Home, Hospice, More Updates and Revisionist History

There are these little tidbits I’d like to share, or at least pass along. Warning: May be long for some readers.

My apologies for not answering comments or reading the blogs of others, but dope and high fevers will do that to you, if you get my drift. It didn’t seem that my comments were required at the time. As time goes on and my life (hopefully) begins to stabilize I can find a remedy for that omission.

Just as the Flu was making like Sherman in its relentless march through my body to the sea, two new things popped up (no pun intended); glands in my neck and throat began to swell to the size of large duck eggs. Suddenly I couldn’t move my mouth and the jaws wouldn’t cooperate. The mouth felt as if I were chewing on razor blades, all tiny cuts therein, so sipping anything other than water was a no-no. Another IV antibiotic was called in for that one - took 5 days before jaws would move so I could eat solid foods again.

I lived on water, Ensure, Magic Cup, and ice cream. Even cooked fruit caused the glands to react and stung my mouth like hell.

As the neck glandular swelling receded a new pain and swelling in my groin appeared. Ultrasounds, and x-rays later discovered that I have a hernia - again swells to the size of an egg. Have to wear a special belt whenever I am sitting or standing.  The egg disappears into the intestines when lying down and there is no pain. Tempting, but I can’t allow myself to buy into that scenario. I need to regain my strength. 

The Site Meter visit counter died suddenly last December and the replacement is one of those free things that counts every hit, not only  the extended visits.  So, just know that I am not so popular as it may appear.  But you knew that already.

I have to work on the info for the Funeral Home (payment in advance, no kidding) for the what will be done with my remains and the info for the death certificate as well as any obituary I may want to have published.  Yes, all paid for in advance. I guess to prove in some bizarre way that I am not play-acting and this is the real thing.

And speaking of Obituaries - or as in this funny but sad case a pre-obituary - there is THIS revision of history I stumbled upon this morning and haven’t decided just how sick, sad, poorly thought out and written, and over the top it really is. I’ve never read a pseudo-obituary. That said, especially where the writer gives themselves more ink than the supposed subject of the piece. This from a person who lives in the past, loves to play the put-upon misunderstood martyr in all situations. 

In any event, he becomes the larger-than-life martyr with each retelling of this tale (it’s been reincarnated a few times on his blog) because well, it’s all about him, after all. I guess I ought to be angry, but at this stage what’s the point. That would take more energy than being sad for the man, which is more than he deserves. 

At this time when my health is fragile I prefer people in my life who love, respect, and care about me. Unfortunately, this person isn’t one of them. 

Anyone involved in the retelling of this sordid, long-forgotten anecdote (supposedly about the subject of the obit although any connection is a vague stretch, indeed) is either long gone or have long ago forgotten the original childish situation.

Anyway, it could be your laugh of the day.  Your choice.

My walking stick has arrived just in time for my release from hospital. The one I really had my eye on was made in Ireland out of traditional Black Thorn, was a bit expensive and would take 4 to 6 weeks before being dispatched. Of course, I couldn't wait that long, so this one will do me well. In three sections it is quite sturdy and a full 55’ tall when screwed together. It comes with a canvas bag and collapses to 18” sections.  I love the thing. As I said in an earlier post, I didn’t want a traditional cane, but rather a hiking/walking stick for more stability and security. And here it is.

Meals on Wheels will be set up tomorrow or next day helping to provide 1 to 3 meals daily, and the weather is supposed to warm up by week’s end. After being in a germ-infested, temperature-controlled environment for so long it’s taking me a while to get used to real fresh air and the cold temperatures. Truth be told, it’s in the 40s but very cold to my tired emaciated old body.

Every hour I push myself a little harder, a little farther from my comfortable cocoon to do more for myself once again. That under the care of Hospice I get to self medicate is a luxury beyond measure. No more having to wait an additional 3 hours before the hospital computer tells me I can have pain med is a boon to me and all mankind. I don't abuse the privilege, but it's nice to know it's there. 

I just read that Hospice will provide Oxygen if needed, as well as one of those emergency medical alert systems (like that annoying “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” thing) so I’ll find out more in the coming week as I get settled in to this new living situation.

Just as I wrote that last bit a phone call came in from Hospice - it was a daily check-in to find out if all was well or if anything was needed. 

The fact that I need someone to shave my head (after 2 months it’s very scary) was not included in their offer of aid.  The last time I shaved was before the shoulder dislocation, when I was able to lift my arm above my head…not any more. I’ll have to figure out something else, is all.

Hell, I’m amazed I’m still here and back at my own place, for however long I’ve got.

If all goes well and my strength improves I will be having a lunch of Fish and Chips with a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale with Linda and Jeffrey tomorrow. To say I’m looking forward to the outing would be an understatement. 

“Do what’s necessary, then do what’s possible, and suddenly you find you’re doing the impossible.” Anonymous

Still Amazed.

*

The Ring Goes South & That Card Again.

I am not sure whether I ought to be spooked, or freaked (2 very different experiences), grateful and curious, or give myself a slap upside the head for missing something important that this card is trying impart to me.

As you can see in the side bar, this is the card of the month - second time in a row. It has popped up as card of the day again today - the second time in the first 10 days of December.  I know shuffling the deck is not an issue. I am very careful with that, almost religiously so. This is uncanny.

Sat up most of the night in pain reading, or trying to. Between the shoulder, left arm, wrist and the leg swelling, painkillers didn’t have a chance. Pain was so intense at times the nausea kicked in big time. Compazine helped - but not with the pain. There was no way to ignore it. 

So I decided to pull my card for today and, well, imagine my surprise when this one comes up again. Everything I read about it points to having a lovely time, enjoying love and friendships, and lots of happy, strong emotions.  

