Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Blindsiding Bummers

I ought to have felt it coming, but didn’t. By the time I arrived for the Lab work
at 7:30 yesterday morning my numbers were well into the danger zones. The real danger was that I didn’t have symptoms and felt OK. CBC numbers said I wasn’t going anywhere for a long time, except the hospital, if necessary.

Three units of whole blood, a 6 pack of platelets, and 11 hours later I felt worse than when I arrived. As I’ve written, deep sleep has been elusive; recently, short, disquiet naps are more the norm. The Benadryl injection didn’t offer the getaway it usually does and the Center was chaotic most of the day with emergencies - I (almost) was one of them.

Negative drug reactions, irrational patients, Cardiac issues and a snap responsive nursing staff swirled around me; the day was unsettling, to say the least. Hardly the environment favorable to reading or even attempt to enjoy the Benadryl induced rest I usually experience. And, oh, how I missed it.

When I was finally unplugged, as it were, the wound wouldn’t close for another 15 minutes. More aggravation for the dog-tired nurses, and myself. When I staggered out to the car at 6:45 I wanted nothing more than my own bed. I wasn’t hungry, only thirsty beyond my normal need.

I arrived at the apartment building to find a lawn party already in progress hosted by my redneck (Duck Dynasty fans) neighbors. Their extended families have again descended upon us and this time they weren’t so quiet or well-behaved.

So many out-of-state license plates in the immediate area meant I had to park almost a block away and walk back home. I was too tired to care or get angry, besides, the parking permit applies to on-street parking, not specific about where that may be.

Sleep wouldn’t come, try as I might.  I read far into the night and woke to find the light still on and the reader lying on my chest. Turned it all off and went to sleep.

Four hours later - I’m wide awake. The wound bled a little overnight, so a call to the surgeon is on the gay agenda today. She’s in surgery on Tuesdays, but perhaps she can see me tomorrow morning to fix things up.  Just more annoyances, setbacks, and frustrations. 

Today, I am back among the living. How long that will last is up for grabs. 

So, for now, there are bells to be rung, songs to be sung, places to go and people to see.  No wait!  That’s someone else’s life.

And so it goes.



  1. Triple uggghhh and fuck it all. I did not like reading this one bit. I'm sure you enjoyed writing it less, and experiencing it even less than that. Please have an upbeat post next time with better news. Because, honestly, these posts really suck. Keep fighting, buddy. I'm sending every positive thought I can. I know that doesn't help, but I'm desperate and powerless and wish I could so something more.


    1. Sassy: you just keep sending those thoughts, but believe they DO help. I'll do what I can at this end.

  2. Boy, that was something to read. I can't imagine going through all that and remaining as calm as your words would have me believe. I'm sure it's hard sometimes, but your positive attitude will help you keep going. maybe get well wishes would help, too. Best to you.

  3. damn...and things were going so well. :(

    {{{{{hugs}}}}} cause it's all I can offer.

    1. AM: You've been on this road, so you know. Hugs are what keeps me going, even the long distance kind. Cheers!


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If they are simply a tirade or opinionated bullshit, they will be removed, so don't waste your time, or mine.

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