Wednesday, September 29, 2010

It's Over

Or, Romancing 'er Passing the Stone

Without going into gory detail, I'll just say that the body has rid itself of the wretched beast. Thought I would just die at some point - nausea, chills, cold sweats, dry heaves and all - but I survived.

Before leaving work on Monday my boss insisted I take 4 packets of Crystal Lite Peach Tea guaranteed, he said, to make me pee my brains out. God-awful stuff. I was able to down 3 of the 4 but the concoction was so sickeningly artificially sweet that was remarkable, in and of itself. But, maybe it helped.

And thanks to my trusty little Melitta coffee filters (cone-shaped) I captured the little bugger. The pain truly is the closest thing to that of childbirth a man can experience, I have been told by women who have suffered with these tiny terrors.  I am always amazed that something so small can wreak such havoc on one's innards.  There is still a hint of pink in the urine and some lingering soreness, but the worst is over.

Haven't eaten much these past 3 days, so the plan is to cook light tonight then hit the sheets early to (hopefully) get a good night's rest to be ready for work tomorrow. Thanks be to G*d that I had these 2 days off. I don't know what I would have done if the stone decided to make its entrance over the weekend...better not to even think about that scenario.

I should do some grocery shopping, but too shaky to chance it this afternoon. I'll try to get the essentials in the morning before heading to work, or maybe not.  Maybe Friday.  Whatever!  For now, all is calm, quiet, and peaceful.

It is good to be back among the living, relatively pain free. Yay, me! The captured criminal will be saved and taken to my next visit to the doctor in November for analysis by the lab.

And so it goes - thankfully.
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4 comments:

  1. "Thought I would just die at some point - nausea, chills, cold sweats, dry heaves and all - but I survived."

    Oh yes. Been there done that. Just kill me and put me out of my misery. Your description of the agony of passing a kidney stone is right on the mark.

    I'm so glad you have passed the "baby." It is dangerous you know. The "baby" could of got stuck in your uretha (male?) canal and then you would have died. You took a big chance. Hopefully this is the last one in a LONG TIME. Perhaps, forever. I still have one to go (so I'm told.) I'm hoping I die before it passes.

    Now you can get on with your life. Drink lots of water!

    Crystal Light Peach Tea? Gag me with a BIG SPOON!

    A Melita coffee filter? Who are you going to give that red jagged boulder to anyway?

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  2. I am glad that is over.
    Oh how I dread getting a stone.

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  3. Glad that 'station' is passed. Take care of yourself buddy!

    [Maybe Ron needs a ring when he and his partner tie the knot, you've got an exclusive stone for it] ;)

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  4. Yeee-aaayyy!!!!!
    (Imagine all of us lifting you high on our shoulders and dancing through the town. Yes! It calls for that kind of celebration!)
    Thank goodness you passed it!

    ReplyDelete

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