Straight away, whoever hires Fed-Ex drivers has GOT to be gay. The cutie that arrived on my doorstep today took my breath away. Fortunately it returned quickly so I didn’t pass out on my tiny porch, and the regular hunk delivering to the store is about 50, blond, loves to skydive and has a bubble butt beyond belief…oh, get the rose water!!! But I digress.
The new printer arrived; is bigger than advertised, but that’s OK. I’ve spent the past hour unpacking, removing yards of orange tape seemingly holding the thing together, reading the Starter Guide to setup, installing the toner cartridge all the while bracing for the possible nightmare that is called installing the software, and drivers.
To my great surprise it came with two CDs – one for VISTA and one for all the previous Windows versions. It was then I noticed another user guide of approximately 120 pages with a bright yellow sticker on the cover that read “Read This Guide Before Using This Machine.” Uh-huh, like that’s going to happen. I’ll do that at nap time. I am not going to use all the functions and if stumped about something, I can look it up, or use the help menu.
Anyway, I inserted the disk and was pleased that VISTA didn’t immediately spit it back at me, but rather the drive whirred into action eventually presenting the various install windows in succession and all went well, until the inevitable ‘restart your computer,’ box appeared and I clicked OK. The hard drive light stayed on for 15 minutes, yes, that’s 15 minutes as VISTA attempted to ingest this new information and apparently didn’t like the idea of digesting it, either.
When the monster rebooted there was no sign of the printer – anywhere. After futzing around for a while I remembered what occurred the last time I introduced new hardware to VISTA, so shutdown completely for a few minutes. On the previous occasion I was installing a small web-cam to be used to chat with friends by phone. The machine virtually rolled on its back, throwing a tantrum until I shut it down.
Worked like a charm and I now have print, scan, copy and fax capabilities, if I want them, but it’s such a pain to have to restart or reboot Windows every time some new program or bit of hardware is installed. Remind me to bitch-slap Bill Gates if we’re all ever in the same room, OK?
Still, I am a relatively happy camper this afternoon – and I have the weekend off. It’s been a beautiful day here in lower-slower with bright sun, clear sky and a light breeze. The tide is coming in; there's a blue heron nearby and I am going to sit by the pool (now closed) with a glass of Absinthe for a while.
And so it goes.