The Plot, 'er Blood Sickens.

Another visit to the ER yesterday. Dizziness, chills and violent shaking sent me over the edge. I was admitted within minutes.  Even the heated blankets offered no relief. It was initially thought I might need a transfusion, but that wasn't the case. 

I was having a delayed allergic reaction to the blood products received Wednesday. I haven't felt altogether well since that time.  Sluggish with no appetite or energy.

Two injections were administered and an IV to replace "precious bodily fluids" was started.  I  fell asleep. Woke to warmth and stillness. Body was calm and chills were gone. Felt like I'd been through a bad storm. Weak and exhausted.

They debated as to whether they should keep me over night JIC anything took a turn for the worse. I wanted to come home, of course, but harder heads prevailed.  I went back to sleep until 6 am.  Not sure, but it looked like I was given another unit of blood as I slept. I didn't ask, it had already been signed for in any case. I'll find out when I see the doctor on Monday morning.

I don't recall receiving my prescription meds yesterday afternoon.  Everything is a blur.  Probably best that way.  One of the IVs could have been an antibiotic as well.

Still not 100%, but I felt well enough to drive home. The staff wanted someone to pick me up, or at least follow me for safety reasons. There is no one to call. They're either planning, already gone for the holidays, or working longer, fill-in hours.

Following a half-eaten breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast, muffin, juice and coffee I was released with new instructions and a flagged note was sent to the doctor's computer file at the cancer center. 

I checked the mailbox and found 2 more holiday cards - a terrific photo card from Ron, (the dear/gossip) and one from friends in Florida. There was also a small package which, depending on health issues may be unopened til Christmas day.  Something to look forward to…sounds good to me.

Unfortunately, where there are good tidings there must be not-so-good ones. There were 2 envelopes from the Grinch Health & Social Services Dept. meant, I am sure, to ruin my day.  Not in the proper mindset to deal with governmental bullshit right now,  these will wait for another time. After all, it can't be good news with the many service cuts going into effect in January - Yes, by all means - Happy Fucking New Year!  

Turned on the phone (doesn't work in areas of the hospital, the wi-fi sucks, anyway) to find new messages. One from the locosguys flying in today from Mexico, reminding me that the Staff Holiday Party is Sunday evening at 6 pm, at the other restaurant in Lewes.  I don't know why.  Not sure I'll make that one. It's dark by then and I'm not up to parking, walking distances, and big crowds at present. I will call them when they get home to fill them in on the gory details of the past week.

Following that, a quick one from my side-kick, Debbie who was to transport me to the (long awaited) appointment in Christiana this Tuesday, explaining that she can't be my chauffeur. She's leaving tonight for Arizona. Last minute flight changes out of her control.  Spending the holiday with grandkids brings great joy and canceling would mean no refund from the airline.

I'll see how I feel. If I think I can drive, I will go.  If not, the appointment will be postponed until after the new year. 

There is one from Sassy Bear (the dear) asking for some personal information.

At this moment, I can't stand to look at the bed this morning. I don't even want to be in the same room with the thing, but that's not an option.  It's cold and a bit drizzly here, but the windows are open to let in fresh air.  Turned off the heat and left the vent blower on high to help speed things along.

I'd go to the boardwalk and sit on a bench - in the rain - if I wasn't so weak. The water may cleanse my soul; clear my head of the detritus that's making my brain hurt. Such an outing is wishful thinking and not meant to be. (Sigh!)

I know there are people in far worse shape than I, (physically and financially) but that doesn't make me feel any better. My sister is one of those people and I wish with all my heart, I could take away her pain.  Speaking of the sister…I'm going to try again to reach her today, if nothing more than just to hear her voice and share a good laugh.  I'm sure we both could use one.  I will call every hour all day until I get a response. 

In the meantime, a little music wouldn't hurt as I wait for the clean air circulate through the apartment. Then I'll close the windows, turn on the heat, take a hot shower, water the tiny tree, light a few candles, and send a few messages of my own. 

Ultimately, this episode brought up an unsettling reality; I couldn't find the car in the lot this morning,  then it hit me - I have no memory of driving to the hospital. None.  Not a good sign. 

And so it goes.

*