But, while I’m in great pain?  I think not.

I’m more than half way through my annual reading of LOTR - about midway through The Two Towers - occasionally finding a bit of info that I’ve missed in past years, making one more part of the trilogy fall into place. With the arm out of service I’ve been unable to write these down, but I think I’ll remember enough as some of the characters (or their heirs) play a part of the final book.  I’m reading more quickly and more intensely than in other years. I guess I need more concentration this time round to pull me through.

The struggle to put on clothes begins shortly. Jeffrey will pick me up at 8 for a few appointments, then I have a few scrips to get at the pharmacy followed by a CTScan before I can head home and return to the peace and warmth of my bed.

The storm system moving through has me moving carefully and with someone’s help. Can’t afford to dislocate the right arm now. I’ll be happy when the trials and demands of the day are over.

And so it goes.

It Happened So Fast

Oh, What a Night! So much can happen in so little time.

Rain
Rehoboth Beach Christmas Parade
Crab Quesadilla to Go
 Wet Driveway
Call 911 - Cannot use left arm.
X-rays - Left Shoulder Dislocated
Orthopedist Called 1 a. m.
IV pain medication
X-rays - Chip & Fractured Shoulder
Three Attempts at Reset
Sling & Home

Lots to write about when the left arm/hand is functional again.

I am amazed.

*

Tuesday Out and About.

Jeffrey was the chauffeur today. Linda had to open the restaurant while the Locosguys are in Mexico, and Nicole was buried in school work requiring peace and quiet for more concentration. It’s raining again, though not the nor’easter weather of last week. We ran the usual errands;  The credit union, dry cleaners, supermarket, and lunch were on the gay agenda as they were all skipped over last week.

An added stop at Staple’s made me wince. I am not a fan of the store or of colour Ink Jet Printers, but for reasons explained here about a year ago, I had to knuckle down and purchase a set.  Neither Canon nor Apple offered new drivers to support my old Laserjet printer.  Not to worry though, with the cash back bonus money accrued the printer cost about $18.00 USD. Now, if only the consumables  were as inexpensive it would be nice.  But, they’re not

Note: The full set of replacement cartridges cost more than the full price of the printer, so stop and think about that for a moment.  It’s cheaper to simply purchase a new printer (complete with a full set of carts) then give away, or chuck the old printer and move on. Sounds silly, doesn’t it?

I prefer laser printers - no muss or fuss - the toner is heat fused onto the paper and there’s no waiting for the ink to dry.  And the printed pages never smear, as a result, crisp, clean results every time. I don’t care about colour printing.  Does anyone care about colour printing in 2014?

Anyway, the ink carts needed replacing and I finally got around to doing that which left the empty, used cartridges with no home. It is now (apparently) a mortal sin to dispose of used carts in the garbage - they need to be recycled - and the only place around for recycling is Staples. So time was wasted as I waited for an employee (scarce even on a weekend and this is Tuesday) who could handle the situation.  There is no place to simply drop-off the used carts and be on your way.  Took nearly a half hour, but it is done.

We saved that chore for last so we could head directly to a restaurant for a quiet lunch. We chose “Go Brit!” for authentic fish & chips, bangers & mash, and a pint of Guinness. The place was quiet and the food light, fresh, and heavenly. No

greasy stuff here. Our server, Andrew, also works at DL but since’s he’s off on Sundays I didn’t get a chance to see him on the weekend. Not being busy was bad for his daily tips, but it gave us an opportunity to chat and catch up.

Seems Andrew is preparing for a trip to St. Petersburg, Russia.  Why in the winter, I don’t know. Why anytime given the current political climate, I cannot imagine.  But, he’s anxious and took off for DC yesterday to pick up his visa to prove it. He’s young, single, has traveled extensively, and knows how to do it on the cheap.  He has a great experiences no matter where he goes.

OK, so I lied.  As we were heading to my place after lunch, Jeffrey convinced me to stop and purchase a couple of cotton flannel shirts, as he had a few weeks ago.  He raved about them, suggested that the cold was going to be upon us very soon and I would be glad for them. We took ourselves to Eddie Bauer where there was still a good selection. We were shocked to find such a huge selection, especially after Black Friday and the holiday weekend. But, you won’t hear me complain. 

Because of the major weight loss it was tough to decide size, so I tried one on.  My stars! It was the softest cotton and most comfortable next to the skin.  I purchased 2 size Large (100% cotton, they always shrink a little) JIC I suddenly break out in fat or something - and headed for home. 

We covered a lot of territory a few hours. I got tired and wobbly, and the swelling caused some discomfort until I lie down and propped them up. With the aid of painkillers the pain let up after a brief time, but the swelling remains for hours. Believe it or not, Benadryl helps.

Linda just called to remind me that she’ll pick me up at 5 pm to view the Rehoboth Christmas Parade this evening at 6 pm from the restaurant. I had completely forgotten that is tonight. I am thrilled, not having seen the parade in 3 years it ought to be fun. If the rain doesn’t cancel it out at the last minute.  

So, another outing and I get to see Linda and Andrew (he works tonight) and perhaps a few more customers I’ve not seen in many moons.  At any rate, I don’t have to worry about cooking supper. I’m sure Linda will make sure I am well taken care of. I remain uneasy at being spoiled like this. 

I am amazed.

*

A Magical Monday

No one was prepared for the shock of 75’F and clear skies that blessed us here at the shore on first of December. I thought about sitting on the top step of the landing to soak in the warmth and fresh air coming in off the Atlantic, prepared to spend most of the day in bed reading, as usual.

All that changed with a text message from Linda asking if I’d like to join her for an ice cream cone and walk on the boardwalk in the afternoon. Of course, I jumped at the chance. It might be just the thing to help the swelling in the feet and legs.

