Tossin’ and Turnin’!

Just another sleepless night around these parts. I did fall asleep around 8 last night but was wide awake again by midnight. I stayed in the dark for a while hoping that sleep would return, but after an hour of that frustration, I turned on the lights and read until 4 am when I had to take my first drugs of the day. 

Scrambled up an egg and a slice of toast, followed it up with juice and a coffee Although I couldn’t eat it all, I felt better for the bit in my stomach.

Got a message from the Locosguys last evening asking that I give them some ideas for their upcoming long weekend trip to New Orleans. They want me to come by the restaurant today, and if I feel up to it I will take them up on their offer. I'd love the chance to see everyone and be out among the living for a change.

So, the dark, pre-dawn hours were spent collecting links to websites for restaurants that I know and love. I don’t know the guys' taste in foods, but I hope they are at least adventurous enough to try some very different dishes, or known dishes served up in unconventional ways.  Anyway, that’s up to them. I’m just preparing the list and will chat with them at length sometime today - I hope.

They’ve already made hotel reservations, using travel points, as they said, so I am not responsible for that part of the trip. I know little about the grand hotel they’ve booked, other than that it’s known locally as a hot, expensive tourist and conventioneer’s place.  Not something I would choose, but they ain’t me.  This is their first trip to the city, so they’ll have fun, I am sure.

All this has given me something to do to pass time otherwise spent reading. I’ve re-read all the Pern books I’d read years ago, plus I downloaded a few of the newer additions to the saga.  They’ve been a nice diversion and very quick reads. Sometimes too quick, if you get my drift. There are a few still that I haven’t read, so if this insomnia keeps hanging around, I might download one or two to remain occupied and pass the boring time.

I haven’t been on FB in over a month for obvious reasons, and I find that I don’t miss it. Turns out that it’s not what I thought it would be anymore - a far cry from anything remotely “social” at least to my mind. In any case, I doubt I’ll return after all this time. 

It's an absolutely glorious day here and since it's also Mother's Day, I hope I can find a parking spot near the restaurant.  If not, well...  It is what it is.

And so it goes.

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TMI – Make Mine A Double !

Sean @ Just a Jeep Guy does it again. Here are  my responses.

1. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

Bombay Sapphire Gin Martini straight up, very dry, with olives. I also like a good Frozen Golden Margarita, especially in the hot days of summer.

2. What kind of wine do you prefer?

Usually a Merlot, but again, in Summer I like a nice chilled glass of Chardonnay. 

3. Do you have a favorite beer?

I’m not really a big beer fan, especially not American brands. I tend to go for heavier robust stuff like Guinness when I have beer at all.

4. Can you taste the difference between vodkas?

Not so much anymore - tastebuds are shot. I can still determine the smooth ones from the rot-gut brands.

5. Are you a top shelf or rail kinda person?

If I’m having a Bombay Martini, then top shelf.  If I am having a mixed drink, like gin and tonic or rum and coke, no. It would be a waste of the good stuff to mix it with such things.

6. What was your most memorable (good, bad or embarrassing) drinking experience?

None that I care to remember anymore.  Most memorable times were in my previous life and that was 30 years worth of memories that are best forgotten now.

BONUS

Have you ever drunk dialed?

No! There is no one to call, anyway. 

More later.

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Hobby Caturday

I need me one of those..

More later.
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Night Life in the ER

This has got to stop. Seriously. Another visit to the ER Thursday night really puts me over the edge. Enough is enough!

All went normally and smoothly with the late transfusion on Thursday afternoon. Unplugged, patched and sent on my way, I was home at supper time, but not hungry.

Suddenly, I felt a tickle on the right side of my chest and when I went to scratch it, it was wet. When I looked at my hand, it was blood stained.  Fortunately, it was staining an old tee-shirt, but as I checked the mirror I found the gauze bandage saturated with blood.  The puncture wound had not closed completely and was producing a slow, steady drip.

I removed the bandage to find that although the blood had tried to coagulate, it just hadn't. I cleaned the area, replaced the gauze patch and tape, snagged an ice bag and propped myself up to read until the bleeding stopped.  Ice usually does the trick quickly.  Not this time.

As the night wore on, I changed the bandage thrice more and it was still not cooperating. There was a slight pressure/pain in the area so I thought that maybe something had damaged the port somehow, and I didn’t have any info about what to do differently in such a situation. Couldn’t find any other info on the Web other than what I had already been doing: Ice, Pressure, and fresh Bandage.

