gone. Deaths are too gruesome to relate here.

These guys and those fun times are sorely missed, but remembered with great fondness.

An so it goes.
*

Uncooperative Blogger

It’s seems as though Blogger has been hitting my drug stash lately.  My posts are not being published when I send them, but languishing somewhere in the  digital ether for Blogger’s own convenience. I didn't post on Sunday.

For a while now the comments of certain bloggers have not been deposited in my email box, but stored directly in the Blogger Folder, making it a chore to discover, moderate, and post all relevant comments from all readers. 

Sorry for any chronological confusion this may have caused. I may try “timing” or scheduling posts for a while. Also, if this craziness continues I may turn off moderation and let the chips fall where they may. 

The few SPAM messages that get through are hardly worth the effort. Most of the stoopid comments are posted  anonymously and refer to the BP oil spill, the Katrina Aftermath (which I wouldn’t let go of) or aimed at my political views.  I wanted to spare readers the poorly written comments from the “friends of Jesus”, but I don’t think it’s worth it anymore.

There’s gonna be some changes made!  Just to reiterate; I didn’t post anything on Sunday…so confusing.

Anyway.  Today is Monday and I am feeling a little better than yesterday. A shut-in all day, I received texts from the UK and Ireland checking in and checking up on me.

It was also a day for receiving personal notes and letters from concerned readers and friends.  Most thoughtful and thought-provoking, indeed. It was somewhat surprising to learn that those folks cared about me. 

So, I spent the day doing research and hunting down info that a layman could understand on certain topics that have always held an interest for me.  Then when my head was about to explode I would lie down and read something for fun, have a bite to eat, or nap. (I enjoyed the remaining half of the crab quesadilla leftover from Saturday evening) 

The good Dr. Spo came through with my Halloween reading, which was quite positive considering, more than I expected and most welcome.  By sheer coincidence, one of the cards in his reading turned out to be the card of the day for today. 

All in all, Sunday was a good day to be a shut-in.

I feel more energetic today, but then I’m not doing much of anything either. Very little pain to speak of so far, balance seems better, so I’m just following the routine. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get someone to take me out for a short time - maybe a short walk on the boardwalk, or just around the block here - start small.

I am amazed.

*

A Backward Glance...

Last week at this time I was setting foot in the apartment for the first time in 5

weeks. It was a bizarre experience, I must say.

Looking back, I don’t think I’ve made the progress I hoped to make, but in some areas greater strides than I thought possible. I still tire easily, only have a slight increase in appetite, find it hard to stand and cook a full meal, still deal with occasional severe pain in legs and back, and tend to sleep sounder - and longer - than I did while in hospital.

On the other hand I’ve been out and about more. Walking without assistance, tending to my personal needs, eating better - if not more, and most of all - listening to my body instead of plowing ahead and over-exerting myself.Yes, I have learned something from this medical crisis.

I check the apartment/studio ads almost daily, but nothing has come up in my price range or in the selected area I could live. That’s depressing at times. But, it is what it is.

Spent a few hours at Dos Locos today, as well. The staff was disappointed that I couldn’t make a show of it on Friday so they contrived a sneaky-pete way to get me there early. Without going into details, at Linda’s request I put on a dress tartan kilt, sporran, the works, was picked up and spent 2 hours chatting with old customers and staff. The kilt certainly brought a smile to a lot of faces. Linda’s included.

Lots of picture taking and FB posts, folks kept trying to buy me drinks (no way!) - what I really wanted was a Rusty Nail, but seems a Mexican Restaurant doesn’t stock Drambuie.  Linda delivered me home (with my Crab Quesadila in tow) as she left for the airport for the flight to Ireland. 

