Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Yes...You Bet...


I am awake.
I am in hospital.
I am in pain.
I am aware.
I am anxious.
I have a mild fever.
I am medicated.
I am ready for a nap.

I am mystified as to why hospitals don’t sell health and beauty aids. I could sure use  nail clipper right now.

I'm amazed that it's 2015!

Still amazed.

*

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

I Really Need A Plan

It has been another 3 days since I’ve heard of any brilliant plan from the Gods on High regarding any new treatment and I am alternately wide awake or very sleepy when any rumor arrives. So far, it’s all turned out to be rumor, cause here I sit.

I’m getting a lot of reading done and in my very confused little mind trying to sort out a legal itinerary for a legal trip to Holland for a soothing end to this nightmare via a short side trip to Euthanasia

Anybody up to a trip to Holland?

I keep trying to write Dutch friend, Peter, for his input, but the words don’t seem to come together on paper so I give up and try again another time. I mean everything from coordinating oxygen, wheelchair, medications, transportation to airport and to the Dutch medical facility, and then reversing the whole process - without me in the mix. 

Ashes scattered all over Amsterdam would make me very happy and content.

If you have any experience along these lines I’d appreciate any input you’d be willing to share.

Meanwhile I await the coming visit of at least one surgeon or specialists for quality care of some kind…ANY kind.

Anyway, Happy New Year, if you don’t hear from me beforehand

Amazed and still confused.

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Thursday, December 18, 2014

Lounging at the Christmas Spa


Just setting’ a spell at Beebe Medical Hospital & Ocean Spa in lovely downtown Lewes, Delaware.

This relaxation time was provided by the Cancer Tumor Association and is likely to last 5 to 7 fabulous days. Fevers returned with a vengeance. So far, weather has been fretful and treatments are not coming up to expectations.

....And I'm forever catching myself humming Stormy Weather.

Spending time with old friends here. Am exploring new variations on an old theme, plus giving a test run to a new anti-fungal whose name escapes me now.

Heavily sedated, of course, so can use only a single hand to type.

Hoping for good news soon. If not, here’s wishing you all the joy and love of whatever holiday you celebrate. If it celebrates neither, find another one.

Every day has been amazing and hectic here.  Good things are coming.

I am so amazed.

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Thursday, November 13, 2014

Throwback Thursday:Any Weekend 1970s

Old Friends:
For a small corps of us weekend meant busting out and heading for a museum, the Cloisters, Central Park concerts, or just roaming the Village hunting out new eating spots, or getting some sun. Pretty much the only time we wanted to leave the Village - because of tourists.


My oldest and dearest friend, Ted. Met in 1964 at the World's Fair became roommates in college, enjoyed each other's company.  Made each other laugh and knew more about one another than we ever cared to admit. Ultimately worked with Pan Am Airlines until they fell apart.  This caused an emotional meltdown from which he never recovered. He died in a group home in 1990.


Friends Sandy (slightly out of frame) and Bob taking a walk and getting some Spring sun on the Morton Street Pier following a Sunday Brunch at the Ramrod on West Street. The place where I had my first Rum Bloody - Bloody Mary made with dark rum instead of tasteless, cheap vodka. Great food, great friends with bikes, skates, and pretty people on the pier. Both are gone. Deaths are too gruesome to relate here.

These guys and those fun times are sorely missed, but remembered with great fondness.

An so it goes.
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Friday, August 29, 2014

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

R.I.P. Lauren Bacall

New York theater goers guffawed when word got out that Katharine Hepburn was to star in a broadway musical about Coco Chanel.  They roared when it was announced that Bacall was to star in a musical version of All About Eve

Applause was a hit and Bacall’s huge gay fan base flooded the theatre, seeing the show more than once.  I admit, I was one of those fans. It’s odd that this Obit doesn’t even mention Applause, which was a real triumph for her and spawned more than a few TV stars of the 70s.