By this time it was almost midnight and I had been up for 24 hours (right, insomnia has been a problem, too.) but I was afraid that the Heparin solution may have been drained and I would have trouble with a clot next week when the port was accessed again for Lab work. I was exhausted, but still not sleepy.

Finally, I dressed and drove to the ER in the chilly, foggy night air.  I felt chills and even slightly feverish, but that was the least of my concerns. I had to stop the bleeding, somehow.

The ER was packed even at that hour. (I guess many folks still haven’t signed up for Obamacare around here.) As I registered and told the nurse the situation, she checked my files (you’d think they’d have them memorized by now!), noticed that I am a cancer patient at the Center and within 10 minutes I was in an exam room with a handsome, ginger doctor hovering over my open wound. 

Since I had all my paperwork and lab results from the day with me, they could forgo the preliminary testing and just get to the problem. The port was checked carefully for any damage or defect, none was found. Sitting up straight the entire time (lying down caused more blood to flow, glad I sat up with the icepack at home before I came)  the doc examined the whole area with great care and sensitivity.  Feeling for the tiny tubing as traced its track.

A clear salve called LET was applied (it contains Epinephrine) to halt the superficial blood flow. This was bandaged and taped tightly. I had to sit or stand for a half hour while the salve did its thing. When the hot doc returned and removed the bandage, the flow had all but stopped, so he repeated the application. 15 minutes later, the wound was dry.  He then applied surgical glue to the area which will eventually wash away in the shower.

It was 2:30 am Friday as I drove back to town in a heavy fog that matched my state of mind, being sleep deprived for so long.  But when I arrived home I wasn’t sleepy. Instead, I sat up and read until I finally became drowsy at about 5 am.  I was awake, I mean wide awake, at 7:30, again, unable to sleep. 

The Chemo was finally delivered in late afternoon, and I forced myself to eat something - other than fruit cups) at supper time. Took a shower and climbed back into bed at around 7, but again, sleep was slow to come.

I was awake again at 12:30 am this morning and don’t know what to make of any of this. Just another day in the wide, wide world of medicine and medical mishugas.

And so it goes.

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As Luck Would Have it...

Wouldn’t you know that as I dressed for my Labs appointment at the cancer center this morning - it began to rain…heavily. Of course, I didn’t want to drive on the highway with only one good wiper blade, so I quickly finished dressing, grabbed a roll of paper towels and ran to the car.

The idea was to find a sheltered, or semi-sheltered overhang where I could replace the old blades without drowning in the process. I drove around town trying to remember the car parks of the major hotels and which were protected from the weather, or at least from rain. Funny how those obvious things never stick in memory. Finally found one that was easily accessible (others had to be activated by hotel keys) which is a stupid idea, but I guess it works for them.

It was just after dawn so no one was around to shoo me away. After unwrapping the new wiper blades I ducked out and dried the windshield and old wipers as well as I could to get a good grip. The old ones came off without a hitch.  The new ones however, the Michelin’s were the newer “universal” type that fit many make and model cars.

It took a good 15 minutes to figure out which of the adapters were appropriate for the Corolla, but I got them on, finally. Hands filthy and black from the rubber, fingers cramping from the cold and necessary manipulation of the blades, I made my way to the cancer center where I just had time to use the restroom to scrub my hands and clean my fingernails before being called for the lab work. 

It is a relief to know that’s one less thing to worry about this weekend. On the way back into town to wait for a call to return for a single unit transfusion, I stopped at the the Municipal Building to pick up my 2014 Resident Parking Permit. They’re issued by the city annually so residents can park on the streets free of charge.  A nice little gift. Of course, they’re only valid in the non-metered parking spaces around town.

Got the call from the Revlimid company and told that my new monthly prescription will arrive tomorrow, Friday.  That means, class, I must be here to sign which translates to another day lost, since "next day" delivery service means just that: no specific time for delivery - could be 8 am or 8 pm.  Stuck!

Just received the call from the center at 2:20 that the blood will be delivered there in a half hour.  This means another late day transfusion session at the center, probably won’t get back until 6 or so.  Bother!  

And, I'm Off!  Again...

And so it goes.

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Ready? Not so Fast.

I woke this morning feeling more energized than I have in weeks. Not wanting to push my luck, but I decided this was as good a time as any to take on my “must-do" list - that didn’t get done yesterday.  That extra day of rest seemed to do it for me.

