None of This Makes any Census!

Woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed, (OK, maybe not, but it was fun to type) and prepped myself for a morning involving an exam and possibly long waiting period.

I downloaded the practice exam two days ago and read the instructions carefully. Most of it didn’t make any sense – even when I held it up to a mirror. What should I have expected of the Federal Government?

You see, the Census Bureau –which is short for bureaucracy – recruited me and the exam was scheduled for today at 8:30 am. I was told the exam is timed; 28 answers to be completed in 30 minutes; that I should block at least 2 hours because they scored the exams and provided your individual results, so it might take that long if the group was large. There were 15 applicants.

Having completed and printed the application as suggested by the recruiter, I was ready to go. The other 14 were not. Yes, 14 of the 15 applicants had not completed the application; said they didn’t know it was online, then spent the next 20 minutes doing just that because the examiner couldn’t begin the test until applications were completed, as well as the additional form from Homeland Security – ‘cause we might be terrorists – and two forms of ID was confirmed. One woman attempted to use her Library card, another whined that she shouldn’t have to take the test again because she worked the 2000 census; one elderly veteran gentleman presented something from the VFW, or other military papers.

I couldn’t believe it. Are people really so dumb these days? If only folks had followed instructions at the Census 2010 website - or took notes if/when they were recruited, there would have been no confusion and things would have gone smoothly. Plus, I got dirty looks when I presented my passport for ID because a valid passport is the only identification necessary. Nobody was aware of this, either. So, no good deed goes unpunished and even though I followed all instructions and suggestions I was forced to sit and wait while all of this craziness went on before my eyes. As the exam was introduced we were told some of us would be required to be computer literate. In the next breath we’re told that no calculators would be allowed for the exam!!! I asked why, as this seemed old fashioned and equations would take up an inordinate amount of time. “Rules are rules,” he said. It’s been a very long time since I’ve done Division and Multiplication on paper, but I did and it took up more time. What should have taken seconds (there were 5 math problems) took minutes.

Following the test, the examiner dismissed us. I asked about receiving our results. He shook his head and said that rule had changed and we would be receiving our scores by telephone.

It was quite an experience and interesting to find out how much clerical and math I remember as it’s been years since I sat through a timed exam. I think we were all in the same boat on this one. Only the ‘2000 census’ whiny bitch finished the exam in the allotted time. But I would expect so; since she said it was the same test she took back then. Obviously she has a good memory. And it’s equally obvious that the people at the Census Bureau are LAZY!

I know I missed a few answers due my lack of knowledge of the terms the bureau uses instead of, you know…English.

All in all, I’ll probably not be receiving a friendly phone call any time soon.

And so it goes.

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