Seeing her in person those few nights, working her ass off, was a thrill after seeing her for so many years on the big screen with Bogey. I was too young to have seen their films in first release, but the NYC art houses played them often, usually a double bill, and I was in film school, after all.
From HuffPo:
Hollywood icon Lauren Bacall, star of films such as "To Have and Have Not" and "Key Largo," died Tuesday at her home in New York City after suffering a stroke, according to reports.
She was 89.
The estate of her first husband, Humphrey Bogart, confirmed the news on Twitter.
Bacall's sultry appearance, smoky voice and provocative roles propelled her to fame, and would inspire generations of actresses. Her mastery of "The Look," a suggestive expression where she lowered her head and glanced up, has taken a place in Hollywood lore.
Bacall and Bogart met while filming 1944's "To Have And Have Not", the first of their four movies together. The couple married in 1945, had two children, and remained together until Bogart's death in 1957. Bacall would go without acting for almost 20 years after his death. (it was actually closer to 15 years.)
Born Betty Joan Perske on Sept. 16, 1924 in the Bronx, the actress had 72 film credits to her name. She began taking modeling and acting classes as a teen, and landed several walk-on roles in theater. A Harper's Bazaar editor hired her to model for the magazine, and she landed on the cover in 1943.
Bacall received her only Academy Award nomination for her supporting role in the 1996 film "The Mirror Has Two Faces," where she played Barbara Streisand's mother, but her list of accolades is indeed substantial. She won two Tony Awards for her stage performances and received the Cecil B. DeMille Award for Career Achievement from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association in 1992. In 1997, she received the Kennedy Center Honor, which the Los Angeles Times reports surprised her.
"Listen, I never went into this business thinking of winning anything," Bacall was quoted as saying. "I went into it because I loved it and I wanted to be good at it. It was a form of expression for me. I love to hide behind characters. So [any recognition] I get is a perk. It's just an extra. Just the fact that all that happened to me last year, it is -- well -- fabulous."
Bacall wrote two memoirs, including "Lauren Bacall: By Myself", which won a National Book Award in 1980.
Theses deaths usually come in 3’s - so who is next?

And so it goes.
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Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Bye, Robin. R.I.P.


Thanks Robin.  Though your life was troubled and sometimes very dark, your very being brought light and joy to mine.

May you rest in peace.

And so it goes.
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Saturday, August 9, 2014

Random Musings

Made it through another 5 days of duel Chemo injections.  This is the third
cycle of 4 for this drug. My body is bright technicolor from the thighs to shoulders (another first) but so far the previous side effects haven’t made an appearance.

The injections are limited to the thighs, upper arms, and stomach and for some reason, the colorful reaction happened almost immediately. There’s red, yellow, pale blue and a strange sort of purple/wine color after a few days, but it’s always just at the puncture site. Very weird to look in the mirror - which I try to avoid whenever possible.

The Evening Primrose oil has become a hit with other patients at the Center. I made copies of the webpage and one patient told me that she paid thrice the price when she bought hers locally; she'll be ordering from Amazon next time.  I'm glad it's helping people. While the oil cuts the stinging, and itching, it has no effect on the discoloration.  OK, I’ll take what I can get at this point.  I’ve 2 more days to go - Monday & Tuesday - and I am done with this cycle.  There are 3 weeks to heal before the next, and final cycle next month. 

On the way home I stopped at the Pyrex store to look for a new mixing bowl. 
My favorite one broke the other night and I am lost without it.  It was very old and the only one remaining from a set purchased about 15 years ago. Traffic was the usual Friday bumper-to-bumper anyway, so it was a no brainer. Also, getting back into the stream of traffic is much easier from where I happened to be going.

As fate would have it, the Pyrex/Corning folks are discontinuing this line of bowls - medium size with a wide rim hand grip - and they were 50% off. Original price was $10.00 Sale price $5.00 Minus 20% coupon - I paid $4.00…Well worth the stop, I’d say.

Another whole set isn’t necessary. I seldom use a smaller, or larger one anymore. There were 3 (my size) bowls left and I was tempted to buy 2, but went for the one. There may be someone out there like me who enjoyed the convenience of this particular design and they’ll find one here before they're gone. 

Made the purchase, popped back into the middle of the traffic madness and was home in less than 20 minutes.  Very good for this time of year.

I was saddened to learn that James Brady has died.  Brady was Saint Ronnie Reagan’s Press Secretary who was shot in the assassination attempt against old
Ronnie back in 1981.  He and wife Sarah had a place here at the beach where they would come to rest and recoup after one or another medical procedure Brady endured just to function.

