I am not sure.
Wish I could “go to the video tape”…but no.
I’ve been trying to sort it out for the last two days.
Too much alcohol was involved, and not by me. This was the second time this kind of outburst had surfaced.
Perhaps when enough alcohol is consumed one’s true feelings surface. Ugly, hurtful words spoken – or screamed - in my direction. Friends don’t do that unless there is some underlying unresolved issue that has to be addressed and sorted out. I attempted to place blame on the booze. However…Something died.
As we all know words and phrases mean different things to different people.
For example, my best friend used to get very upset when I would call her a survivor. She was thinking in terms of survival of the Holocaust (she lost many family members in various camps) and until she decided call me on this she always felt hurt whenever I used the phrase. When she finally told me she didn’t appreciate being compared to those who survived the Holocaust, I finally understood the connection. What I was really saying by using the “you’re a survivor” phrase was that she was strong, committed and had endured, triumphed over so many horrible life situations that many other women wouldn’t if they faced the same circumstance. Then and only then, did she comprehend my meaning – and she knows me better than any other person alive.
That the word “survivor” meant something totally different to her had been lost on me and it meant a lot to our friendship when I finally internalized her translation and she understood mine.
Anyway, as for the Sunday crash and burn I remain at a loss.
It all happened so fast, I have more to sort out and decipher. I will post more if and when I find some thread.
I’d like to think that it was all a terrible misunderstanding, but my gut tells me otherwise. This scene played out in front of our entire table and I can only imagine what the others thought, if anything. Other than shock, that is.I am done. It has been a rough day and an exhausting two days. So, I am going to have supper, a cocktail, and then watch COSMOS.
And so it goes.