When she finished her catch-up work at the restaurant, she picked me up and off we went. First we took a drive to the liquor store so she could replenish her supply of beers and wines depleted during her time in Ireland. She found a new Icelandic brew that had been raved about, so she bought a 6-pack of each of the three different flavors offered by the company, which is new to the US. 

We drove back into town and found a parking spot close to the boardwalk. The jacket I brought JIC it was cooler near the ocean remained in the car. It was a magnificent afternoon and we ran into people we knew from around town and the restaurant who had the same idea. Many were surprised to see me, others surprised to see us together.

Preparations were underway for the annual AIDS Day candlelight march and service of remembrance to be held in the evening.  I was more grateful for the nice weather because for the past 3 years, the weather has been cold and rainy, or cold and windy, making for an uncomfortable experience and a lower turnout than usual.

Initially, the walk was painful aggravating due to swelling in the feet as well as ankles and calves, but that soon faded, became easier and my gait more steady. However, having walked about 5 blocks on the boards, Linda thought it wise that we share a bench, rest, watch and listen to the ocean. It was a little piece of heaven. I soon realized that this walk was Linda's plan to get me to exercise more as well as get out of the house.  Her plan worked on both fronts. Bless her.

I determined I’d walked far enough for one outing, so we returned to the car and drove back to the restaurant. The shifts were just changing, it was about 4:30 by then, so I joined the crew in a Golden Margarita, sat and enjoyed being out for the second day in a row.  Especially in such weather, which was quite a gift for December 1, in any case.

I was getting tired and hungry, so Nicole made up a Bison burger with sautéed onion rings to go, for me. Jeffrey saw me home and it felt odd not to experience leg pain for the first time in months - even walking up the stairs.

The bison burger was delicious. I washed it down with an English Ginger Beer Linda brought back from Ireland. All was right with the world. 

Interesting to note that I woke this morning a little sore in the ankles, but less swelling.  We’ll see how long that lasts. Jeffrey is picking me up shortly to run a few errands that were put off from last week, so we’re likely to stop off for breakfast, or lunch - depending on how long our journey takes.  Either way, it will be fun, and a third day out of the apartment, little worse for wear.

I am amazed.

*

Full Of … Surprises

It’s cold, raining, raw, getting colder - chance of snow/sleet/freezing rain tonight into tomorrow and I am one exhausted Big Cat!

Surprises:

1. Heavy rains began overnight waking me shortly after midnight.  I’ve been awake ever since. The high winds and rain have continued all day.

2. There’s a new Hematologist on my case at the center as of today. He seems more familiar with it than even the oncologists on staff.

3. Labs showed the hemoglobin numbers to be in the basement again so two units of blood were ordered - for today.  

4. With the holiday tomorrow infusion had to be done right away. Couldn’t wait, but I had to. It can take hours to type and cross match for my infusions and today was no exception.

5. Eight hours in the infusion chair alternately waiting for the blood product to arrive or being infused.

6. Arrived home to find a message from the new Hematologist asking that I call Friday to schedule an consult with him.  Seems he has an idea for a new form of treatment. Oh yes, something new. If I have the transportation, that is.

So there you have it. I had a grand list of errands to run today - thinking that the Lab results would be just fine and no transfusions necessary.  I felt fine and looked good, too.  That’s what everyone said.

So, no dry cleaners, grocery shopping, credit union (for quick cash), no quiet lunch at a nice little restaurant, and no new flannel shirts. We did manage to get to the pharmacy to pick up the waiting scripts, but that was it for the entire day.

Now I am exhausted, sore, with swollen, painful legs and nothing in my stomach all day but a bag of gold fish, a bagel, lots of ice water, and 2 cups of coffee. Jeffrey made a stop to pick up some prepared fried chicken for my supper.  Turns out the chicken is inedible. Dry and tasteless.  A cold turkey sandwich is on the menu tonight - if I have the energy to make it.

I don’t know what is the more uncomfortable; the suppressed anger, the sore butt and fatigue from the infusion chair, the wasted day, or the fact that it will be next week before I get out to try again.

With the winter weather slowly creeping into the area, those outings will be much reduced or non-existent in the weeks leading up to the end of year holidays. And once again I’ll be a prisoner in my own apartment.

The one bit of really good news came from Linda today. She got the all clear from the Irish doctors and she’s coming home tomorrow.  We are all very relieved by this news. It certainly ends the day on a high note.

I am amazed

*

That’s Why It’s Unseasonably Warm!

(It is currently 72' F on November 24th!)

Tequila shelves.

The long-planned visit to Dos Locos finally happened, though it’s hard to  believe.  Nicole picked me up on her way to work around 2:45 yesterday. She was as excited as I was. It was a good time, wonderful to chat with the Locosguys - who are in great shape and looking svelte for their upcoming holiday trip to beaches of Mexico. Owning a successful business in a beach resort means you seldom get to see your own beach, so I am cheering them on.  I think I may have convinced them to turn off the cell phones, but time will tell. They leave on Saturday.

Super conversations with the staff; the Golden Margaritas (two) went down easily. Being football Sunday there were a lot of customers to come by and say “hello” and ply me with drinks. Truth must be told, Joe (a Locosguy) didn’t force upon me a shot of a new Tequila from Patron which is made the old fashioned way (whatever that is) and I have to say it was the smoothest alcoholic beverage ever to pass my lips. Smooth and it didn’t knock me for a loop, either.

With Jeffrey.

After their shifts, Jeffery joined me - along with Frankie, Juan, Nicole, and Bahram for the second margarita. To my great relief, neither Jeffrey nor Nicole had shared personal information about my illness, current healthcare or their places in it.  Leaving that one of those not-to-discuss topics for the afternoon. 