Brady was always in a wheel chair and loved the fact that Dos Locos was handicap accessible in many ways. They used to come to the restaurant, just the two of them or with a small group.  They loved their cocktails (especially Sarah) and enjoyed Darryl’s famous margaritas, to boot. They were very generous and supportive of the downstate beach communities.  He will be missed, but at least now he is pain-free.

Receiving quite a few compliments on the beard lately. I’m flattered, indeed.  Truth is I grew it because I was tired of looking at my skinny, drawn, pale face. It does make me look a little heavier and healthier, but honestly, I am glad I grew it again.

Anyway, I’m elated to have the entire weekend free. No poking until Monday. The weather is grand - high of 78’F and low humidity. I see a boardwalk stroll on my gay agenda all weekend. 

And so it goes.
*

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Just a Thought: Gaza


Does anyone know when they will begin construction on
the Gaza Wing of the Holocaust Museum in Washington?

h/t Fearguth

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Review: PSB - A Man From The Future

There are few reviews of this performance from last week. A couple I read were written by persons who have no idea who Alan Turing was, or who Pet Shop Boys are.  I found this one to be the most fulfilling, musically honest, and firmly grounded in the essence of the project. It's a 50 - 50 decision here, I think.  But she does know her stuff. The reviewer complains of not enough of Chris Lowe’s synth input in the piece. I’ll wait and see/hear for myself. The fact that the piece was celebrated at all is indicative of the Brit’s love of PSB musically.

I do hope this performance (on my birthday) was recorded for later release, but with PSB, that’s always very iffy, indeed. From The Guardian:
Nomenclature can get tricky when you think outside the box. What are we to call A Man From the Future, the Pet Shop Boys' tribute to mathematician Alan Turing, elegantly premiered last Wednesday at the Proms? A pop oratorio? A classical audiobiography? 
It is narrated by Juliet Stevenson, unkindly housed in a shonky-looking plywood box behind the orchestra. Her steely, authoritative tones remain purposely impassive, a judge passing harsh sentence on an era, even when they describe the death of the Bletchley Park code-breaker's first love from tuberculosis. A lonely bell clangs for this boy called Chris. Later, it clangs for Turing himself, as the piece in eight movements draws to an intense close. We pop heathens do know not to clap in between them. 
Turing died young of cyanide poisoning, an assumed suicide, after the innovative mathematician suffered chemical castration and lost his security clearance in the wake of a conviction for gross indecency. (Some do wonder whether his death was in fact suicide .)  
His tale works as an operatic tragedy and this piece is extensively sung: by the BBC Singers, augmented by Neil Tennant, who frequently refers to a score housed in a large red folder. They function like a Greek chorus, repeating Stevenson's words theatrically, picking out phrases to drum home. "Can you feel what I think? Do you feel what I feel?" they demand, teasing out the elements of Turing's outer and inner lives. The Enigma code-breaker imagined a "universal machine" that could compute, as far back as the war; boxes, now called computers, that could think outside the box. Turing's innermost feelings, of course, ran painfully counter to the law of the day, and the discussion of his gay leanings gets a breezy, almost swinging treatment, full of longing. 
Mainly, though, this tribute is lavishly orchestrated. The BBC Concert Orchestra, conducted by Dominic Wheeler, is doing the heavy lifting tonight. As the piece is often stirring or sad, the strings out-rank the brass and woodwind; I would have liked to hear more from the less strident corners of the ensemble. PSB synth jockey Chris Lowe is hidden at the very back beside some sound guys, identifiable only by a pair of fat red headphones and a baseball cap. Magnificently diffident, clad in shades and jeans, he comes down at the end and doesn't bow. 
Turing's story is deeply affecting, and the telling of it by an establishment organisation (the BBC, which runs the Proms) in an establishment venue (the Royal Albert Hall) in an establishment idiom (classical) is cause for celebration. We have come far since sodomy and treachery were felt to be synonymous by the state. (Or have we? Gay men who weren't Enigma code-breakers remain unpardoned.) 
But we really could have done with more from Lowe, and modernity more widely. Turing was, after all, a man from The Future. Even given the operatic nature of his tale and the rarefied Proms setting, wrapping this man up in strings seems a contradictory impulse. The very best passages here recall Giorgio by Moroder, a terrific electronic narrative from last year's Daft Punk album, such as when Lowe's vintage analogue sounds, laptop emissions and some unexpected beats (from a man hitting his cello, an excellent touch) penetrate the swell of the classical players.