Gathered myself together and  with list in hand went down to the bright yellow dusted car. A beautiful day with clear blue skies greeted me as I opened the front door. The air was fresh and clean after  all the rain, and it was chilly, at least for my bones. I took a few rags to clean off the car windows and windshield. It was an easy job, the dew was heavy and everything just slid right off onto the rags. I then got into the car and started the engine. The windshield was still a bit smudged so I turned on the wipers and spritzed the glass with wiper fluid.

Imagine my surprise when half of the wiper blade on the passenger side began to flop around.  Yes, the winter had done a number on the wipers, made them brittle and now they need to be replaced.  Funny thing, the first chore on the list was the Inspection Station, which, of course, was now out of the question. I hate when a monkey wrench is thrown into my well-laid plans for the most efficient use of the day.

So, instead of the DMV I spent more time than I should have hunting down the proper wiper blades for my car. The GOOD: it’s a very popular, reliable car so they are everywhere.  The BAD: since they are so common  it’s hard to find wiper blades in the most common of places. Even (I hate to admit this) Walmart didn’t have anything of a brand name. Why did I expect more?

Finally stopped at a tiny out-of-the-way Auto Parts shop as a last resort and wouldn’t you know, they had them.  Michelin brand, too.  They were a bit dusty but still in their packaging. The owner checked to make sure they were in good condition before selling them to me. I gladly paid him the $20.00 and was on my way.

Two more errands were scratched off the list before I began to fade and have trouble breathing. Instinctively knew I had better get back home soon. Now I have to see if I can change the blades myself, or need to have someone else do it. My hands don’t work as they used to.  Then I have to pay a visit to the car wash to get the buggy cleaned up before I take it to the DMV.

I got the printer setup today, as well.  It took longer than I expected because I simply forgot how to ‘add a printer’.  Honest to Pete, I really forgot something so simple.  Thanks to Google I found the info and was able to download the latest drivers and install the printer.  Worked the first time. That’s a relief. No more worrying about inks or damp printouts. And the printer itself is less than half the size of the previous one and 2/3 the size of the Inkjet printer. 

All in all, a sort of productive day after all.

And so it goes.

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Unsettling Yellow Dust Settling

Managed to stay awake most of yesterday, but didn’t have the stamina to do any shopping.  No fear, I have plenty here, just no appetite for consuming it.

Even though I was in bed reading most of the day, I managed to make another “to-do” list for the upcoming week, as well as a short “must-do” list for today. 

It’s time for the car to be inspected again and that’s a long drive in my present condition, but I’ll see how I feel later. I hard-cooked a half-dozen eggs for future breakfasts and snacks, dragged the new printer (remember the new printer?) still in it’s original packing into the room to be set up - at some point - and there are bills to pay as well. 

I have  to take it easy because I get short of breath very quickly.  Have more energy today, not quite so groggy or off balance, welts and discoloration continue to disappear, albeit slowly. But it’s raining and windy, so I’m not thrilled about going out in this weather. 

Of course, it would probably be better if I went out in the rain rather than wait for another sunny day. The pollen, that ubiquitous yellow dust, is everywhere and I can feel the effects in my throat and sinuses. Even with the windows shut tight and the vent fan running, it seems to be everywhere.  So that’s something to consider, as well.

I haven’t been on the computer much in the last 2 weeks and I miss the daily reads of my fave bloggers, but maybe I can begin to catch up as the week progresses and (hopefully) I do, too. 

I hope I don’t experience a repeat of last weekend, but there’s just no guarantee it won’t happen again. I guess I should be grateful that - in the grand scale of things - this was a minor incident, easily remedied no matter how discomforting.

Onward and upward!

And so it goes.

*

A Weekend Lost to the Stars.

Almost literally. An allergic reaction to the transfusion on Friday sent me to the hospital on Saturday morning. I was kept overnight and as the symptoms receded on Sunday, they sent me home. 

Having been pumped full of Benadryl for 2 days all I wanted to do was sleep, anyway. Dehydration was also a problem, so they kept a saline solution IV going to replenish those “precious bodily fluids” while I slept.  I mean, I was really out of it. 

I was informed that the more frequent the transfusions the more likely (statistically) I will have some reaction or other to various nasties floating around in the new blood. My compromised immune system isn’t very helpful in this case. So, it’s all a matter of time, really.  Something more to look forward to, I suppose.

