Bad Night All Round

Don’t know how it happened. No, really.  Though it is likely caused by the disease, the Chemo, and associated stress. And, oh, do I have stress! It happened so quickly.

I was eating supper when a mouthful of food became lodged in the esophagus making it impossible to swallow or bring it back up. I wasn’t choking, but damn near it as I struggled to work the food either up or down.  

I thought if I drank a large gulp of water it would help dislodge the food and it would make it’s way to the stomach and out of my care.  It wasn’t meant to be.

I was suddenly in a fit of coughing and vomiting in an attempt to relieve the strangulation.  The vomiting became so violent that I almost passed out. Still, the lump would not move.

Breathing became a problem, but I held my own - breathing deep and full breaths as possible. I hadn’t eaten much food all day, but the amount coming up was enormous and painful to expel.  It took a good half hour to finally get things to settle down. I couldn’t lie down if I wanted to breathe. 

The vomiting continued off and on for the next 3 hours to the point that my chest was aching from the massive efforts to rid my body of this problem, until I crashed onto the bed in a cold sweat, and propped up on pillows. 

The weight on the chest was almost intolerable, there was no way I was interested in drinking water, juice, or even soup. I calmed myself down, finally falling into a fitful, uneasy sleep at midnight.  

Everything ached with any movement, and even now I am afraid to ingest a liquid diet. Even an Ensure is scary to contemplate.

I would have gone to the ER, but I couldn’t trust myself not to vomit while behind the wheel - and I wasn’t about to call 911 for an ambulance. I managed.  I survived.

The pain is subsiding, and I am starving, but not ready to chance food at this moment. 

I have a Chemo appointment today, I’ll see what they suggest.  In the meantime, if I get hungry enough, I’ll knock back an Ensure and see what happens

When I have to go, this isn't the way I want to do it. This has been one horrible night. One not to remember, but I’m sure I will.

And so it goes.

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