It was great fun and lifted my spirits as so many people stopped by to give hugs and kisses and well wishes. It was also the third day of the first 7 being out and about with positive results.  Of course, I was tired and ready for a nap when I got home, but that is to be expected only one week on…

I hope to be around come St. Patrick’s weekend. I have plans to order a Wallace red tartan kilt, with all the trimmings in Miss Linda’s honour.  Wallace being her clan tartan, anyway. I won’t be ordering it too soon. I’ve lost way too much weight and I don’t think I could get it in this size right now without special order.  I’ll wait til the new year and see how much meat I put on these old bones, then surprise her at the annual celebration at the restaurant followed by an Irish Whiskey at Stoney Lonen (Rehoboth’s traditional Irish pub) after work.

I’ve run out of reading material and just happened to find that more books in the PERN series have been  published as e-books since Anne McCaffrey’s death. Seems she welcomed her son into her PERN sandbox before she passed away, and he took up the challenge of writing in it on her behalf. Anyway, I’ve downloaded 3 that should keep my waking hours busy for a week or so. 

I’m ready for bed now and whatever awaits me on Sunday - being a shut-in all day should be an interesting experience.

Still, I am amazed.

*

New Month, New Day, New Tarot Cards.

I was amused, though not shocked by theTarot Card for the Month of November.

I was quite taken aback, however, by the card for today, 4 November, 2014. Both are on the money. That said, I am still waiting for my reading from Dr. Spo, unless he sent it and it went into the junk drawer.

I am slowly getting used to being back in the real world and though I tire easily I find I can accomplish more than I imagined. My body clock is still wacky - waking up for meds in the middle of the night and all that - but it’s slowly getting back to it’s own rhythm. 

The visiting nurse showed up yesterday to check my vitals and check my overall outlook for the future.  Big mistake, that. Her patient information was riddled with inconsistencies and outdated medication data. I had to bring her up to date. Two hours later, she was out the door with a promise to return next Monday to check progress and perhaps discharge me as her patient.

Hospital fashion accessories.

Unpacked most things from the hospital, called for an appointment for Lab work at the Cancer Center on Wednesday morning, and promptly needed bed rest.  Not that strong yet. Slept through until 3:30 am today.

Felt stronger this morning; friend Jeffrey took me to the Polls - yes I voted and surprisingly it was crowded - then we decided to go out to breakfast. A first time for me in many months, and most enjoyable for us both. Gave me a chance to be out and about while we caught up on news and local politics as I realized I didn't have to wear the isolation mask, and had a pretty strong appetite for a change. It’s about time. Seems I’ve lost over 30 pounds, not the 20 pounds I had suspected. 

While he had me out and about anyway, he took me to do some light grocery shopping for things that fill in the gaps, like (canned/frozen) fruit, puddings, bagels, ice cream, juices, and even some cheese. I have been craving spicy sausage, cheese, and crackers.  Now I’ve got it.

After over 3 hours it was time to get back. The legs took to wobbling and balance began to go west, if you get my drift. So, he brought me home, brought the groceries upstairs, and helped me put the refrigerated items away before he headed back to the polls where he is on call this afternoon and evening.

Linda’s had car trouble, so I doubt I’ll see her today, but we have talked by phone and text. I’ve offered her my car, but she’s ignored the suggestion. I guess she’s afraid it might be needed in an emergency if I needed to go back to hospital. I don't see that happening right now.

She has taken it upon herself to organize every aspect of my daily recovery and I cannot tell you how comforting it is to know that. She sent over another container of her rich, meaty Irish stew yesterday, so I have another 2 home made meals that only require heating up for a minute or two. Nice.

I have part of a rotisserie chicken left and just might scrape up the energy to make a chicken noodle soup later in the week.

It is a perfect Autumn day with temps in the 50s - 60s, which is good luck for me. With the rash on my feet and legs it’s impossible to wear long trousers, my street clothes consisted of cargo shorts, long sleeve shirt and Dos Locos Hoodie. I was toasty enough and the cool air felt good on the rash and legs. 

Now, I’ve gotten out of the street clothes and into sweats, am about to crawl under the covers, maybe enjoy a nap. A lot was accomplished today in a short time, it seems more like a whole day has passed, it's only mid-day.

I am amazed.

*

Just a Thought: Real

*