And so it goes.
*

Note: One of the two birthday gifts to arrive without the gifter’s name is a DVD recording of the Pet Shop Boys “Cubism” concert. A gift that I will be viewing this evening for the first time. The first of many more to come, I am sure.

Again, thank you, who ever you are. 

Thursday, July 17, 2014

R.I. P. Elaine Stritch.


One of the very best has left us. I first saw her in Sail Away, then, of course, in Company (3 times!) She was everything and all that she put out there and her gay fans ate her up. Two friends attended her last 5 shows at the Carlisle, and said she did a different show each and every night. That takes guts and a certain rapport with your audience. As least I have “At Liberty” on DVD and can see her any time I wish.  But not tonight.  This is so sudden and so sad.

Variety:
Actress Elaine Stritch, star of Broadway hits including “Elaine Stritch at Liberty” and “Show Boat,” who was nominated for multiple Tonys and Emmys, winning three of the latter, has died. She was 89.

Stritch made her stage debut at New York’s New School in 1944. The actress understudied Ethel Merman for “Call Me Madam” while simultaneously appearing in the 1952 revival of “Pal Joey”; later she starred in the national tour of “Call Me Madam.”
Her professional relationship with Sondheim lasted decades. She made famous Sondheim’s sneeringly witty tune “The Ladies Who Lunch” in 1970’s “Company,” sang his enduring “I’m Still Here” in her 2002 solo show and performed in a 2010 revue of his tunes called “At Home at the Carlyle: Elaine Stritch Singin’ Sondheim…One Song at a Time.” The actress appeared in Garth Drabinsky’s smash hit “Show Boat” in 1994 and in Edward Albee’s play “A Delicate Balance” in 1996.
In 2010 Stritch replaced Angela Lansbury as Madame Armfeldt in “A Little Night Music” on Broadway.
The actress was profiled in the 2013 feature documentary “Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me” (photo above), directed by Chiemi Karasawa.

And so it goes.

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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Bye Archie. Ya Done Good.



It is very strange - a world without Archie - but the way he's going out is totally in character.  With dignity, courage, and class.

And so it goes.
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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

R.I.P. Paul Mazursky


Many good works, and some so awful they're hard to think about, or even remember. 
New York Times:
Paul Mazursky, an innovative director and screenwriter who both satirized and sympathized with America’s panorama of social upheavals in the late 1960s and ’70s in films that included “Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice,” “Blume in Love” and “An Unmarried Woman,” died on Monday in Los Angeles. He was 84.
A family spokeswoman, Nancy Willen, said he died of pulmonary cardiac arrest at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Mr. Mazursky lived in Beverly Hills.
As the nation’s counterculture revolution shattered traditional norms of sex, marriage and conformity, Mr. Mazursky made his most popular and commercially successful films: lighthearted sendups of wife-swapping, yoga classes, group therapy, pot-smoking, midlife crises and other self-absorbed, middle-class indulgences that reviewers said he crafted with even-handedness and generosity.
Some critics complained that his satire wasn’t cutting enough. Others called his comedies crisp at a time when behavior was at its fuzziest. Vincent Canby, in a 1976 analysis in The New York Times, acknowledged: “Mazursky is a tough man to handle critically. He is alternately witty and brilliantly sarcastic, then suddenly, soddenly sincere and self-centered, only to explode unexpectedly as a first-rate social satirist.”
In his most vivid illustration of the technique, he explored the pain and dislocation of divorce, and its liberating effects, in “An Unmarried Woman,” released in 1978 and quickly embraced by the women’s movement. His screenplay was nominated for an Academy Award, while the film itself was nominated for a best picture Oscar and Jill Clayburgh for best actress.

And so it goes.

*

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

We Are Dead Stars

Think about that for a minute. Carl Sagan, in the original “Cosmos” series said “we are all made of star stuff” and he couldn’t have thrilled me more.

I know this scares the bejeebus out of many folks, but it’s comforting and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  I like to think that when we die we go back to the stars to bring forth new life in another time and place.