As Joe knew I wouldn’t be staying long, the old Mother in him decided that I needed supper.  So, as he ordered my take-out (a Duck Quesadilla, with melted Monterey Jack and crumbled Bleu Cheese drizzled with pepper jam), Darryl (the other Locosguy) arrived and promptly ordered another round of shots of yet another new Tequila called Maestro Dobel, known as a ‘sipping tequila’ and it certainly was that.  

Finished the second margarita as my supper arrived so Jeffrey brought me home and saw me up the stairs.  (Did pretty well considering the drinks and balance issues). By this time it was 5:30 and I was more weak than I realized. Probably due to all the excitement and the tequila. Supper went into the refrigerator, Jeffrey took his leave, and I took a nap. Supper was warmed up about 2 hours later and was oh so good. 

Yes, I’m in pain again today, but my jaws hurt far more from the constant laughter, than my joints from the swelling.  A great time that was made more so by sharing it with some truly terriffic people with a very sick sensahumah.

Didn’t get melancholy following this visit. I know I’ll probably never work there again, but it doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the company and good graces of everyone I know there, however long that lasts.  It’s nice to know people still remember, miss, and care about me. Even nicer that Joe and Darryl keep them updated as they can.

I am amazed.

*

New Blood, Jettison of Shorts & Touchdown of Kilts.

One Style of Modern Utility Kilt

Unfortunately, Labs results yesterday told me I needed to be infused. The hemoglobin was down a full point - below the cut off point for my own safety. 

One unit was ordered and the port remained accessed for convenience. An appointment for blood was quickly set up for this morning at 9 am.

Nicole offered to do the honors, even if it is her day off. In return I promised a bit of winter shopping and a stop for lunch at the restaurant of her choice. She giggle and said she’d like nothing more than a burger on the beach if the weather was warmer and the winds weren’t so strong. We settled for something a little less uncomfortable - and indoors.

While I was somewhat disappointed in the outcome of the tests, the up side is that I went 2 weeks without requiring new blood. That and the fact that the platelets remain in high numbers as do the neutrophil count give me hope.   Slowly, but surely…

Patience, please! 

The infusion went well, though a little slower than usual, but I was still ready for lunch about 1 pm. And I was HUNGRY!!!  Enuf said.  

The afternoon flew by after lunch as Nicole and I traipsed around the area scouting out shopping venues for special items she wants to get her grandparents and friends. We had a good time and when we were finally done, I was pretty beat and ready for the drive home - and bed. 

I will be in bed in a few minutes and I’m sure she’ll be the same when she gets home shortly. She’s off the rest of the day, no new homework to contend with until Monday.  Her last class is tomorrow morning so I can assume she is in “chill” mode for the weekend.

Casual Tartans with sporrans.

Following 2 days of outings this week I am ready for shut-in mode, if for no other reason than to address the edema in the ankles and calves.  They are quite large after being on my feet for so long. The Kilt with soft loose cotton socks helps alleviate the itching and redness. I even bought a pair of those Eddie Bauer men’s thin lounging light-weight flannel pants, but they’re still too annoying on the front of the shins and calves.  

So, shorts or kilts are the items to remember for daily dress.  I’ve been receiving many compliments on the kilts this past week or two. So, I have a new attitude towards kilts vs. shorts.  Shorts big and baggie and not comfortable even after their washing and drying yesterday. But none of that is true with a kilt,  so as not to cause additional injury or more pain the kilt wins hands (pants!) down.

I’m totally hooked on kilts now. And…I don’t look half bad wearing one,

Similar Style to my old black one. I love it.

either. I am partial to the utility kilts due to their rugged design, heavy duty fabric, double stitching, and the over all comfortable feel. The "drop" is usually between 22" and 24" and depends on how you wear it at the waist. I'm pretty comfortable with either length, but am more used to the older 24" drop.

So, there you have it.

If you’d like more information on a small reputable company with great prices and the best shipping and customer service, just send me an email message and I’ll get the info off to you.  Or, if you’d like, I can post the info here and you can take it from there on your own. 

I am amazed.

*

Wildlife in the Snow. Rare!

And very very stoopid!

A Bear in Buffalo, New York caught doing what the non-hibernating side of the species do during a snowstorm that will eventually  dump 9 inches of lake-effect snow on the area.

***Courtesy of the Daily Mail, UK. Seems readers of the paper would love nothing more than for this nightmare to fall upon them.  Careful what you wish for.

You can’t make this up.

*

Day Six: Homefront

Rain, Strain, and Transfusion…Mostly

Rain and mild temperatures for a November day made me tired and lethargic.

Perhaps due to the rain and high humidity the pain in the ankles, legs, and hips got my attention. Hated to do it, going outdoors, being infused and all that, but relief was definitely required.

Linda dropped me off at the Center and ran a few errands; The transfusion went smoothly and quickly. 2 hours later after picking up the prescriptions she delivered me home and I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Five minutes later there was a to-do list that kept me occupied for the rest of the afternoon. Yes, instead of lying around doing my best imitation of a slug, I chose to be at least a little productive. The hours flew by and that was a good thing.

Spending as much time in bed (reading or sleeping) as I do, it was suggested that I find a “V shaped bed pillow” to keep me propped up without getting a stiff neck or causing more damage to my spine. 

Didn’t find any listings here in the states - the “wedge” seems to be the hot item here - but they’re popular in the UK, so I went hunting there. There were listings-o-plenty from Marks & Spencer and Dunelm Mills, to small stores specializing only in sleep and rest aids. M & S and Dunelm were out of stock (I said they were popular!) and I was getting disappointed until I came across a Google listing for Slumberdown at Amazon.uk.

Surprisingly good prices, too. Checked availability and shipping status - in stock, delivery in about 10 days - then placed the order.   This completed the items on the to-do list, I was feeling smug and hungry.