Slept all of saturday and most of sunday, before they sent me home.  It’s all kind of hazy now, but I got home and threw myself on top of the bed covers and went to sleep again.  Woke at around midnight, groggy and thirsty, so I had a Jello and a tall glass of water, took off my street clothes and climbed under the covers.  Slept fitfully for another 3 hours, so I guess I wasn’t quite over the Benadryl after all.

Feeling much better this morning, though still no  appetite to speak of. There are a couple of fruit & jello cups and a yogurt, or two left in the refrigerator, so I’ve got to get to the store as soon as I feel strong enough to move about on my own.  I’m not as shaky as I was and my head feels clearer, too. The welts  and skin discoloration are all but gone today, though I still itch a bit.

I may have a little soup to give me a boost so that maybe I can make the drive to the store for supplies. I don’t need much, at least nothing to prepare a full meal.  I’m not up to that at the moment. Just a few snack things to ingest when I really need something in my stomach. I’m afraid to find out how much more weight I’ve lost over these past 3 days.

I need to check the mailbox. After all the rainstorms we’ve had, I don’t know what condition any of the mail will be in, but at this point - since it’s likely to be mostly medical statements - I don’t care much.  There will be more of the same in a few days, no fear of that. 

If I can keep this act together I hope to have a chat with the sister to see how she is doing.  It’s been a week and she has been in her home since the middle of last week, I assume. If I’m not up to it I won’t call, the last thing she needs is more to worry about while she’s trying to heal herself. 

I hope she’s having better luck at it than I am.

More later. Maybe...

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TMI: WHAT'S IN A NAME? (Quoting Shakespeare)

1. Do you have a favorite flower?

Two, actually. The Carnation and the Peony.

2. Do you like your name (first)?

Love it.  Last name not so much. Growing up no one else I knew had my name, which can be a good or bad thing.

3. Does your name have a meaning?

Wayne
The name Wayne is a baby boy name.
English Meaning:
The name Wayne is an English baby name. In English the meaning of the name Wayne is: Craftsman; wagon-wright; wagon driver. Famous Bearer: U.S. Actor John Wayne.
SoulUrge Number: 6
People with this name have a deep inner desire for a stable, loving family or community, and a need to work with others and to be appreciated.
Expression Number: 5
People with this name are excited by change, adventure, and excitement. They are dynamic, visionary and versatile, able to make constructive use of freedom. They fight being restricted by rules and conventions. They tend to be optimistic, energetic, intelligent, and to make friends easily. They may be changeable, restless, untidy, and rebellious.

4. Do you have (a) nickname?

My Russian, Ukrainian, and Eastern European friends at work call me Waynechik. An endearing nickname, indeed.

5. Would you ever consider changing your name?

Not the first name, but I've certainly considered changing the last, many many times. It’s not a family name I’m very proud of.

6. What name have you heard that you hate?

I don’t hate any name. I mean, as long as it isn’t mine and someone has to live with it, it’s all we really have on this planet that no one can take away from us. I also make every attempt to pronounce a person’s name properly and not Americanize it, if possible. It’s the respectful thing to do, is all.

7. What name have you heard that you love?

I’m prone to enjoy simple names and not those that are contractions of the original - like Bill for William, etc. Names like Wayne, Scott, Ian, Wendy, Sean, Sara, and the like. That way people can’t fuck around with it too much.

8. How did you pick the name(s) of your pets?

I can have no pets nowadays, but mine were usually named after some trait or habit they had that was endearing to me. It seemed the right way to go since as soon as I’d choose a name and use it to call them, they understood and came immediately.

9. Do you name inanimate objects? Name some of them.

Nope. I do have a stuffed Lion given to me by an AIDS buddy that he named “Leo” does that count?

10. Did you name your penis or breasts? Has anyone else?

NOPE! I dislike the common usage of words like “junk” to describe a man’s genitals. I do not have junk between my legs and if I did, I wouldn't be very proud of the fact.

BONUS

In an episode of the Golden Girls, Dorothy had a night of sex that was sooooo good they named it. Tell me about night you had like that. 

Unfortunately, that has never happened to me.

And so it goes.

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Spring Caturday

Finally!  No more rain and collapsing roadways. Yes!  Feels like spring.

More later.
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Inconsiderate A$$-holes!

And I say that in the most Christian way possible.

