Saturday, June 21, 2008

Did'ja Ever Have One of Those Days?

In my best Andy Rooney voice:

It all started when I attempted to shower and shave getting ready for work this morning. There was no electric power, which translates to no water. The water source is a well and the pump runs on electricity. It would follow that even if the power came on soon, there may be no hot water – or very little - to accomplish both necessities.

No chance for eggs or even oatmeal today, I had to settle for Cheerios with a banana.

A half-hour later and still no power so I ditch the idea of shaving and since I showered before bed last night, I figured I’d not offend anyone today. I have plenty of time before I have to be at work so I decided to head into town to check my mail. Upon arriving at the second block from the ocean, there are no parking spaces to be found. WTF? Must have been one hell of a Friday night blowout because it seems everyone stayed over.

With no parking spaces on the avenue, I decided to park in the lot behind the post office where everyone is allowed to park while checking their boxes.

After retrieving the mail I head back to the lot to come upon a meter maid beginning to write out a ticket.

Me: Um, what are you doing?

MM: you’re parked illegally.

Me: No, I parked here in order to retrieve mail from my PO Box.

MM: (smirking) The post office is closed and there is no way you could retrieve your mail at this hour.

OK, now I know she ain’t from around here. The RB post office lobby is open 24/7 except during holiday weekends.

Me: I’m afraid you’re mistaken. See, I said (waving my fistful of bills in front of her face), I just pulled these from my box.

MM: Oh, come on…(she’s getting nasty) you expect me to believe that?

Me: Yes. In fact, you can take a walk with me to the front door to see for yourself.

MM: That’s not necessary.

Me: Oh, yes it is if you’re to continue writing that ticket. Now, it’s about a hundred feet from where we are to the front door and your choice is to accompany me, or I can summon the RB police and you can make a fool of yourself.

She drops her arms to her sides and follows me around the corner and up the steps to the front door where I point out the sign displaying the PO hours. I invite her inside where the AC has been working overtime to cool the place because so many people forget to close the front doors properly.

I can see that she’s really pissed about being called out on this; she says nothing. As we make our way back down the steps and around the corner to the parking lot, she draws herself up full height and blurts out: “ well the next time you won’t be so lucky” and I am stupefied.

I turned to face her; her face was a deep red. Clearly she was livid at having been topped and she was attempting to save face.

By this time I was in no mood for games. I got nose to nose with her and I said, girlfriend, you have just been called out and you lost. Now you could have apologized for your mistake and moved on, but you’ve chosen to play the bully card. Let me tell you something, I have noted your badge number and your name. You could have thanked me for teaching you a bit about RB customs and traditions. You didn’t want to hear, or believe any of it. It’s sad that RB felt the need of hiring someone outside the community and neglecting to teach them the most important courtesies.

I got into the car and headed for work, leaving her standing in the lot.

Act two:

Arrived at work; 6:45 am , unlocked the door, and as I disarmed the alarm system I was confronted with an unusually dark store. The security lights are out. Something is beeping in the back…I realize that we’ve no power and no phone service. This, however, is not related to the loss of power at home.

It appears that some vacationing dolt – loaded out of their mind – decided to catapult their vehicle through one of the high power poles on the highway. They did a great job knocking down the entire pole and all it conveyed – electricity, cable, DSL, and phone service. Some might say this was irresponsible; I say I hope whoever it was doesn’t breed.

I set up the store, put out all the jewelry – IN THE DARK – then with nothing else in my power to do I sit near the front windows and read until power is restored which doesn’t happen until about 11:15 am.

However, there is still no phone service; meaning the credit card terminal is useless. Many stores around ours are still without power.

Telephone service is restored at 2:30 pm. Big Whoop!

Act three:

Suddenly there is a cacophony of deafening sounds; sirens, whistles, honking horns, and flashing lights as 4 (count ‘em) rescue vehicles and six fire trucks from all over the area descend on the parking lot. A Very good way to insure people don’t shop today. It has something to do with Applebee’s restaurant. There is no smoke, but 8 firemen are poking around on the rooftop, while two rescue units move in, gather up whomever, and depart lights flashing and sirens wailing.

My head hurts, my ears are ringing, and I really want to be home and in a hot shower. My replacement finally arrives at 4 pm, so I gather my things and head for home.

Forgetting that because rain was in the forecast and I closed the apartment windows before leaving this morning, I am greeted to a veritable hot house with a temperature over 95 (there is no marker beyond that) and high humidity.

Turned on the AC, changed out of work clothes, and here I am.

Dinner is heating on the stove, and I am about to prepare a festive cocktail. After dinner a nice shower will help as I (hopefully) drift off to sleep.

And so it goes.



  1. That was terrific writing; I could 'see it all'. Diane

  2. WOW! What is that old saying "may you live in interesting times" or something like that.
    I've got a headache just reading about your day. Seems to me you took it all rather well.
    Glad you bitch-slapped that metermaid. They deserve it.



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