Sunday, August 14, 2011

Warts, and All.

There had been a tingling, not pain, in the ball of my left foot (movie title?) for a few days.  I chalked it up to long hours on my tired puppies at the restaurant.

Well, surprise!  When I woke this morning, swung my legs off the side of the bed, and stood up - I had to sit down again.  The pain in my left foot was excruciating and I felt dizzy. (Now, stop that!) Further examination revealed what I didn't want to know.  I had given birth to a big Plantar wart seemingly over-night.  It was only then that I remembered that tingling sensation and what it meant.

Note: no disgusting wart images will be posted here.

I had them several times in the past, especially as a young boy.  Had them burned off, cut out, and frozen off.  This is the first one I've grown in a long time, but it's a nightmare for one in my current job.

At 7 am I hobbled into the pharmacy to purchase the necessary items to combat the monster, rushed home, prepped and dressed the thing - even using a donut shaped pad to keep the pressure off the area - then  hobbled off to work by 7:45.  And, wouldn't you know it, today was a killer.  97 brunches between 9 am and noon.  Close to 300 meals served between noon and 4 pm. The extra padding didn't help - at all.

Limping home I whimpered to myself, "why do I live so far away?"  Took it extra easy, eventually made it up the stairs and into the apartment where I shed clothes, and soaked in a hot Epsom Salts bath for 20 minutes. I am now soaking marinating in olives and Bombay Sapphire Gin, which, like the salts bath, is having a positive effect on my entire being.

I got through the busy day; I hope I can get through tomorrow, too.  I have Tuesday off and plan to stay off my feet as much as possible, as I attack nurse this damned thing. Please, oh please!  Not another medical bill in my future.

As Harold says in Boys in the Band,  "Life is a Goddam laugh riot."  To that I say, Amen!

And so it goes.
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3 comments:

  1. First, you now have Medicare. I hope you purchased supplemental insurance. Go to the doctor. Do not try to self medicate. You have to get this fixed.

    Second, as far as getting yourself home with your injured puppy, what do you think those Egyptian queen carry litters are for? Think Ann Baxter in "The Ten Commandents." Get one of those babies and have four of those hunky waiters at the Two Crazy Guys eatery transport you home. You could be reclining on satin pillows throwing out rose petals to your fans as they cart you across Rehoboth Avenue. In style, GO IN STYLE my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ron, I agree on the first thing, the second is a bit difficult to accomplish, unless the Dos Locos drive him home.

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Ron: No Supplemental plan, out of my range. If I had the extra $2,400. I might have gone for it.
    I've had success with home remedies in the past, so it's worth a try again.

    @Peter: Since the doctor cannot see me for 2 weeks, trying the home remedies won't hurt and may offer some relief in the interim.

    ReplyDelete

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