Spent the morning being infused at the center. One unit today and the port-a-cath makes a world of difference. No pain at all. No more poking or prodding to find a good viable vein.  The stress, discomfort of the surgery and post surgical TLC was worth it in the end. 

I then dodged raindrops, braced against strong winds only to discover - at the very last shopping venue, mind you - that someone (with more money than brains) in their Cadillac SUV had hemmed my car into the parking spot. 

Seems they had to park on my left (closer to the door, dontcha know) although there were many other spots around my car.  He/‘she hemmed me in so that I couldn’t get into the driver’s side door. Their monstrosity was no more than 4 inches from my side mirror.  AND, they parked at an angle, which would make it even trickier to get out of the space once I got inside the car.

I finally managed to get inside by climbing over from the passenger seat - that alone did a number on my bad back. I felt like a reject from Cirque du Soleil. Fortunately, there were no packages on the front seats, so that made things less complicated. Once situated, it took 4 or 5 various maneuvers of the car to eventually get out of the spot without causing damage. Yes, it was that close.  But I did it.

I wrote a note and put it under the wiper of the jerk’s car.  Not that they’ll give a damn, but it made me feel better. I also took down the license plate number, JIC I see the prick again. 

Then I came home and designed and printed a bunch of these cards.  I remember something similar when I lived in NJ, they were mostly angry photocopied post-it notes, up until now, hadn’t the need of them here.  Times have changed.  I kind of like the idea of leaving them behind although a part of me would love to be around when the assholes get back and read the things.  How would they react?  I wonder.

Anyway…

Needless to say that the food stuffs ordered from the Amish store for Easter were never retrieved. Neither Deb nor I got a chance to get back there to pick up our orders. Her mother had surgery and I was in no condition to travel at that point, anyway. I called the store today and was told that I would still have to pay the balance owed on the rabbits (which were a special order) but the other items could be picked up at any time.  I still have my receipt and I hope Deb has her, too.  Who knows? 

With our lives in such chaos back then, if she had the presence of mind to stuff the receipts in her purse or, as I do, put them under a magnet on the refrigerator. 

I’ll ask her when she returns from PA this weekend with her parents in tow. Recovery at the beach is always the best medicine, and we all know that to be true. If so, we can take a ride to the store in the near future - before Memorial Day Madness - and get the other things we originally wanted for ourselves. I think we could both use the break and a festive little outing on the back roads of Delaware.

I’d love to take a long ride but afraid to do it alone in case something happened.  I’d not want to be the cause of an accident or do harm to anyone else on the road, if you get my drift.

And so it goes.
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What’s That in the Mirror?

Animal, Mineral, or Vegetable?  Maybe a mutation of all three.  Whatever it is, it’s ghastly. 

But it IS alive. Of that I am sure. It’s the first day of May and the first time I’ve looked into a mirror in 3 days. I mean, what’s the point? 

Trying to get coordinates for the day and so far I’ve only succeeded in spilling coffee on myself, burning the sourdough toast to a fare-thee-well, and tossing out a few not-so-fresh vegetables that never made it into recipes I did not make.

Checked my email to find out what (if anything) I should attend to, only to find a nice surprise waiting for me. A $100.00 Amazon Gift Card from a company I’ve been doing surveys for since 2006. Who knew they offered such rewards? I never noticed these things before.  

Seems whenever one completes a survey 500 points are added to that account. I usually get 1 survey weekly, or 3 monthly, depending on what’s happening in the world. I just complete the surveys for fun to offer my opinions.  They want opinions, I got'em! But there it is. It will take a week or two to be delivered to my home address, but hey!, a surprise like that is well worth the wait. 

The wound is just about healed.  All the sani-strips have fallen off and the skin looks pretty healthy underneath.  The healing time has been longer than usual because of the Danazol, a steroid that inhibits all these good things the body wants to do.  (Sigh!) The itching is driving me crazy, so that’s a good sign.  I guess.

Just in time, too. I have Labs this morning to check the usual CBC as well as the reaction to the Chemo. Seriously, I’ve had no overt negative symptoms to the Chemo, which surprises me since I’ve had such violent reactions to other not-so-lethal drugs.  But, I’ll take that as good news if it’s doing anything positive to address and heal the disease.

I think a shower and a good face-scraping will make me feel a whole lot better, so that’s where I’m heading next. Maybe that will cheer me up and give a  positive spin to this otherwise dismal, gloomy, rainy day.

And so it goes.

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