Monday, March 3, 2014

Keeping Body & Soul Together.

It's been a rocky road weekend, and that's not a reference to ice cream. I was just sick in every possible way - hurting physically - and emotionally at the end of what little rope was left to hang onto. Simple chores and activities wore me down. I was totally used up.  Spent. Done. 

The trek to the pharmacy was all I could handle. I did little to nothing the rest of the weekend. Going to the kitchen or bathroom, hugging the walls for support, left me gasping for air as the dizziness came and went with no rhyme or reason. I did what my body needed to do and stayed in bed the rest of the time. 

I've eaten little, enough to keep a headache away, kept hydrated with water, tea, and electrolyte replacement concentrate - with an Ensure knocked back every once in a while.   Always sure the meds were taken on time, praying for the Benadryl to kick in to bring sleep my way.

Even lying in bed doing absolutely nothing it was a struggle to take a deep breath. So, I slept. I read to take my mind off the panic trying to take hold. I slept some more. A few times I thought of calling 911 for a trip to the ER, but I didn't have the strength to do even that.

Last evening I woke feeling like I'd been dropped from a three-story building, but I could breathe easier. After a while, I made it to the bathroom to discover that the dizziness was all but gone. Though somewhat weak I  desperately needed to take a shower. It would make me feel better, refreshed, even if I only went back to bed afterwards.  I set the Kindle to charge, grabbed towels and off I went.

The shower helped a lot. I shaved, too. That hadn't happened since Thursday.  It all felt so heavenly. Putting on clean sweats I braved the kitchen to make eggs and toast with a mug of hot green tea with honey.  All went well and I felt better as the evening progressed. 

Back in bed with Kindle charged, I read a little more and when I felt sleep creeping up on me, turned off the lights and another day slid away quietly.

Woke at 4 am this morning to heavy rain pounding on the skylights.  This abruptly turned to snow an hour later. I sat by the bedroom window watching the snow fall, enjoying a bowl of cereal and a coffee.  

It's very odd, but I feel nothing.  By that I mean nothing hurts; has my body been given another chance at healing or a quiet before the next storm? I don't know quite what to make of this sudden calm and peace. 

As I type the weather radio is telling the world that the governor has declared a state of emergency for Delaware and the snow accumulation total has been upped to 8 to 12 inches before it all ends tonight. 

Even if I needed one, I'd be hard pressed to get an ambulance here in an emergency.  But, I don't need one today.  Going back to bed to finish the latest book and maybe take another nap. 

Looks like I've weathered another one. (No pun intended.) I survived another horrible weekend, and like Yvonne De Carlo once sang, "I'm Still Here!"

And so it goes.


1 comment:

  1. I hate that you're going through this and that I can't be there to help or there. Please keep pushing through. Know you're thought of, worried about and I'm hoping there is a drastic change for the better, sooner.


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