There is a tentative plan to get me to Dos Locos tomorrow afternoon for a late lunch/early supper. The idea is for someone to pick me up here around 2:30, enjoy a nice meal with the gang, then Jeffrey will deliver me home when he gets off at 4:30 - hopefully after we share an after-shift cocktail together, that is.

Sounds like a plan to me and something to look forward to just before the holiday weekend when I’ll  again revert to shut-in for 3 days. After the progress made this week, I won’t mind it one bit.

I am amazed.

*

Good Humor, Finding Chemo

 A drizzling rain met me as I made my way to the car for the trip to the Cancer Center for the first of seven Chemo injections this afternoon.  These seven are the fourth and final cycle for this drug and what happens after this is anybody’s guess.

It was raining just enough to make the roadways slippery to the unsuspecting, unaware driver and as I entered the coastal highway from the city a Rover on my left decided she had to be in front of this line of incoming traffic, so she gunned it and as the traffic light at the next intersection changed -idiot that she is - tried to stop. She couldn’t.

Maybe afraid of getting a ticket for running a light, or sheer panic, she slammed on her brakes and the rover did a triple pirouette (fortunately not turning over) and coming to a stop across 2 lanes and facing oncoming traffic.  There was, however, no applause.

I slowed down and stayed in the farthest right lane and got out of there as fast as the 4 cylinders could go. I was not going to wait around for the ending of this unnecessary madness. I will never understand why drivers do the stoopid things they do.

Without delay I arrived at the center and the Labs were done almost immediately. I took the pre-meds and waited for the lab results. Meanwhile the Chemo cocktail was being mixed and I got to relax as the pre-meds took hold.

The CBC wasn’t good, although the white count is good. Everything else is low.  I’m scheduled for one unit of whole blood tomorrow morning.  Why not 2, I asked. The doctor is concerned about the iron level already in my body and wants to maintain levels just where I am over the basic limits and keep me there until the Chemo does its thing…or not.

While awaiting the Chemo injections, a text from friend Sasha arrived with an invitation to cocktails at Happy Hour tomorrow or Wednesday afternoon. I immediately text back, ‘yes, either day.’  He’s been trying to take me out for HH for about a year, maybe more. Schedules, family, kids, sickness have always been in the way.  Maybe that will end this week.

We’ve not been able to have a one-on-one chat in a long time.  He needs it, I can tell.  I need it, too.  He needs to know what’s going on with me - the whole story.  I want to be the one to tell him. 

The Chemo syringes arrive and 2 of my favorite nurses are to administer the goods. The injections are administered simultaneously (and at the same time) on opposite sides of the body.  I always tease and say things like; “It’s like synchronized swimming, you know, think of Esther Williams.”  This always gets them going.  

Then as they count down and do the deed, I comment on whether they were in unison or not. If not, I jokingly admonish the one who was off time. There’s always the “I promise I’ll practice and do better next time” and we all know that next time, will be tomorrow. Yes, it’s a game and we laugh and it keeps us all a little closer to sanity for a few minutes.

There’s always a slight wave of nausea following the injections, so I rode that out, then drove home.

Good news is no immediate uglies to report.  Bad news is the damned rash has already made an appearance. The itching is becoming unbearable. So this is what that one-pound jar of the special cream is for, eh?  Lather everything and do it now.

I’m done. It’s going to be an interesting night. During each cycle something bizarre has ravaged my body and it’s been a different plague each time.  Let’s see what this cycle has in store for this tired old body now. 

Transfusion at 8 am, tomorrow.  Hopefully, Happy Hour with Sasha at 5 pm.  May it be so.

And so it goes.

*

Sunrise, Summer’s Return, and Slow DSL.

Still fighting this upper respiratory infection and occasional elevated temperature, but after spending all of Thursday & Friday cooped up behind

closed doors, Neupogen shots and medicating as prescribed, I had to bust out.

Watching the sunrise always lifts me up and although it was still cloudy from the overnight storms, it made for a magnificent show off the east coast over the Atlantic. There were few people around, a few folks in slickers walking their dogs, some cyclists and a runner or two. The die-hards!

I sat in peace and enjoyed my iced coffee just happy to be out and among the living. I walked the entire length of the boardwalk (a mile) before heading back home.  It was getting hotter by the minute making it difficult to breathe. It began to sprinkle again, as another storm was on the way. 

As I arrived, Verizon trucks were parking up and down the street.  They’ve been doing lots of work in town, especially, improving and updating wiring in the old bungalows on streets like mine. Since I’ve been having speed issues with my DSL lately, I stopped a friendly looking chap and asked if their work could be causing interference with my upload and download speeds. 

The look on his face said it all, but he regurgitated the company line about speeds varying due to traffic, the plan you have and blah, blah, blah. He did affirm that my phone service had probably been disrupted over the last month or two(which would disrupt the DSL as well), and that I should call the business office to file a complaint;  there may be some compensation for my being inconvenienced. I thought I’d been promised this already, but have not seen proof on the monthly statements.

The fact that they’re working on a weekend was surprising, but the weather has been stormy and hot,  I assume they are on some sort of schedule to get the job finished.

The work being done here is wiring many older homes for the first time for high speed and television services. Many of the bungalows have been sold or changed hands within families and they want to have all the channels of the stoopid available here that they’re running away from at home.  Makes perfect sense.  Not!

There is a lot of infrastructure work to be done and Verizon’s man said they’d likely to be in the area into the next month or more. So, I can look forward to more disruptions in both phone and internet service for a while.  