More later.
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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Back to Iraq?


Yes.  The neo-cons and war mongers are sure there’s more money to be made by wreaking more destruction of lives and land.  So, they’ll provoke - or create - a scenario whereby the USA must send more of our already exhausted young men and women to save face for said imaginary incident.

I am reading the same disturbing lies comments and phrases that filled the media 12 years ago, just like it was yesterday. Even those already discredited “journalists” who shilled for the war in the first place are back in the public eye. Doesn’t anyone else remember?

Grandpa Walnuts can’t keep his stories straight, pointing fingers at everyone but himself, and I swear, if they drag out supreme asshole Doug Feith, I’m moving to Narnia

Besides, there’s no need to bother with expensive drones when human cannon fodder is all around us? 

We will send our young’s to die to make the rich even richer. We will never learn.  We never seem to learn from the past. We’ll be lied into another war and only years from now realize that we were duped yet again.

And so it goes.

*

Saturday, June 14, 2014

R.I.P. Little Jimmy Scott


Such sad news. One of my all-time fave vocalists with the rarest talent musically, has passed away. I wrote about him previously, even posted a link to a YouTube music video, too. His voice could make a grown man weep. His control, phrasing and overall mastery of his voice kept him going after years of being ripped off.

From the Guardian:
Jimmy Scott, the US jazz singer whose haunting contralto voice won him acclaim over the course of more than seven decades, has died at the age of 88.
Scott's wife, Jeanie, said her husband died in his sleep at his Las Vegas home on Thursday. He had battled health problems stemming from a genetic hormone deficiency and had been under the care of a home nurse. Jeanie Scott said her husband stopped touring two years ago but continued recording. He's expected to be buried in Cleveland.
The vocalist, whose first major hit was Everybody's Somebody's Fool in 1949 alongside the Lionel Hampton Band, gathered new generations of fans during the 1960s and in the 1990s when he toured with Lou Reedand sang on the track, Sycamore Trees, for the series finale of Twin Peaks.
Born into a family of 10 in Cleveland, Ohio, on 17 July 1925, Scott sang in a church choir as a child. His signature high voice came from Kallmann's syndrome, which kept him from experiencing puberty and stunted his growth. He stood just under five feet as an adultand his voice did not change.
Although that trait ultimately helped Scott stand out as a singer, he also suffered from congestive heart failure and had a lifestyle that included heavy drinking and smoking.
Despite his youthful sound, Scott brought heavy emotion to his delivery, often dramatically drawing out lyrics and singing far behind the beat. The technique won praise from Billie Holiday, Nancy Wilson and Madonna, who after seeing him perform in 1994 told the New York Times that Scott was the only singer who ever made her cry.
"Jimmy had soul way back when people weren't using the word," Ray Charles once said in a PBS documentary on the history of jazz.
The album Falling in Love Is Wonderful came out in the 1960s and is widely considered to be his masterpiece, although he largely disappeared from view until his 1990s career revival. His 1992 album All the Way sold only 49,000 copies in the United States but earned him cult-like popularity in Europe and Asia, particularly Japan, where he often sold out performances.
A record label dispute prevented Scott from making an album in the 1950s produced by Ray Charles. Scott's previous record company, Savoy Records, said it had an exclusive, lifetime contract with him, and the company blocked Scott's efforts to release new records for nearly 20 years.
Savoy Records dropped the matter in the 1970s. By that time, Scott had returned to Cleveland, where he worked as a hotel clerk and nursing home aide.
Scott performed at Dwight Eisenhower's and Bill Clinton's presidential inaugurations and was inducted into the R&B Music Hall of Fame in 2013.
His wife Jeanie said on Friday: "He was an Earth angel. He was different from any person I ever met. He was kind, humble. Everyone he met he made them feel special. He had a hard life, but he didn't hold any resentment."
Describing Scott to the Observer in 2010, the Amercian singer-songwriter Sufjan Stevens said : "He sang in this lilting, odd, almost grandmotherly voice, but it was also so youthful. It was like he was extremely old and extremely young simultaneously.
And so it goes.
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Friday, June 6, 2014

70 Years Ago

Remembering my uncles Jim and Joe





And so it goes.
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Thursday, May 29, 2014

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