We pay the highest prices for the poorest quality service in the western world and there’s no end in sight. And the whole idea of bundling all services into a single package with one company seems absolutely insane to me, especially after the Comcast fiasco of a few weeks ago when a few thousand customers lost all services for a few days.  This is 2014 and there is no reason for that to happen outside of a natural disaster. 

Lungs refreshed, filled with good salt air, I opened the windows again for a few hours to do the same for the apartment. Until the heat became too oppressive. Feeling energetic, I made a warm potato salad, one of friend Peter’s great recipes, and enjoyed it with my lunch.

The cough remains annoying and I am tired now.  A good kind of tired. For what it’s worth, I found out the world is still out there, as is the ocean, and I can rest easy this evening. 

And so it goes.

*

All Over, But The Happy Hour Lingered

I was correct in assuming, by the obvious evidence, dear Dr. Watson, that the holiday makers began leaving the beach Saturday night or Sunday morning. Turned out the forecast update (yet again) called for showers Sunday night and Monday all day.

The place was a ghost town by Monday afternoon. The showers dried up by late afternoon and by the time I got the call that my ride was on her way, the sky was clear.  The clear sky didn’t reduce the humidity however, as we met up with the group at Stoney Lonen. It was clear that the season was over.

A large sign greeted us at the front door - “Irish Sunscreen: Join us in the Pub.” I hope I don’t have to explain this one.

When I walked in Chester looked me over in the kilt and said, “properly dressed, I see.  And what kind of sunscreen will you be drinking?” We all had a good laugh and settled in. 

Another guy arrived in a kilt and we acknowledged each other and smiled.  A while later a drink appeared before me and from the other end of the bar there was an arm with a glass raised. The toast of “Slainte” echoed through the bar. Well, Linda was in heaven, and the others in our group stopped making silly jokes about the kilt and you know, like wearing frilly knickers!!!

We knocked back Bangers & Mash, Irish Nachos (large roasted potato wedges covered in melted cheese, double cream and diced tomatoes), Irish Onion Rings and shrimp, of course. I downed 2 pints of Guinness  - Chester doing a proper Irish pour all the way. 

I sent my kilted friend a drink a little later on, and the same thing happened all over again. “Slainte” What great fun.  By now Brian, the owner, having complimented me on my attire is hanging out and complaining about being in the kitchen rather than in his kilt. 

This was interesting because my early kilt days were in a mostly gay environment. This was none of that, but more. A few guys - young and older - asked questions and showed genuine interest in getting a kilt of their own. One guy especially liked the kilt pin, so I shared its story with him, too. There is a sense of freedom and camaraderie that goes along with wearing a kilt, and it has nothing to do with being surrounded by gay men. Very interesting, indeed.

It was time for Linda to introduce me to another new cocktail; this one very popular in Ireland this year. I don’t remember if there is a proper name for it, but Linda referred to it as an Irish Whiskey Black Russian.  Yes, I know.  Confusing.  But the taste was unusual, engaging, and well, different.  All in a good way. 

Now that the season is over most everyone is planning a holiday somewhere on the planet. Frank is going to Key West, Andrew is heading for St. Petersburg Russia, others are heading to California and Canada, and Linda will spend a 2 weeks in Ireland with her family in a few weeks time. All their plans sound so wonderful and they deserve the break after the busy season here. 

As we were about to leave the kilt-clad gentleman came by to shake hands and one of our group made an embarrassing mistake. He asked what was under the kilt. The gentleman smiled at me and I beckoned him to continue. You can imagine how often that stupid question is asked. My new friend smiled, took the open hand of the questioner and held it up. A deadpan expression.

“It is said that the difference between a kilt and a skirt is undergarments. If you wear undergarments in a normal situation, you’re wearing a skirt. If not, you’re wearing a kilt. Now, do you want to find out which it is that I wear this day?” The entire bar let out a “Whoop!” Then the applause. My friend disengaged his hand from the other and offered a goofy smile in return. Some people just never learn.

With 2 pints, 2 shots and 2 Irish Black Russians under my belt doing their thing with the sausages, shrimp and other goodies, we were about pooped out.  There were dogs to be walked and some semblance of normalcy to restore to the lives of these people. 

I was dropped off at home feeling happier than I have in a while.  Since the last HH party, in fact.  With everyone going separate ways I think it may be a while before the tribe meets up again, but that’s fine. I have a lot to remember, relive, and make me smile.

And so it goes.

*

Remember.

Nine Years Ago.

*

When Jupiter and Venus Align

This is something I'd like to see.  If I’m up and functioning I’ll be on the boardwalk with a tripod and long lens, facing the northeast waiting to see this happen. Clear shot right over the Atlantic.

From The Guardian:
Look up. A flurry of UFO “sightings” is expected early on Monday morning when a spectacular “double star” is created as the two brightest planets in the sky align almost completely.
In what is said to be one of the highlights of the astronomy calendar this year, the conjunction of Jupiter and Venus will be visible shortly before sunrise at 5am on the north-east horizon.
They will appear to be only 0.2 degrees apart, less than half the width of a little finger when held out at arm’s length.
“They will be so close together that it’s going to be quite a striking sight,” said Robin Scagell, vice-president of the Society for Popular Astronomy.
“Undoubtedly people could mistake them for a UFO, especially being so low down. They might appear to move around because of the distortion effect of the atmosphere.”
It will be the closest conjunction of Venus and Jupiter since 2000 but although the planets appear to be kissing-distance apart as seen from the Earth, they are separated by hundreds of millions of miles.
Venus and Jupiter pair up about once a year on average, but their conjunctions vary greatly in separation and visibility. Some are missed completely because they occur in daylight.
The next conjunction between the two planets is due to occur on 30 June next year, but will be less close.
During Monday’s conjunction, Venus will appear six times brighter than Jupiter even though its diameter is less than a tenth that of the larger planet, which measures 86,881 miles across.
That is because Venus is much closer to the Earth and also nearer the Sun, causing its clouds to be lit more intensely.
Those hoping to get the best experience from the conjunction have been advised to use a pair of binoculars or a small telescope to get a dramatic view and watch it from a high unobstructed vantage point.
Venus will mimic a tiny full moon, while Jupiter appears three times wider. Jupiter will also be accompanied by its four brightest moons strung out in a row.
“People who have buildings, hills or trees in the way might miss it, but even a rooftop in London should offer a good view,” said Scagell.
guardian.co.uk © Guardian News and Media 2014

Now, if only there is a clear sky and I have the energy...

And so it goes.

*

Cooking, Cleaning, and Closet Treasures

I decided to be productive on Sunday. Drove down to the boardwalk at dawn for the sunrise. It was more crowded than usual.  Probably due to the mild temps and low humidity we’ve been enjoying this week. Took a few shots of the super moon which I may post another time.

I whipped up a big batch of Chili with beef to be frozen in individual containers. With the constant weight loss I need more protein than usual and that will help in a lot of ways.  Next, (because I had a hankerin’) I whipped up a casserole of white beans, rice, peppers, onions, cheese, and sausage.  Although it freezes well, I made a smaller one that will provide 3 good size meals. OK, maybe four. 

Received an email from a customer/friend from Dos Locos asking about our getting together next weekend.  They have the kids with them this weekend and knew that wouldn’t work. (I’d have to wear the damned mask!) Since I’m done with the Chemo tomorrow and free for the next 3 weeks, I said yes, lets do it. They even offered to pick me up and bring me home.  Hope the plans materialize. These folks are the best.

Spent some time rearranging, cleaning out the closet; removing shirts, slacks, sweaters that haven’t been worn in 2 years (or more), folding and placing them in large plastic bags to go to the thrift store later this week. I found 2 shirt boxes full of neckties which I haven’t worn since the Jewelry store closed, so out they go as well. I must say, I wore some handsome ties in my day. 

In the process of ransacking I came upon my kilts, which haven’t been worn in quite a few years themselves. Well, wearing them to work was not going to happen. A Scottish kilt in a Mexican restaurant wouldn’t cut it. The 6 or 7 day work week didn’t leave much time for being social, so they stayed in their wrappings in the back of the closet all this time. My favorite is the utility kilt that I wore quite a bit. The other is a Black Watch Tartan for more formal wear. 

Speaking of formal wear, I didn’t find my tuxedo kilt in the lot, so I guess my EX took that one with him as part of the settlement. It wouldn’t surprise me. That could also explain why the Sporran (pouch) is missing, too. Oh well, it is what it is. It's easy enough to find another Sporran. Anyway, the kilts need a trip to the cleaners and then maybe I’ll wear them on occasion, like when I go out on the town…hahahahahahaha!!! Ouch!  I think I hurt myself.

My crazy neighbor was hootin’ & hollerin’ all day (must’a been something good on the teevee machine) so to drown him out I played jazz - instrumental and vocal - very loud. Nothing like it to make the day’s work go faster and smoother.  It also kept me from beating on the walls shared by our apartments.

I need to fuel up the car.  The driving done in July - to and from the Center or hospital - almost every day - really racked up the miles, and driving short distances eats up more fuel anyway. So, that’s on my gay agenda for today. Along with the dry cleaners, a trip to the pharmacy for refills, and my appointment at the Center for Labs and my next-to-last Chemo injections.  Yay, For Me!

Time to get this show on the road. OKIloveyoubuhbye!

And so it goes.

*

THE SUMMER EARTH FARTED

It may not be the best title for a Sci-Fi flick, but who cares.  That’s what’s happened, and is happening.

The thought that I may be alive to witness the beginning of the end of human life on the planet is intoxicating. Greed, arrogance, stupidity, quest for power, all shot to hell as most life may disappear, but the planet will heal and maybe be parent to new species when it’s damn good and ready. 

From the UK Telegraph:

Researchers investigating three giant holes that have appeared in the Siberian wilderness may have solved the mystery.
Andrei Plekhanov, a researcher who led an expedition to the original 262ft wide opening, believes rising temperatures, not aliens, could be the cause.
He said that warmer summers in the region, in 2012 and 2013, might have contributed to the permafrost thawing, before collapsing and releasing methane gas trapped underground.
His team discovered that air near the bottom of first hole,found in the Yamal Peninsula, contained an unusually high concentration of methane gas.
They say more tests need to be done to confirm their theory and want to study the methane concentration in the air trapped in its walls.
However Plekhanov, from the Scientific Centre of Arctic Studies in Russia, believes it will be difficult as “its rims are slowly melting and falling into the crater”.
He told science publication Nature: “You can hear the ground falling, you can hear the water running, it’s rather spooky.”

More HERE with more links to related articles.

This from Arctic Ice Expert Jason Box in an article at Salon:

As with everything else in the news anymore, this is one more retribution by an angry god because - - the gay!

And so it goes.

*

Aw Shucks!

Uncle Joe and Dr. Jill paid our little beach town a visit yesterday and I missed them. They were 2 blocks away at the Convention Center and didn’t even call to say they were in town.  I’m crushed. Crushed, I tells ya.

For you non-Delawarians, Uncle Joe is Vice President Joe Biden and of course, Dr. Jill is his lovely wife. Delawarians themselves, of course, and good people.  Our local elections are only a week away, so that may have had something to do with the visit. Seems they came to town by motorcade, did a fundraiser, or whatever and then suddenly whisked away by Helicopter in the early evening.  

This turn of events surprised everyone involved. There was talk that a cocktail reception was planned, but that never happened. Half hour later, the area was hit by a thunderstorm with rain and lightening of such a destructive nature that cars simply stopped in the streets, unable to see to drive, and the streets were cleared of pedestrians in seconds. 

Something tells me the gubmint has far better forecasters than the rest of us. The limos retreated quietly back to the highway as the first storm cleared. A second storm arrived within an hour of their departure. Interesting, no?

Awesome Steak! 

I decided I wasn’t terribly crushed by the brush-off, I prepared a quick supper (in case there was a power outage) and had a glass, or two, of Merlot. That truly was a melt-in-your-mouth petit filet. Just enough for one! Absolutely heaven. To hell with kissing the chef.  I’ll kiss the butcher - anytime.

The storms continued through the night, making it almost impossible to sleep comfortably. And it’s been raining most of the day. I’m staying in, doing some reading and when I feel the urge, a bit of cleaning. Plan to venture outdoors on the morrow, as they say. The sky is supposed to clear by then.

And so it goes.

*

Black and Blue

Thanks to the Universe this second round of Chemo is over. My body has 3 weeks to heal from the punctures, rashes, soreness, and bruising. (At least the bruises are hidden under clothes.) The side effects were more intense this second go-round than the first, so I gather the next 2 rounds will be about the same, or more intense, bruising and pain-wise. Made me think of Louis Armstrong’s cover of the Fats Waller tune from the 1920s: 

"Black & Blue"
Cold empty bed, springs hard as lead
Feels like ol' Ned wished I was dead
What did I do to be so black and blue
Even the mouse ran from my house
They laugh at you and scorn you too
What did I do to be so black and blue
I'm white inside but that don't help my case
'Cause I can't hide what is in my face
How would it end, ain't got a friend
My only sin is on my skin
What did I do to be so black and blue
How would it end, ain't got a friend
My only sin is in my skin
What did I do to be so black and blue

Never mind.  I’ll take that as it comes. Right now I want to focus on the 3 weeks of healing and enjoying what’s left of the summer season. 

Speaking of the season, in my next life I want to be a weather-predictor person. So far, this season’s local and regional predictions have been way off - less than 10% accurate.  I want a job where I can be right 10% of the time and still draw a nice, fat paycheck.

If you followed the forecasts for this area, you would know what I mean.  Expected highs for the past 8 days were to be around 85’F.  In reality, we’ve hit the upper 90s every day with ultra-high humidity.  That makes breathing for someone with my illness very difficult, indeed.

We all know that in July a severe thunderstorm can appear out of nowhere at any time, so why even bother to predict when and where they will occur? But, they do.  The severe storms predicted for all day yesterday (and scaring the hospital staff half to death - don’t ask, I don’t know why.) didn’t materialize until around 8 o’clock last night.  And, they certainly made up for lost time. I even lost electric power momentarily.

The heavy rain continues off and on although the forecast calls for a 10% chance.  Sigh!

I actually slept through til 4 a.m. today. Wonderful! It’s nice having no hospital or Cancer Center appointments for the rest of the week. I look forward to a bit of outdoor activity as soon as the sun show its smiling face.

And so it goes.

*

Fortune Cookies? Feh!

“The Mills of the Universe grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly small. Patience is necessary at this time.” Yep.  That’s the best they could cough up.

 In truth, I guess it might be better than “You will meet a tall dark stranger who will whisk you away to an exotic location and lay you, honey, like you ain’t never been laid before.”  

Hmm!  On the other hand…

After Chemo and Infusion, I met a friend/co-worker for late lunch today at (think fortune cookie!) afterwards I was supposed to take pictures of him and his two boys - doing what little 3 & 5 year-olds do on muggy summer days. Photos to be sent to the grandparents in Belarus. Their government won’t allow them to visit the US for fear they’ll defect, although they have a well-established, profitable business in the country.

We had just finished lunch when he received a text from his wife calling off the whole adventure.  Seems the boys came home from morning classes at the YMCA with some kind of bug. Neither was feeling well and she thought it a bad idea that I be exposed to them at this time.

She is a nurse and although I was disappointed, I appreciate her concern for my well-being. I have to wear the isolation mask often enough, I don’t want to have the annoyance of it when I’m out having a good time with a friend and his kids.

So, like the responsible adults we are, Alex and I ordered a bottle of wine and chatted for a few hours.  It was just what I needed.  A light-hearted conversation with an intelligent, non-medical-related adult who can identify with my current life. I’m a lucky man.

When I arrived home there was a small package in the mailbox - along with the bills. The return address was Ontario, Canada.  When I opened the package there was another box inside. This one gift-wrapped, but without a card.  It had been raining for some time so the outer packaging was very wet, but the inside wrapping was a mylar gift wrap so the inner box received little damage

Now, there are few people anymore who have my home, snail-mail address (aside from creditors and  hospitals, that is) so unless someone comes forward who ever sent this is a mystery.

As there was no identifying information or instructions (and my birthday is next week), I opened the package.  It’s a deck of Tarot cards. One I’ve not seen before. The deck is called “The Ancestral Path” Quite beautiful. I guess I’m becoming a Tarot Deck collector.  Suddenly, I have five decks and I treasure them all.  There will be more of this surprise later.

Back to the mundane: One new prescription was for something called “the magic mouthwash” which actually is a a few drugs suspended in liquid meant to be swished around the mouth - then swallowed. The idea is to treat the enflamed esophagus so I can eat without choking hazard. I’ve been told it tastes “really nasty” - well I’ve had worse tastes in my 67 year-old mouth, I am sure. 

It needs to be ingested at least a half-hour before eating because it numbs the mouth interior and since I’m pigging out on soup tonight, (did you read that Dr. Spo?) I hope for a smooth transition.

I’d prefer Prime Rib, but that’s out of the question for now.

For now!

And so it goes.

*